Venting im staying alive for my parents

[lattebrew]

I know I'll be missed when I die, and I'm fine with that. I just can't handle burdening my parents even after I'm dead. I don't want them to be known as the parents of a "dead girl". My feelings feel so invalid because if I was really suicidal, I'd do it without caring. My mind says one thing, but my heart says the other. I want to die so fucking badly, but at the same time, I'm filled with hope and I keep thinking of the future. It makes no sense at all..

 

[puella]

Hope is a good thing to have—especially when you're hurting so badly. I know how difficult it is to stay hopeful and try your best through everything. I'm so proud of you. Good luck.

 

[DepressedChemMajor]

I feel you, I'm in the same situation as you and I don't know what to do. I don't wanna leave my parents alone, but each day they give me a new reason to attempt suicide again. I really hope you figure it out, good luck.

 

[Sylveon]

I relate so much to this. I swear I sometimes wish my parents didn't love me as much as they do because then I wouldn't have anything or anyone holding me back from CTB (which in itself is a kinda f****d up thing to say as many people want to CTB precisely because they have... not so loving parents, to say the least).


Wish I had some hope for the future too, though.

 

[lattebrew]

Hope is a good thing to have—especially when you're hurting so badly. I know how difficult it is to stay hopeful and try your best through everything. I'm so proud of you. Good luck.

Thank you! I'm proud of you too, and good luck <3

I relate so much to this. I swear I sometimes wish my parents didn't love me as much as they do because then I wouldn't have anything or anyone holding me back from CTB (which in itself is a kinda f****d up thing to say as many people want to CTB precisely because they have... not so loving parents, to say the least).


Wish I had some hope for the future too, though.

I feel you on this. A lot of people that I know want to ctb have the shittiest parents, and I'm over here with parents that would do anything for me yet I still want to go??

I feel you, I'm in the same situation as you and I don't know what to do. I don't wanna leave my parents alone, but each day they give me a new reason to attempt suicide again. I really hope you figure it out, good luck.

I really hope you figure it out as well, and good luck with your parents ! Hopefully, things get better.

 

[Don’tDoxMe]

My thing is that I don't want my dad to find my dead body. He's already traumatized and he's a good person, he doesn't deserve that

 

[Ligottian]

I vowed to stay alive for my parents. I did. Both have been dead for 7 and 6 years respectively. Just waiting for things to become unbearable.

 

[lattebrew]

My thing is that I don't want my dad to find my dead body. He's already traumatized and he's a good person, he doesn't deserve that

this!! The last thing I need is for my mother to find me dead.

I vowed to stay alive for my parents. I did. Both have been dead for 7 and 6 years respectively. Just waiting for things to become unbearable.

I'm proud of you for making it this far

 

[Enlighten]

It's good that you have loving parents & have hope for the future. It's never too late to go through change. Might not be today'. Might not be next year. Maybe it'll be so gradual yoy won't even notice it.
Either way, i'm proud of you for holding on and i believe in you!

 

[ChangeWaiter]

Same same, my mom has been fighting for my life since I was a baby, gave up her career just to take care of me, then later it continued as my schizoaffective symptoms started showing, the manias, the depressions, and now again, more intense than ever. I'd love her to just let go, but I know she'll fight for me until the end.

 

[pxrxltx_x]

I also have loving parents. I know that being alive in itself can be hard. But I just cannot fathom of thought of ending my life if my parents are still around. I love my mother too much to do that to her, it would literally break her.