Venting Im sorry for my nagging

[warm dreams]

Guys, I'm so tired of being myself. I hate myself and everything connected with me. I don't deserve the right to die or complain about my life. I registered on this forum recently and I thought it would help me, because my like-minded people are here. But I read the stories of people who suffer from suicidal tendencies and I realized what a piece of shit I am.

People here are really suffering. People here have real problems that have every right to cease to exist. And I'm a fucking whiner who just suffers from depression. I have a loving family, I have a home, I have close friends. I am smart and talented enough to use this and live happily. But I don't want to live. I don't see the slightest point in existing. I fully understood the futility of existence. I am not attracted by the prospect of working all my life for the benefit of the state, even though I will be doing something interesting. I am not attracted to the prospect of being a slave to this consumer world.

I'm a fucking coward and a loser who is afraid of difficulty and pain. I don't deserve the people who use this site. I really don't have any problems. But I disappoint my family and friends time after time by being a fucking pussy who can't pull herself together. Sometimes I feel like I'm faking depression in order to engage in escapism. Sometimes I feel like depression is my excuse for my family to finance me, but I'm already 20 years old. I'm a fucking immature idiot. Excuse me.

 

[The Silly Sluggy]

People with your problems exist on this forum. What you feel isn't invalid in any way! You probably need to be here to make other people with your problems not feel alone as much as you do. Either way, I don't see any reason as to why you SHOULDN'T be here, so... Here's hoping the path gets smoother for you.

 

[warm dreams]

People with your problems exist on this forum. What you feel isn't invalid in any way! You probably need to be here to make other people with your problems not feel alone as much as you do. Either way, I don't see any reason as to why you SHOULDN'T be here, so... Here's hoping the path gets smoother for you.

Thank you so much for your words. I appreciate it.

 

[The Silly Sluggy]

Thank you so much for your words. I appreciate it.

Of course! If you need to chat with anyone about how you feel, you can reach out to me or anyone in this forum. Or make another thread, even, and anyone that responds in that thread if they're okay with it. We're all a little lost here

 

[funguy]

I feel the same way you do. I have lived such a good life and I avoid any sort of challenge. I'm just not strong enough for life and there isn't enough joy in living to justify all the effort in my opinion. For what it's worth, I think your depression is just as valid as anybody else's and you shouldn't feel guilty or ashamed about it.

 

[warm dreams]

I feel the same way you do. I have lived such a good life and I avoid any sort of challenge. I'm just not strong enough for life and there isn't enough joy in living to justify all the effort in my opinion. For what it's worth, I think your depression is just as valid as anybody else's and you shouldn't feel guilty or ashamed about it.

Thank you very much for your answer. Knowing that you are not the only one makes me feel better. ❤

 

[foxgirl]

I know exactly how you feel. It's not a competition; there's no need to compare yourself to others to see who has it worse or to invalidate your feelings just because you have a good environment. At the end of the day, we're all struggling. Sending hugs

 

[R_N]

This is not a contest so no worries. Life can be a struggle for anyone in their own ways.

I lost my health on top of other things but I don't see healthy people immune to human condition. We are all mortals and prone to suffering and pain. It is a curse of this pathetic body we are.

No shame in expressing your pain nor should you compare yourself to others. You can only be yourself and experience your own life and pains.

 

[warm dreams]

I know exactly how you feel. It's not a competition; there's no need to compare yourself to others to see who has it worse or to invalidate your feelings just because you have a good environment. At the end of the day, we're all struggling. Sending hugs

This is not a contest so no worries. Life can be a struggle for anyone in their own ways.

I lost my health on top of other things but I don't see healthy people immune to human condition. We are all mortals and prone to suffering and pain. It is a curse of this pathetic body we are.

No shame in expressing your pain nor should you compare yourself to others. You can only be yourself and experience your own life and pains.

If I had met such empathetic people as you on my life's journey, then believe me, I would never have registered on this forum. All my life I have been accompanied by devaluation of my problems by society. It definitely has an impact on me.

Thank you! I appreciate your words.

 

[FuneralCry]

I believe people should be able to vent all they want, to me feeling tired of this futile existence is always a valid way to feel. But anyway I wish you the best.