Im stuck alone with my thoughts and the quietness is killing me

[Rachel]

And I'm tired of fighting. Dying makes me sad, and Im terrified but I feel like I should drink a bunch amd just rip off the bandaid

 

[x~Sophia~x]

Firstly, I'm sorry you're struggling, do you have any support from mental health services?
And what do you mean by "drink a bunch?"

 

[bov]

Please try to make your decision sober. You deserve clarity.

 

[Lordsudbury]

I feel you, it's killing me <3

 

[Rachel]

Firstly, I'm sorry you're struggling, do you have any support from mental health services?
And what do you mean by "drink a bunch?"

I have a therapist but dont wanna bug him. An drink a bunch of alcohol to make ctb easier

 

[justanotherstar]

I know it's so tempting to drink to make it easier to CTB but honestly most people who regret their attempts are people who acted impulsively. If life is that bad then tomorrow is just a day away, what's one more day? Take some time to think about it and see if you still feel the same tomorrow or the day after or next week because things change. People here are testimony to that. It's better to think it through, have a plan. I know it's difficult though and sorry you're feeling so low. Keep talking

 

[AutoTap]

I am also tired of fighting. It doesn't seem to ever get better but I don't have any other choice besides death.

It's not quite my time for death. I wouldn't have done myself and my family justice. I still have some meds and therapy to try. It's long, it's rough, I want to die, I hate life, most days I can't leave the house, I can barely leave my bed sometimes. I have crippling anxiety and depression that never seems to get better. So I understand.

However, I would like you to reconsider ctb when drunk as it may not be what you truly want as alcohol is a depressant and most attempts when drunk end up failing.

 

[RepressedMind]

Impulsively drinking substances can lead to a lot of regret. Sober up and plan out your suicide, so that you'll have a sturdy way of catching the bus. For the quietness play some music, or maybe watch a movie.

 

[x~Sophia~x]

I have a therapist but dont wanna bug him. An drink a bunch of alcohol to make ctb easier

Rachel, you won't be bugging him, it's his job to make sure you're mentally well.

 

[LenkaX]

Rachel, you won't be bugging him, it's his job to make sure you're mentally well.

"mentally well"? What an oxymoron for me....

 

[x~Sophia~x]

"mentally well"? What an oxymoron for me....

Whatever... I don't know anything about you do I

and I wasn't even talking to you, was I? lol

 

[Rachel]

I know it's so tempting to drink to make it easier to CTB but honestly most people who regret their attempts are people who acted impulsively. If life is that bad then tomorrow is just a day away, what's one more day? Take some time to think about it and see if you still feel the same tomorrow or the day after or next week because things change. People here are testimony to that. It's better to think it through, have a plan. I know it's difficult though and sorry you're feeling so low. Keep talking

But Ive been struggling with this for 11 years. I already know how I want to go out and all the details. By this point another day doesn't seem like it would do anything. Im just gonna keep cycling into despair

I am also tired of fighting. It doesn't seem to ever get better but I don't have any other choice besides death.

It's not quite my time for death. I wouldn't have done myself and my family justice. I still have some meds and therapy to try. It's long, it's rough, I want to die, I hate life, most days I can't leave the house, I can barely leave my bed sometimes. I have crippling anxiety and depression that never seems to get better. So I understand.

However, I would like you to reconsider ctb when drunk as it may not be what you truly want as alcohol is a depressant and most attempts when drunk end up failing.

What if I go to the hotel sober? I honestly want two days in a hotel. One last day to relax. Eat my favorite food/snack. Watch TV. And I would want to go through with it on night two. I just wouldnt want to leave the hotel alive and I think the alcohol would help with that. I would do low suspension hanging

Impulsively drinking substances can lead to a lot of regret. Sober up and plan out your suicide, so that you'll have a sturdy way of catching the bus. For the quietness play some music, or maybe watch a movie.

Oh Ive had my plan details decided years ago. Ive practiced knot tying and placements too

Impulsively drinking substances can lead to a lot of regret. Sober up and plan out your suicide, so that you'll have a sturdy way of catching the bus. For the quietness play some music, or maybe watch a movie.

Also, I recently started listening to audio books. I like the voices I guess. I really like podcast too but Im not too familiar with whats good

 

[Hollydeathripper]

Is hard when the silence overcomes you and you don't know how to react night time for me is so sad is so hard to sleep