• New TOR Mirror: suicidffbey666ur5gspccbcw2zc7yoat34wbybqa3boei6bysflbvqd.onion

  • Hey Guest,

    If you want to donate, we have a thread with updated donation options here at this link: About Donations

ReadyOrNot?

ReadyOrNot?

gave up on life long ago
Feb 13, 2024
56
So, I'm thinking about CTB for years now. Atm the urge is very strong (and I can't talk about it with anyone, stupid society)

Drugs have always fascinated me and I have some experience, but no hard drugs. I consumed tons of Kratom but that isn't comparable, I still do. I think if it's your best orgasm x1000, as they say, surely I want to experience that warm feeling before CTB. I doubt it's orgasm x1000 though.

So today the curiosity and urge was so strong I went 2 hours through the places which are known to offer these things. I have nothing to do with criminal activity or the drug scene. But I do have an eye for these street things and don't look like a cop. Very much not like a cop, lol. So it was easy to find someone. I used someone who was begging and paid him for his services.
He went buying 1.0, so he said, from someone just near us. He said he offered good Product but honestly I doubt it. It's very brown and the "vinegar"-like smell is not very strong. At least I know how it smells now. I have smelled it before, a lot times more I would've expected. He probably scammed me big time. Anyway, it will probably do what I want. If I had to guess he had a big chunk of 0.7 and I got some crumbles 0.3 but I'm very bad at guessing the weight of these things. He wanted to show me how to do it but my anxiety was getting very high and I aborted quickly.

I rushed to get him to split it (he bought 2x the amount of money I gave him for more Product), gave him some money and went home. I had anxiety all the way home and was getting paranoid of getting followed by Police. I'm fairly certain no one followed me though. Even if, the authority's in my country don't care too much about so little. Would probably be dropped anyway.
I repackaged it and put it away, I have an appointment tomorrow and I need to think and sleep about it for a few days. But my mind is racing.

I will probably try snorting because this is the most straightforward. If I find some good videos and resources I prefer smoking but there is much to go wrong. I haven't found all the things I want to know yet. I'm afraid to hold my breath for too long for example, or just vaporizing it without feeling it.

The second reason I want to do it is to get a feel for the substance I probably will CTB with. I'm very sceptical of SN, there're plenty of experiences of H OD. They say it was just black and painless until they got Narcaned. I imaging without Narcane it just goes into a peaceful, painless death. I blacked out for other reasons before and it was exactly like that. Just blackness, just nothing. I want to do IV but I need experience for that. And why not have fun until then.

I wrote a lot how I got it today but the reason I open this thread is not so much the consumption. I want to know if anyone else had this thought (Trying H before CBT) too. Have you done it? What do you think of my idea, should I do it, should I not do it? Why, why not?

And of course if you have anything else you think someone should do before CTB I'm very curious to hear it.
 
hikikomorizombie

hikikomorizombie

Ouch
Jan 15, 2024
771
holy moly :o u are sooooo lucky!!! cold copping is so hard + so scary, i give u props. i'll never be able to do that, but i've def thought abt it a few times. i passed up the opportunity to get heroin months ago & have regretted it ever since😭if u decide to try it, good luck!!! enjoy the high for me.

i used to lurk on r/heroin & r/addictedtotheneedle all the time, & from what i've seen from longtime users makes me 100% believe it's better than an orgasm. i don't think snorting's advised, believe recommended ROAs are smoking & maybe boofing from what i can remember.
 
Last edited:
mortuarymary

mortuarymary

Enlightened
Jan 17, 2024
1,374
Taking enough would make you CTB
 
ReadyOrNot?

ReadyOrNot?

gave up on life long ago
Feb 13, 2024
56
I'm too much of a coward. I wanted to try it this weekend but I didn't. The urge isn't that strong anymore.
Idk if I do. I'm still curious though.
 
shantyizlit

shantyizlit

Really, what was the point?
Jul 7, 2023
185
you probably don't want to fuck around with it too much if that's what you're going to use to ctb, as your body becomes more used to metabolizing and dealing with the substance it'll take more to kill ya (and it already takes a lot)
 
  • Like
Reactions: BrainShower
TapeMachine

TapeMachine

perpetually confused
Jan 12, 2023
365
The thing about addiction is...instead of killing yourself when things start getting really ugly for you (which is likely your ultimate goal), you might just decide to stick around to chase the high instead...over and over and over again. Just one more high, just one more rendezvous with the warm embrace of H and that delectable, euphoric rush of dopamine flooding every inch of your body, mind, and soul.

Yeah, you might just go "full junkie" and postpone death indefinitely, just for that sliver of hope that you might live another day to feel the sweet release of heroin in your body again- unless of course, your ability to acquire the drugs has suddenly been made impossible. At that point, when withdrawals set in, you will definitely want to die.

I don't know, man. Tread lightly. I definitely don't recommend experimenting with heroin addiction.
 
Raven2

Raven2

Experienced
Dec 1, 2022
253
I would be worried I'd enjoy the euphoria and get hooked on it and end up with an addiction. I thought injecting was the best way to overdose on.
 
Terry A. Davis

Terry A. Davis

Member
Aug 28, 2023
41
heroin will have the opposite effect. wanting to ctb means you want to leave, heroin will chain you to this world in search of the next high.

edit: I have an ex heroin addict friend/family member and they were never the same afterwards. Their attitude sort of resembles ADHD now but I know its because they are constantly agitated from being unable to achieve that heightened level of dopamine. They're very lucky to have kicked the habit but it doesnt ever fully leave you. Just like cigarette addiction.
 
  • Like
Reactions: TapeMachine
ReadyOrNot?

ReadyOrNot?

gave up on life long ago
Feb 13, 2024
56
It has been a week and I still haven't done it. I might just flush it down the toilet. I'm still curious but I'm also a coward.
 
xoirse

xoirse

caffeine overdose
Feb 15, 2024
58
what do you think about ctb by H overdose?
 
rotciv

rotciv

Something In The Way
Mar 25, 2023
341
I think opioid withdrawals could be more of an incentive for CTB, and using nitazenes could bring the desired effect.
 

Similar threads

bianbianbianbian
Replies
2
Views
135
Suicide Discussion
bianbianbianbian
bianbianbianbian
SmallKoy
Replies
13
Views
346
Suicide Discussion
DefinitelyReady
DefinitelyReady
efffervescence
Replies
8
Views
274
Suicide Discussion
efffervescence
efffervescence
asphyxiangel
Replies
9
Views
121
Suicide Discussion
whywere
W
W
Replies
4
Views
172
Suicide Discussion
wishicouldctb
W