I'm terrified of being rescued during my CTB

[Ellipsis]

I would like to CTB by SN in a soundproof hotel but despite this, I am terribly afraid that the neighbors will hear strange noises and call for help. It's a real fear, I want my attempt to be the one and only.
The other choice would be CTB in my apartment but I don't want to die in it. On the other hand, I tell myself that no one will find me in my apartment, so if there is a failed attempt, I shouldn't be hospitalized.

I do not know what to do. Why is it so difficult? All this worries me, especially since I don't have access to benzos against the SI. CTB requires so much preparation, expense, it constitutes a considerable mental load...

 

[freedomcalls]

It is a weighty decision with so many factors to consider

If you are in a large ish hotel, hopefully people wouldn't pay attention to the noises in other rooms… but I can't help but feel bad for the chambermaid who'd find your remains…. If you did it in your own apartment, you could have a note on the door of the room you are in suggesting that whoever is looking for you should contact emergency personnel rather than opening the door themselves

 

[jodes2]

I don't think anyone would react to CTB noises in a hotel - people just don't care during the day whatsoever, and during the night they'll most likely just shrug off reasonable noises as par for the course

 

[Ellipsis]

If you are in a large ish hotel, hopefully people wouldn't pay attention to the noises in other rooms… but I can't help but feel bad for the chambermaid who'd find your remains…. If you did it in your own apartment, you could have a note on the door of the room you are in suggesting that whoever is looking for you should contact emergency personnel rather than opening the door themselves

I thought in any case to leave a note somewhere, I don't want to taumatize people.

I don't think anyone would react to CTB noises in a hotel - people just don't care during the day whatsoever, and during the night they'll most likely just shrug off reasonable noises as par for the course

What you say reassures me a little. Soundproofing is the first criterion for choosing a hotel. It is true that CTB in the middle of the week, the night would be preferable.

 

[Sunset Limited]

I will CTB in a hotel. I'm worried too. Not about sound, but I hope there are no hidden cameras. It sucks that I can't do CTB at home, I'm so angry.

 

[Ellipsis]

Why aren't you worried about the noises, if I may ask? I would really like to do it at the hotel for once.

For hidden cameras, this can be pretty easy to spot with your phone's flashlight. You pass over objects that seem suspicious (smoke detector, alarm clock) and you can easily see if there is a camera lens. I had seen a tutorial on instagram.

 

[Sunset Limited]

Why aren't you worried about the noises, if I may ask? I would really like to do it at the hotel for once.

For hidden cameras, this can be pretty easy to spot with your phone's flashlight. You pass over objects that seem suspicious (smoke detector, alarm clock) and you can easily see if there is a camera lens. I had seen a tutorial on instagram.

Sound is not a risk with my method. I'm going to OD with an IV anesthetic. Only a hidden camera can stop me. That's a possibility since I live in a shitty country.

 

[Little T]

As I'm struggling to wrap up lose ends, the recent post quoted below made alot of sense to me -

"I heard It is a defense mechanism- our minds cut off our dopamine-motivation circuits, so we cannot progress with plans to kill the said brain. It is battle of will and instinct. It is much safer to make the person super tired and fatigued because It makes him/her less likely to ctb."

And yes the money and preparation is exhausting.

As for me, I'm going to ctb at my father's house' in the same room he died.

I wish you peace.

 

[FuneralCry]

We do live in a world that makes ctb so unnecessarily difficult and complicated for people after all. I hate this, as we were all forced to endure a life that we never asked for so we shouldn't have to struggle so much in leaving it behind. It must be really tiring and awful dealing with all those fears, the thought of something potentially going wrong if I was to attempt ctb scares me as well. But I hope that you find the freedom that you wish for.

 

[unlimited5722]

I will CTB in a hotel. I'm worried too. Not about sound, but I hope there are no hidden cameras. It sucks that I can't do CTB at home, I'm so angry.

I understand you so much.. this is my biggest fear, I am going to CTB soon and I have chosen a hotel, I can't at home. I hope there is no hidden camera

 

[theboy]

putting tape or a small towel (or cloths) inside the mouth may reduce the sound of the noises

15-30 minutes alone is recommended to avoid being rescued.

 

[Ellipsis]

Thank you for your answers, the idea of a garment/cloth in the mouth could lessen the noise. On the one hand I tell myself that, whether for the hotel or the apartment, if a neighbor heard strange noises, it would be unlikely that he would try to return, right?

And it's true that everything is done to prevent us from CTB, even our own body, I recognize myself a lot in this state of permanent fatigue which would "prevent" suicide. But hey, I'm happy to be leaving.

 

[Kenya]

I would like to CTB by SN in a soundproof hotel but despite this, I am terribly afraid that the neighbors will hear strange noises and call for help. It's a real fear, I want my attempt to be the one and only.
The other choice would be CTB in my apartment but I don't want to die in it. On the other hand, I tell myself that no one will find me in my apartment, so if there is a failed attempt, I shouldn't be hospitalized.

I do not know what to do. Why is it so difficult? All this worries me, especially since I don't have access to benzos against the SI. CTB requires so much preparation, expense, it constitutes a considerable mental load...

Where were you able to acquire the sn?