I'm still here but

[lost illusions]

I feel another game coming

 

[CuriousAboutThis]

I feel another game coming

What do you mean by another game coming?

Game of life between struggling with suicidal thoughts.

 

[lost illusions]

Its when I get to point, brain shuts off, start drinking, playing with a revolver.

Don't worry, I'm not there yet. J D and I don't get along to well but I'm really starting to want a taste

 

[lost illusions]

I'll still be here for while, only the good die young

Right now tequila time

 

[CuriousAboutThis]

Its when I get to point, brain shuts off, start drinking, playing with a revolver.

Don't worry, I'm not there yet. J D and I don't get along to well but I'm really starting to want a taste

Who is J D if you mind me asking? I stopped with drinking alcohol I was drinking to the point where I was less focus on my health and family and friends and plus there was a breaking point to where I actually wanted to die due to some asshole who doesn't know shit from shealoa however you spell it to the point I drank thirty two Benadryls with water trying to kill myself I know in the grand scheme of things that 32 Benadryls won't kill you unless you jump in a lake to drown yourself.

 

[CuriousAboutThis]

I'll still be here for while, only the good die young

Right now tequila time

If asked would you take me with you in terms of suicide would you despite the fact I want to live while also want to die?

 

[lost illusions]

Who is J D if you mind me asking? I stopped with drinking alcohol I was drinking to the point where I was less focus on my health and family and friends and plus there was a breaking point to where I actually wanted to die due to some asshole who doesn't know shit from shealoa however you spell it to the point I drank thirty two Benadryls with water trying to kill myself I know in the grand scheme of things that 32 Benadryls won't kill you unless you jump in a lake to drown yourself.

Jack Daniels

 

[CuriousAboutThis]

Jack Daniels

Yeah I used to mix Jack and Coca Cola but becareful with that alcohol helps your mood but also will destroy you to.

Again I am not trying to sway you away from whatever it is you are going through for I have no authority over you but if I may what is going through your mind and what is fucking with you in your life me it is just myself and suicidal thoughts from time to time and my past and my own sins vs my virtues.

 

[lost illusions]

If asked would you take me with you in terms of suicide would you despite the fact I want to live while also want to die?

Idk, I try be the hero too often man. I'm not good people to be around

 

[CuriousAboutThis]

Idk, I try be the hero too often man. I'm not good people to be around

Well, whatever you are going through I will say this your probably a better man than I am sure I won't CTB because I try to keep myself alive for my family and friends' sake but I don't know man not trying to seek attention I find this website more or less better than talking to therapists because I don't like them profiting off my misery sure they "can" help but it is nothing more than empty words to me since how can they get rid of suicidal thoughts by what telling me everything I want to hear or the condescending approach "how does that make you feel" being a sensitive guy is something I hate guy insecurities that toxic mascinlintiy shit fucked me up.

 

[lost illusions]

Yeah I used to mix Jake and Coca Cola but becareful with that alcohol helps your mood but also will destroy you to.

Again I am not trying to sway you away from whatever it is you are going through for I have no authority over you but if I may what is going through your mind and what is fucking with you in your life me it is just myself and suicidal thoughts from time to time and my past and my own sins vs my virtues.

Haha I'm not an alcy or a drunk. Don't really have a past. As far as my life is concerned, I have to have one to have problems

 

[lost illusions]

Well, whatever you are going through I will say this your probably a better man than I am sure I won't CTB because I try to keep myself alive for my family and friends' sake but I don't know man not trying to seek attention I find this website more or less better than talking to therapists because I don't like them profiting off my misery sure they "can" help but it is nothing more than empty words to me since how can they get rid of suicidal thoughts by what telling me everything I want to hear or the condescending approach "how does that make you feel" being a sensitive guy is something I hate guy insecurities that toxic mascinlintiy shit fucked me up.

Amen bother

 

[CuriousAboutThis]

Haha I'm not an alcy or a drunk. Don't really have a past. As far as my life is concerned, I have to have one to have problems

Meant to say mixed Jack and Coca Cola not Jake but you knew what I meant shit my past is my problem also myself and sometimes others I won't attempt suicide for a second time or CTB I'll try to live in this world unless I really want to CTB but honestly I don't know if anyone would truly want to carry it out with me family and friends don't want me to die others would say "oh if I had it my way I would just lock him in a looney bin" fuck those people they know they would never want that forced upon them.

 

[lost illusions]

Meant to say mixed Jack and Coca Cola not Jake but you knew what I meant shit my past is my problem also myself and sometimes others I won't attempt suicide for a second time or CTB I'll try to live in this world unless I really want to CTB but honestly I don't know if anyone would truly want to carry it out with me family and friends don't want me to die others would say "oh if I had it my way I would just lock him in a looney bin" fuck those people they know they would never want that forced upon them.

Traveler pt 2 stone sour

 

[CuriousAboutThis]

Traveler pt 2 stone sour

Hm, seems cryptic only you know what that means you ever wonder why we keep ourselves alive when we want to die but for some unbeknownst reason some of us can't do it?

 

[lost illusions]

Meant to say mixed Jack and Coca Cola not Jake but you knew what I meant shit my past is my problem also myself and sometimes others I won't attempt suicide for a second time or CTB I'll try to live in this world unless I really want to CTB but honestly I don't know if anyone would truly want to carry it out with me family and friends don't want me to die others would say "oh if I had it my way I would just lock him in a looney bin" fuck those people they know they would never want that forced upon them.

 

[CuriousAboutThis]

Nice, I like.