Venting I'm so tired

[Squiddy]

I'm so tired of everything. My eating disorder is kicking my ass and now when opening boxes or even putting things up, my bones start to hurt and sometimes my chest too. My ADHD has been kicking my ass too. My med only works about 70% of the time (it didn't work tonight unfortunately). My brain fog has also been kicking my ass and I feel like a shell of my former self. 5 years ago, I was somewhat hopeful and was planning on continuing college, but I don't see it happening anytime soon if at all. I'm starting to believe my neurologist report about potential mild cognitive impairment as it would make sense. My other disorders have been giving me hell, but I don't want to make this too long. My parents have been being emotionally unsupportive as usual. My mom basically told my siblings that my sleep isn't important and that they can scream all they want in the day time and my dad told me that a storm is coming (not an actual storm, but bad news probably saying I'll be kicked out for the thousandth time).

I really don't see a future for myself. I'm like a ticking time bomb just waiting for the day my SI lowers and I can leave.

 

[jodes2]

Sorry to hear your SI is trapping you here. Sorry about your parents and issues kicking your ass

 

[hamvil]

Sorry for all the pain you are feeling now. I can understand what it means to feel so tired of everything. I am also so so tired. A big hug to you.

 

[Hollowillow]

Hi Squiddy! I saw you when I first came & imprinted like a baby duck or something, because I'm happy to see you. Wow you're younger than me... And female? Already understanding the jaded squid. I'm sorry

Sorry to be a condesvending bitch, and I wish I knew more about your eating disorder... But your physical agony can be from nutritional deficiencies.

C for muscles, ligaments, bones, organs...

B for nerves... Without it your brain can't renew cells, that's why you're losing it. Supplements helped me get back brain functions after being hit by a car. Sleep deprivation or burning out from stress bring back my trouble talking

I've been intensely anorexic at some point. My rule was no puking. If my SI won it stayed there. I can just be patient & starve more. Puking hurts & taste awful.

The way I see it us that you can't become obese from veggies. Vitamin c is water soluble so it can't be stored in fat. It goes to make muscles & other strong stuff that don't hurt. My knee don't even hurt from a savage beating & car accident anymore. Collagen power! Great for brain & stress too.

I think I need some extra pounds in case I fet a life crisis. Nausea for months made me lose 20 pounds. If I gad been at my minimym weight ir under, i'd lose stuff I need to function. Vitamin c stuff makes you shit like mad too. Win win. I eat meat too. But I'd never count veggies as calories. Just no sauce, grains, sugars. Just fruits. To gain vitamins to be strong!!! Instead to lose... Mean men like frail losers. Porn have lame standards. But junk food too. I found a better way. Focus on nutrition. Gaining health. Power.

Eating disorders are probably to feel control... No need for punishment to feel that way. No need for deprivation. If your parents encourage it like my mom to buy gerself things while you starve... She's the ugly inside

If you're obese, Craving sugar is actually a craving for vitamin c, because in nature they're always together.

Knowledge is power. Eating can be too.

B vitamins burn energy.

I wish you the best. Be lazy, it's energy preservation & healing.

Sorry about your mean parents, society crushed them but try to give yourself a break.

 

[Squiddy]

Hi Squiddy! I saw you when I first came & imprinted like a baby duck or something, because I'm happy to see you. Wow you're younger than me... And female? Already understanding the jaded squid. I'm sorry

Sorry to be a condesvending bitch, and I wish I knew more about your eating disorder... But your physical agony can be from nutritional deficiencies.

C for muscles, ligaments, bones, organs...

B for nerves... Without it your brain can't renew cells, that's why you're losing it. Supplements helped me get back brain functions after being hit by a car. Sleep deprivation or burning out from stress bring back my trouble talking

I've been intensely anorexic at some point. My rule was no puking. If my SI won it stayed there. I can just be patient & starve more. Puking hurts & taste awful.

The way I see it us that you can't become obese from veggies. Vitamin c is water soluble so it can't be stored in fat. It goes to make muscles & other strong stuff that don't hurt. My knee don't even hurt from a savage beating & car accident anymore. Collagen power! Great for brain & stress too.

I think I need some extra pounds in case I fet a life crisis. Nausea for months made me lose 20 pounds. If I gad been at my minimym weight ir under, i'd lose stuff I need to function. Vitamin c stuff makes you shit like mad too. Win win. I eat meat too. But I'd never count veggies as calories. Just no sauce, grains, sugars. Just fruits. To gain vitamins to be strong!!! Instead to lose... Mean men like frail losers. Porn have lame standards. But junk food too. I found a better way. Focus on nutrition. Gaining health. Power.

Eating disorders are probably to feel control... No need for punishment to feel that way. No need for deprivation. If your parents encourage it like my mom to buy gerself things while you starve... She's the ugly inside

If you're obese, Craving sugar is actually a craving for vitamin c, because in nature they're always together.

Knowledge is power. Eating can be too.

B vitamins burn energy.

I wish you the best. Be lazy, it's energy preservation & healing.

Sorry about your mean parents, society crushed them but try to give yourself a break.

My cognitive issues started before my eating disorder, but I have noticed it worsening a bit

I used to purge, but haven't in a few months (though I did try a few days ago and nothing came out). I remember one day where my mom made dinner and she told me not to eat it if I was just going to purge it. I ended up quietly purging afterwards.

I used to be obese 2 years ago, but have lost a ton and am about 10 pounds from being underweight.

I hope that you're able to beat your eating disorder ❤

I'm gonna try to eat more today

 

[FuneralCry]

It sounds like you are suffering a lot, it really is such a cruel life and it's understandable as to why you would be so tired. Life does just seem to be endless problems and misery. I wish you the best.

 

[not-2-b-the-answer]

Hi squiddy,
Sorry things have gotten worse. Seems like we've been here forever. I probably even have said this before.
Just seems like an endless loop of misery. I'm still happy you're still with us.
At a loss why things just get worse. Every time I think I've hit rock bottom it collapses and I fall further.
The brain fog really sucks can't focus. I know how you feel.
Only so much one can take.

 

[Hollowillow]

My cognitive issues started before my eating disorder, but I have noticed it worsening a bit

I used to purge, but haven't in a few months (though I did try a few days ago and nothing came out). I remember one day where my mom made dinner and she told me not to eat it if I was just going to purge it. I ended up quietly purging afterwards.

I used to be obese 2 years ago, but have lost a ton and am about 10 pounds from being underweight.

I hope that you're able to beat your eating disorder ❤

I'm gonna try to eat more today

Thank you for sharing. I think I beat anorexia about shame, but I forget to eat. Lately it's from nausea, chemical taste & pain... And just no longer seeing the point of living

 

[Squiddy]

It sounds like you are suffering a lot, it really is such a cruel life and it's understandable as to why you would be so tired. Life does just seem to be endless problems and misery. I wish you the best.

Thanks :)

Hi squiddy,
Sorry things have gotten worse. Seems like we've been here forever. I probably even have said this before.
Just seems like an endless loop of misery. I'm still happy you're still with us.
At a loss why things just get worse. Every time I think I've hit rock bottom it collapses and I fall further.
The brain fog really sucks can't focus. I know how you feel.
Only so much one can take.

I'm happy you're still here too and I hope things get better for you

Thank you for sharing. I think I beat anorexia about shame, but I forget to eat. Lately it's from nausea, chemical taste & pain... And just no longer seeing the point of living

I hope you're able to fully beat it. Mine has been kicking my ass. I tried to eat a lot yesterday, but I stepped on the scale earlier today and it said I lost another pound :(

 

[Hollowillow]

Thanks :)


I'm happy you're still here too and I hope things get better for you


I hope you're able to fully beat it. Mine has been kicking my ass. I tried to eat a lot yesterday, but I stepped on the scale earlier today and it said I lost another pound :(

If you eat but lose weight it doesn't seem like anorexia. Some health issues cause absorbtion problems... Celiac? Gluten destroys the gut so it can't absorb? God forbid... a tape worm... My poisonning seem to do that... But probably by taking away my ability to eat. I found cookies & allowed them! I reached 120 pounds... lost 22 pounds from veing too sick to eat... 5 more to go into being underweight... Never been less than 115... The air is so metallic acid right now... I hope it will stop... My eyes hurt so much I can barely see. I'm in hell, was my fault cleaning too much the wrong way... No ine believe me, probably do gaslight on purpose by laziness... So many people hate me. I like you. I hope you'll feel better.

 

[Squiddy]

If you eat but lose weight it doesn't seem like anorexia. Some health issues cause absorbtion problems... Celiac? Gluten destroys the gut so it can't absorb? God forbid... a tape worm... My poisonning seem to do that... But probably by taking away my ability to eat. I found cookies & allowed them! I reached 120 pounds... lost 22 pounds from veing too sick to eat... 5 more to go into being underweight... Never been less than 115... The air is so metallic acid right now... I hope it will stop... My eyes hurt so much I can barely see. I'm in hell, was my fault cleaning too much the wrong way... No ine believe me, probably do gaslight on purpose by laziness... So many people hate me. I like you. I hope you'll feel better.

I was doing it to lose weight, but then tried to eat more and still lost

That sounds painful, I'm sorry

 

[ForbiddenSiren]

Sounds rough. Hope things work out for you :( can relate to eating disorders. Food is super weird. You are strong as fuck for still going to work while going through all of these struggles. Take care friend🖒

 

[Squiddy]

Sounds rough. Hope things work out for you :( can relate to eating disorders. Food is super weird. You are strong as fuck for still going to work while going through all of these struggles. Take care friend🖒

Thanks and I'm sorry you can also relate. I hope things get better for you