m1v
Eternal flower fields
- Feb 27, 2023
- 129
I don't want to vent, since I'll do so in a couple of hours with my psy. But goddamn, why is everything getting more & more difficult. One thing that doesn't go as planned, and I'm dead. Why am I so weak? What are these stats seriously?? Where's my def & res..
Yesterday, it's a long story but 'everything' (how I feel, my plans, my inexistent reasons to live) has been leaked to my whole family. I'm really not on good terms with my family so I'll refer to them as my housemates. My mother & two sisters. They're all aware, it feels like everyone is against me! I have no chances of winning whatsoever. I haven't left my room for awhile now (not like I ever did..) I plan on hiding until I catch the bus. There's no point in talking over it with them, I'll just dig my own grave even deeper than it already is. I don't want to lose any more freedom, I already have none, in fact, i can't even proceed with my plans, a single 'unusual' noise and it's gameover. For fuck's sake.. this may be impulsive but I can't wait any longer i think.. Going to attempt partial hanging outside tomorrow, in the storage room, will try passing out at least.That aside, what can even I do..Besides leaving? I'm open to any suggestions, I need to follow something, an idea, a plan, I can't keep wandering nowhere.
Much love everyone, thank you for reading. <3 Be well, even if it's just for today. xx
Yesterday, it's a long story but 'everything' (how I feel, my plans, my inexistent reasons to live) has been leaked to my whole family. I'm really not on good terms with my family so I'll refer to them as my housemates. My mother & two sisters. They're all aware, it feels like everyone is against me! I have no chances of winning whatsoever. I haven't left my room for awhile now (not like I ever did..) I plan on hiding until I catch the bus. There's no point in talking over it with them, I'll just dig my own grave even deeper than it already is. I don't want to lose any more freedom, I already have none, in fact, i can't even proceed with my plans, a single 'unusual' noise and it's gameover. For fuck's sake.. this may be impulsive but I can't wait any longer i think.. Going to attempt partial hanging outside tomorrow, in the storage room, will try passing out at least.That aside, what can even I do..Besides leaving? I'm open to any suggestions, I need to follow something, an idea, a plan, I can't keep wandering nowhere.
Much love everyone, thank you for reading. <3 Be well, even if it's just for today. xx
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