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Squalo

Squalo

A Fatal Mistake
Jan 14, 2021
657
I'm 30 in March and despite my age I am already tired of living;
I hate having to work, I hate going home to my parents, I hate being surrounded by people who judge me, and I hate my emotions: I'm extremely anxious and agitated, I've suffered from depression since I was little and I have been wanting to die for at least 10 years.

I've very few consolations in life: art, video games, books ... all things that allow me to escape from this horrible world for a few hours.

I'm tired of my life, tired of everything, I never wanted all this, I didn't want to be born in such a terrible and cruel world, I just want to die and rest in peace.
 
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needed_

needed_

waiting for a miracle
Dec 17, 2021
804
I'm 30 in March and despite my age I am already tired of living;
I hate having to work, I hate going home to my parents, I hate being surrounded by people who judge me, and I hate my emotions: I'm extremely anxious and agitated, I've suffered from depression since I was little and I have been wanting to die for at least 10 years.

I've very few consolations in life: art, video games, books ... all things that allow me to escape from this horrible world for a few hours.

I'm tired of my life, tired of everything, I never wanted all this, I didn't want to be born in such a terrible and cruel world, I just want to die and rest in peace.
I feel you. I'm 30 now. can't bear it anymore
 
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freedompass

freedompass

Warlock
Jan 27, 2021
768
I totally hear that. I'm lost without my distractions. The perennial predicament of the body demanding to live while mentally we just wanna check out and have peace. I feel for you and all of us really.
 
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Chiisai

Chiisai

To infinity and beyond!
Sep 1, 2021
754
I'm 30 in March and despite my age I am already tired of living;
I hate having to work, I hate going home to my parents, I hate being surrounded by people who judge me, and I hate my emotions: I'm extremely anxious and agitated, I've suffered from depression since I was little and I have been wanting to die for at least 10 years.

I've very few consolations in life: art, video games, books ... all things that allow me to escape from this horrible world for a few hours.

I'm tired of my life, tired of everything, I never wanted all this, I didn't want to be born in such a terrible and cruel world, I just want to die and rest in peace.
I feel you. You're not alone.
 
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ncmxm

ncmxm

Experienced
Jun 9, 2021
232
I'm 30 in March and despite my age I am already tired of living;
I hate having to work, I hate going home to my parents, I hate being surrounded by people who judge me, and I hate my emotions: I'm extremely anxious and agitated, I've suffered from depression since I was little and I have been wanting to die for at least 10 years.

I've very few consolations in life: art, video games, books ... all things that allow me to escape from this horrible world for a few hours.

I'm tired of my life, tired of everything, I never wanted all this, I didn't want to be born in such a terrible and cruel world, I just want to die and rest in peace.
Cazzo quanto ti capisco

Io sono più giovane di te, quest'estate compierò 25 anni (se sarò ancora viva ahah) e sono stufa di questa vita di cazzo

Odio lavorare, odio la maggior parte delle persone, odio dover mangiare per sopravvivere e mantenere questo corpo che mi fa cagare

Mi sento felice solo quando mi distraggo dalla realtà con i film o i libri, e adesso sto imparando l'italiano ed è anche una buona distrazione

Spero che non ti dispiaccia se ti scrivo in italiano, ho visto uno dei tuoi post dove hai detto che eri italiano
 
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DoodleBug

DoodleBug

Just a guy passing by
Dec 9, 2019
134
This is very relatable. The dullness of this daily existence knows no bounds. Sending out massive hugs :c
 
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Squalo

Squalo

A Fatal Mistake
Jan 14, 2021
657
Cazzo quanto ti capisco

Io sono più giovane di te, quest'estate compierò 25 anni (se sarò ancora viva ahah) e sono stufa di questa vita di cazzo

Odio lavorare, odio la maggior parte delle persone, odio dover mangiare per sopravvivere e mantenere questo corpo che mi fa cagare

Mi sento felice solo quando mi distraggo dalla realtà con i film o i libri, e adesso sto imparando l'italiano ed è anche una buona distrazione

Spero che non ti dispiaccia se ti scrivo in italiano, ho visto uno dei tuoi post dove hai detto che eri italiano
alla tua età qualche speranza di migliorare ancora ce l'avevo, invece più invecchio e più mi rendo conto che i lati positivi della vita sono sempre meno.
vivere questa vita per me è come leggere un libro molto brutto: preferisco buttare via il libro invece di sforzarmi per arrivare all'ultima pagina, tanto so già che il finale è deludente.

at your age I still had some hope of improving, but the older I get, the more I realize that the positive sides of life are less and less.
living this life for me is like reading a very bad book: I prefer to throw the book away instead of forcing myself to finish it, I already know that the ending is disappointing.
 
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Anxieyote

Anxieyote

Sobriety over everything else • 31 • Midwest
Mar 24, 2021
444
I'm 28, and it's been going downhill since about age 20. The worst part about getting older is that people aren't willing to meet you halfway anymore if you're lacking—whether it be financially, romantically, or socially. You need to have your shit together or people aren't even going to give you the time of day.

A 30-year-old who hates their life is far less likely to recieve sympathy than a 16-year-old who does. Society is like, "we need to help the teenager meet their needs and be happy because they have so much unrealized potential", but the older you get, the response becomes closer to "Suck it up and deal with it. You're an adult, you should be able to handle this stuff."

The temptation to CTB increases steadily each year as a result, because I'm not able to meet the standards society says I should be meeting.
 
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Crazy4u

Crazy4u

Enlightened
Sep 29, 2021
1,318
life is so dull especially when you are surrounded by negative people. Can you move out and live alone?
 
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DoodleBug

DoodleBug

Just a guy passing by
Dec 9, 2019
134
I'm 28, and it's been going downhill since about age 20. The worst part about getting older is that people aren't willing to meet you halfway anymore if you're lacking—whether it be financially, romantically, or socially. You need to have your shit together or people aren't even going to give you the time of day.

A 30-year-old who hates their life is far less likely to recieve sympathy than a 16-year-old who does. Society is like, "we need to help the teenager meet their needs and be happy because they have so much unrealized potential", but the older you get, the response becomes closer to "Suck it up and deal with it. You're an adult, you should be able to handle this stuff."

The temptation to CTB increases steadily each year as a result, because I'm not able to meet the standards society says I should be meeting.
I agree, almost nobody who is going through a lot while in their adult life will be met with sympathy and compassion. Its all every Man for himself in a world full of wolves.

Its even worse when you are an ugly, unproductive male or a woman past her prime or not pretty enough to be horribly taken advantage of. Every shroud of concern in others seems awkward and fake.
 
Last edited:
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Lost Magic

Lost Magic

Illuminated
May 5, 2020
3,201
I honestly feel like I have lived at least a decade too long. Adulthood (for the most part) has been an absolute chore. I miss being a kid and I think that most people do, unless their childhood was bad. I had a messed up childhood, but I had more happy times then, than I do now. The way the system is structured, makes it so difficult to be carefree. You are turned into a curmudgeon because you are forced into being a competitive slave. Then when you are of no use to them any more you are treated like you are a burden. And when you are old and sick you don't even get the courtesy of being euthanized when you have had enough. No wonder some people want to die prematurely. This whole rotten game is rigged against us.
 
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nopointofliving

nopointofliving

Warrior
Apr 19, 2021
513
I turn 30 this July, it feels awful ...
 
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FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
42,571
I am also very tired of life, but I am only 21. I have never really wanted to be alive. Life is mostly just pointless suffering. If there is anything positive it never seems to last long. I believe that life is just stress, loss, pain and disappointment. Being trapped in a miserable existence where everything is hopeless can be the worst feeling. To me there is nothing good about being alive, even things like distractions do not make me feel better. I wish I was never born, as to never exist means to never suffer. More than anything I just want non existence as well. I wish you the best.
 
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L

Ligottian

Paragon
Dec 19, 2021
967
When I turned 30, I thought I was at a point where a future happy life was very possible. Alas, it didn't work out that way.

Just for one moment/ I thought I'd found my way/Destiny unfolded/I watched it slip away
- Ian Curtis, lead singer and songwriter for Joy Division, hung himself May 18, 1980
 
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MewtwoIsAlive

MewtwoIsAlive

Suffering
Jul 11, 2020
226
Yup, good job for actually making it till 30, im much younger and i am so done.
 
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Lost Magic

Lost Magic

Illuminated
May 5, 2020
3,201
Not gonna lie but my 30's have been just awful. I lost so much this decade, it's ridiculous. So many broken dreams and loved ones gone. All, I do now is try to be content with the simpler pleasures (few and far between) until I decide that enough is enough and throw in the towel. I'm glad that I have no human or pet dependents. It's just me and the four walls breathing in on me lol.
 
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Sunset Limited

Sunset Limited

I believe in Sunset Limited
Jul 29, 2019
1,352
45 here and I probably won't see 46. Everything is getting worse.
 
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