Venting I‘m such a horrible partner

[AtomicWaffles]

Why does my life always get to this? I was doing so good, they were happy, I was happy and now I can't feel my spark and my spirit I had. I don't want to think, i'm tired of having to hold onto them in the face of such a sick and perverted Society. I don't want to do my work, I don't want to leave my home, I am not even looking forward to this vacation I have to go on. I just want them and even that is starting to make me bleed, I love them but I want to die. What do I do and how do I deal with the fact i'd leave them behind? I just want to sleep and never wake up, things could be so good yet it has to hurt so bad. Why can't I be stronger, i'm so sorry to them. I can't believe it.

I want out, I NEED out. I can't do this anymore