Help I'm stuck in a hell and don't know what to do.

[Meaninglesslife50]

I have an exam ahead of myself and the exam itself is very important and life changing something like the American SAT exam but different in some ways.And it is very hard to study for and there is a lot of competition and it is one of the only ways to get into college.It's been a long time since I haven't studied.I was supposed to ctb this week but for some supply issues I couldn't and I don't know what to do.Life looks so meaningless and bleak to me even if I get into college and have a good academic degree I most likely wouldn't be able to get a job because the economy in my country is fucked up on many levels and even If I get a job it is doesn't seem to be worth it.I mean what is the point of life?I'm going to die anyway so why shouldn't I do it now?it doesn't look like that I'm going to have a good future and I'm quite a recluse and somewhat anti-social and incapable of connecting with other people and have no friends.I know getting into a new environment can give a different perspective but I don't think that it would be able to make me a different person that is friendly and likeable.If life is about our connection with other people then it seems like that it isn't for me.There are lots of books for me to read and lots of things that I like doing but would it matter If just keep all this to myself and be alone? The sight of living with of parents who are the reason that I'm in this situation just makes me sick.No matter what I do now it will not matter in the end and I would turn to dust anyway no matter if I become a person that is content with his/her life or If I just end it now.So what's the point of trying?Now i'm supposed to be studying and I have no motivation to.But I don't really want to die but I don't really want to live either and that is the dilema that I'm faced with and being somewhat depreessed doesn't help either..I don't have any clinal or diagnosed depression but I've been like that for months it it seems very real.and do not know what action to take.Maybe you guys can give me some perspective.

 

[PaYo]

leave parents

 

[XYZ]

Nice avatar you've got there. Welcome to SS!

I've taken loads of exams in my day, so I know a thing or two about how stressful it can be. I can only tell you what it was like for me and maybe that'll help you a little.

When I took my first degree I hated every second of it, every paper, ever seminar, every fucking lecture, I squirmed like a worm for years. I was miserable. That's because I was at the wrong university, pursuing the wrong degree.

When I took my second degree, I absolutely loved it, even the stressful bits. It was so exciting to take exams, I even looked forward to doing it, because it gave me a high after all the tension of studying so hard.

My conclusion is that I could not find the motivation the first time around because I lacked passion and a genuine intresent in the field I had chosen. Are you passionate about the degree you plan to pursue once you pass the exam you mention?

 

[Meaninglesslife50]

Nice avatar you've got there. Welcome to SS!

I've taken loads of exams in my day, so I know a thing or two about how stressful it can be. I can only tell you what it was like for me and maybe that'll help you a little.

When I took my first degree I hated every second of it, every paper, ever seminar, every fucking lecture, I squirmed like a worm for years. I was miserable. That's because I was at the wrong university, pursuing the wrong degree.

When I took my second degree, I absolutely loved it, even the stressful bits. It was so exciting to take exams, I even looked forward to doing it, because it gave me a high after all the tension of studying so hard.

My conclusion is that I could not find the motivation the first time around because I lacked passion and a genuine intresent in the field I had chosen. Are you passionate about the degree you plan to pursue once you pass the exam you mention?

The problem is that I have no passion about studying.the things you have to study for the exam are completely unrelated to the degree that I want to get which can be frustrating.Now that I think about it I think I just haven't tried enough and I think I'm in the wrong forum.Sorry!

 

[XYZ]

The problem is that I have no passion about studying.the things you have to study for the exam are completely unrelated to the degree that I want to get which can be frustrating.Now that I think about it I think I just haven't tried enough and I think I'm in the wrong forum.Sorry!

Good luck to you!