I'm thinking about it again. I'm thinking about recovery...

[GravityUtilizer]

Basically my depression's way down and though I can't see any actual meaning to life I might just have enough grace in my current situation to hang around a bit longer. The last two years have been HELL ON EARTH so anything that isn't makes me wonder should I maybe try sticking around, at least for a while? (Purely rhetorical.)

Anyway I'm 35 and I'm in that optimistic a mood today I almost wanna give myself till 40 to maybe not be such a loser.

But yeah. We'll see.

 

[Silvermorning]

Nothing to lose, since everything is already lost, we are basically all dead men and women walking the regulars of SS methinks.
I started this new job i'm in with a made up curriculum, shame on me, but i had to justify the giant holes in my resume , so yeah,( white ) litle lies were necessary ..

They might fire me before the month is over (or i might quit) but at least while it lasts it forces me to go out, just took a walk under the rain tonight, absorbing the lifeforce of the city, smelling the sea
It changes from staring the walls of my room all day.

Lots of hugs op.

 

[Lilacmoon]

if you do choose recovery i wish you luck. it can be a difficult journey but if you make it perhaps you find happiness.

 

[Silvermorning]

Also you arent a loser, op, nor am i.
At least i dont think so, not that way, we are just different from neurotypicals, yeah normal some from birth, some due to ptds , and others from both,

Its like trying to win a race with just one leg. Not easy.

 

[AutoTap]

I wish you the best with recovery. I wish I could try recovery but I don't see the point anymore. I wish I did. Sending luck!