Venting I'm tired of my ''partner''

[TheHatedOne]

I thought I finally found someone that accepts me in life that I finally have someone, a dear loved one. I was hurt, abused and exploited by all others. I thought I finally found someone. He was really loving. We were supposed to live together. But then suddenly he left, under all kind of pretenses but I knew better that deep inside he started to hate me too or even found someone else better. After all I'm used to be replaced with better people. Then he went back to his country and since then he changed drastically. He became so distant and cold, he doesn't care about my suffering anymore, he's an asshole, he even joked about my suffering today. We haven't played together since a long time, he keeps making up excuses. The thing is that he is aware of all of this and he says he's sorry but he keeps doing this. Tonight was the last straw. He told me we would finally play together cause I told him I'm getting bullied by someone in the game we play. After I finished all my chores he doesn't respond anymore. He vanished. He's a lying piece of shit. Today I realized that he's like the rest of humanity. He hates me like everyone else and wants me to suffer. No one will ever accept me, let alone love me. Humans are pieces of shit. I want to die. I hate myself. I in tears as I type this. I wanna sleep forever.

 

[TheHatedOne]

Pls don't ignore :(

 

[LadyAlastor]

Pls don't ignore :(

I'm not going to ignore you, but I will say this I know your pain I've felt your pain it's agonizing all you want to do is sleep forever, you want to die, everything else that comes with it and I feel you cuz I feel it every damn day,for me on a personal level it's hard for me to quit my ex I'm completely obsessed with her I can't stop thinking about her every single time I so much to see a picture or have a thought may as well just shoot myself right then and there.

You're not alone in this and if you need to talk to me shoot me a message whatever you have to do but you're not alone in this and I understand.

 

[FuneralCry]

I'm sorry you are going through this. People are just so cruel and are capable of causing us a lot of pain. This is why I stay away from others as much I possibly can. I can relate to wanting to sleep forever. I wish you well.

 

[Midgardsorm]

I'm sorry I haven't saw this thread before. I didn't mean to ignore.

This is exactly what always happens to me. It's already difficult to find someone we can relate to, someone that love us for what we are.
I never found a girlfriend, but I have found friends that I thought that cared about me. But the end is always the same. The person, whoever it is just goes aways, find someone better, maybe.

I feel like trash. A technology ready to be replaced as soon as the user buy w better one. The problem is that technologies doesn't have feelings, I do.

It's just how humanity works. They go from one to another, always looking for the best.

It's even worst. I'm not only replaced but also I get the feeling that I'm not the best for anyone.

I hate myself and I'm beginning to hate humanity.

--
All in all, human nature offers little to inspire. "We can say this of most people: that they are ungrateful and unreliable; they lie, they fake, they're greedy for cash and they melt away in the face of danger."
Niccolo Machiavelli - The Prince
--

My problem is that I don't want to fake, I don't want to manipulate, I just want to be myself and that always gets me into trouble.

I hope it's not the same for you, but seeing what you wrote about your partner, unfortunately, I guess it is.
One thing is for certain. You deserve better. Someone that really cares about you. Someone that really thinks that you're the best and never finds or have to look for someone better.

Play his damned little life-game with him. He isn't the best for you. Look for someone better.

Even though we don't like to do that, we are forced to by the ones who does.

 

[TheHatedOne]

I'm sorry I haven't saw this thread before. I didn't mean to ignore.

This is exactly what always happens to me. It's already difficult to find someone we can relate to, someone that love us for what we are.
I never found a girlfriend, but I have found friends that I thought that cared about me. But the end is always the same. The person, whoever it is just goes aways, find someone better, maybe.

OMG that's exactly what has been happening to me too! They all leave because they find someone better, be it supposed friends or relationships. They make sure to hurt you in some way before they leave. Someone once told me: ''People come and go''. It's a harsh truth to accept and I still struggle to accept it to this day.

I feel like trash. A technology ready to be replaced as soon as the user buy w better one. The problem is that technologies doesn't have feelings, I do.

You shouldn't feel like trash, humans just love to hurt those who are different and vulnerable cause they're the easiest to prey on. It's their fault for being cruel mindless idiots.

I hate myself and I'm beginning to hate humanity.

I've been a misanthrope since 2018. It brought me a sense of safety that my feelings of dread and disgust for humans are valid.

One thing is for certain. You deserve better. Someone that really cares about you. Someone that really thinks that you're the best and never finds or have to look for someone better.

You deserve better as well! I hope you find someone who won't disappoint you. Though it's easier said than done since it's difficult to find a decent person in this damned world. But not impossible.

 

[OrcWitch]

Some people would rather just slowly grow distant instead of having the difficult conversation that they don't want to be close anymore. This sounds like a long distance/internet relationship? Usually when those end it is difficult to remain in contact.

 

[TheHatedOne]

Some people would rather just slowly grow distant instead of having the difficult conversation that they don't want to be close anymore. This sounds like a long distance/internet relationship? Usually when those end it is difficult to remain in contact.

Initially long distance, we lived together for 1 month then we got back to ldr after he moved back to his country.

 

[KuriGohan&Kamehameha]

I am really sorry you're going through this. It is horrible to be treated this way by someone you cherish and adore.

Someone who loves you would not make a mockery out of your pain, they would not ignore you for ages, nor would they neglect the plans you'd solidified in the past and leave you hanging when you desperately need their company.

I know you must love him a lot, and it has to feel devastating watching a connection so meaningful slip through your fingers, when you desperately just want reassurance. I hope he will come to his senses and realize what he is missing out on. You deserve to be loved.

 

[Angst Filled Fuck Up]

Sorry for your struggles OP. I will just say, in the context of this site, rant threads tend to be left alone by others. Not because people don't care, but I think it's difficult for us to weigh in and give advice when we feel like we're screwed up and emotionally drained ourselves.

Of course we do want to feel nurtured and supported by others who are in the same boat. But my own rants (there are many) get near enough no responses either. So it's not just you.

 

[littlelungs]

This is so horrible and heartbreaking. People can be so unbelievably awful... I don't even know what to say. I'm just so sorry that you're going through this, OP.