R
Raggedyandy
Member
- Mar 10, 2021
- 21
To the man I love more passionately than anyone in the world.
I'm sorry I can't get it right.
I'm sorry I keep screwing up in unforgivable ways.
I'm sorry for how horrible I've been.
I'm sorry for all the ways I've hurt you.
I don't think I can ever change your mind about me. I know you'll never see things from my perspective. I feel like such a failure for everything I've done and how trapped I feel. Everything is my fault. I caused this. I just feel so stuck and wish there were a way out. I wish I knew when it would be fair -- when the pain I feel stops being deserved. I keep vacillating between feeling like I 100% deserve everything and feeling like there's been a terrible injustice. I don't know what's real anymore. I don't know what's fair.
I just want the pain to stop.
And the second I think that, I feel bad for how selfish I am. You're the only person I feel truly close to. You're my rock, my comfort. There is no one else. And I did that to myself too. I made you my everything; that's my fault. I trapped myself. And now I have no one.
I am alone. And it's my own fault. I deserve the pain of loneliness. All I do is hurt the people around me.
If anyone is out there and would wanna talk on here, I would be so grateful right now
I'm sorry I can't get it right.
I'm sorry I keep screwing up in unforgivable ways.
I'm sorry for how horrible I've been.
I'm sorry for all the ways I've hurt you.
I don't think I can ever change your mind about me. I know you'll never see things from my perspective. I feel like such a failure for everything I've done and how trapped I feel. Everything is my fault. I caused this. I just feel so stuck and wish there were a way out. I wish I knew when it would be fair -- when the pain I feel stops being deserved. I keep vacillating between feeling like I 100% deserve everything and feeling like there's been a terrible injustice. I don't know what's real anymore. I don't know what's fair.
I just want the pain to stop.
And the second I think that, I feel bad for how selfish I am. You're the only person I feel truly close to. You're my rock, my comfort. There is no one else. And I did that to myself too. I made you my everything; that's my fault. I trapped myself. And now I have no one.
I am alone. And it's my own fault. I deserve the pain of loneliness. All I do is hurt the people around me.
If anyone is out there and would wanna talk on here, I would be so grateful right now