I’m throwing all care out the window

[willitpass]

It's not like I had much care to begin with. I was already throwing my life away with severe self harm. But I will fucking up the game now. I will overdose on more and more dangerous substances in larger and larger quantities. Fuck wearing a seatbelt. I'll start sleeping with a bag over my head every fucking night if that's what it takes. I will become completely and utterly reckless. Something has to fucking kill me eventually. I have been trying so fucking hard and for nothing. I will up the game until it kills me I swear to god.
It's a fucked world live in. Those who want to live die so easily. Those who want to die can't seem to no matter how hard they try. It's a joke.

 

[opheliaoveragain]

we are here with you

 

[willitpass]

Think I might overdose on Tylenol tonight just to make myself nauseous and vomit. Ever since I made myself so sick from it back in the spring with daily overdoses of it now anytime I take it I am nauseous for hours before finally throwing up. Think I might do that just to make myself miserable.

 

[willitpass]

Took a bunch of Tylenol and naproxen. Gonna start taking ridiculous amounts everyday. I've already been overdosing on naproxen most days but I'll up the game. I have no fucking self regard anymore. Gonna hoard up a bunch of Visine and maybe one day just say fuck it and take a shit load and see what happens.
My hair has already been falling out because of my eating disorder, but the stress of these last few weeks has it coming out in clumps now.
Back to laxatives now too. Nothing to lose. No reason not to.

 

[willitpass]

I really don't feel well right now. Tingly and dizzy and have orthostatic hypotension. I deserve every ounce of discomfort I feel. Feeling comfortable in my body is not a luxury I deserve to afford myself. Anything that causes me to feel bad is what I should be doing.
There's a song, Broken-Anson Seabra. There's a line that just really fits how I feel about myself anymore. "Do I deserve a shred of worth, or am I just another faked fucked up lost cause? And am I human, or am I something else?" I am something else. Something subhuman.

 

[undecided]

Took a bunch of Tylenol and naproxen. Gonna start taking ridiculous amounts everyday. I've already been overdosing on naproxen most days but I'll up the game. I have no fucking self regard anymore. Gonna hoard up a bunch of Visine and maybe one day just say fuck it and take a shit load and see what happens.
My hair has already been falling out because of my eating disorder, but the stress of these last few weeks has it coming out in clumps now.
Back to laxatives now too. Nothing to lose. No reason not to.

If you have all of these medicines at hand, why not just take them all at once and be done with it? Just curious!

 

[willitpass]

If you have all of these medicines at hand, why not just take them all at once and be done with it? Just curious!

Tylenol and naproxen aren't going to kill you in a massive overdose. You'll just throw them all up and feel like shit, and fuck your liver and kidneys in the process. And I just tried taking two massive overdoses of cardiac meds that are supposed to be lethal in the quantities I took the other day and somehow survived.

 

[undecided]

Tylenol and naproxen aren't going to kill you in a massive overdose. You'll just throw them all up and feel like shit, and fuck your liver and kidneys in the process. And I just tried taking two massive overdoses of cardiac meds that are supposed to be lethal in the quantities I took the other day and somehow survived.

It all helps though, if you're desperate! Maybe fucking up your liver and kidneys will be your way out. I wish you well on your journey.

 

[willitpass]

It all helps though, if you're desperate! Maybe fucking up your liver and kidneys will be your way out. I wish you well on your journey.

That's the plan with the daily overdosing. Fucking my liver and kidneys. But taking them all at once would be rather pointless. I would throw up more than I would keep down and absorb. I take enough to keep it down and thus absorb all of it but take enough that it's still well above the max daily dosage. I've been doing it for months now.

 

[Rev346]

Not Tylenol! Liver failure is a painful and long drawn out way to go. I get your pain. In the big manual by Geo Stone (forgot the name if the book but I found it on a thread here) the author says that suicide is hard so to do it right you need a plan. Otherwise the success rate falls drastically. Do your best to focus on a plan, research the methods, and try to avoid impulsivity.

 

[Surai]

My care is losing too it just seems like im giving up on everything and its becoming easier to not care, which scares me a little

 

[Alexei_Kirillov]

Not Tylenol! Liver failure is a painful and long drawn out way to go. I get your pain. In the big manual by Geo Stone (forgot the name if the book but I found it on a thread here) the author says that suicide is hard so to do it right you need a plan. Otherwise the success rate falls drastically. Do your best to focus on a plan, research the methods, and try to avoid impulsivity.

Good intentioned message but if you're not up-to-date, this user is extremely knowledgeable in this area and is well aware of the consequences of her actions (and the probabilities of said consequences).

 

[JustA_LittlePerson]

Good intentioned message but if you're not up-to-date, this user is extremely knowledgeable in this area and is well aware of the consequences of her actions (and the probabilities of said consequences).