imsotired005
Member
- Dec 25, 2024
- 13
I hate this. I told myself I can make it better I have a list of what I need to get done. I hate this disorder and I hate that any trigger sends me straight into ideations.
its so dumb my trigger is from someone I love. The last time I got heavy ideations I distanced from him by a sliver and have been ignored (we literally live together so stonewalled to my face) ever since. He texts me this morning to "enjoy" everytime he does that he is placing accusations on me that im bringing someone over, I am not. I have no friends. I have absolutely no will to socialize in person right now, I have no will to do anything.
I tried to get him to communicate
, redundant I know. He immediately follows up with "I'll just pack my things no big deal" and I hate how it feels like he uses that as a weapon on me I feel like I'm going to make impulsive decisions on my own life because im just so tired. I dont feel worth anything I dont see the point in fixing my life if its going to feel so empty. I know he has to leave for me to get better but I at least want to feel like there was a foundation built first which was why I made that list.
just the audacity to me... I dont know I feel like I have the worst reasons to want to go, at least priorities in why I want to go. I feel so numb at this point I can only cry when hes around me and ignoring me. other than that I sit and stare at my ceiling all day waiting for him to come back so I can at least see him.
its so dumb my trigger is from someone I love. The last time I got heavy ideations I distanced from him by a sliver and have been ignored (we literally live together so stonewalled to my face) ever since. He texts me this morning to "enjoy" everytime he does that he is placing accusations on me that im bringing someone over, I am not. I have no friends. I have absolutely no will to socialize in person right now, I have no will to do anything.
I tried to get him to communicate
, redundant I know. He immediately follows up with "I'll just pack my things no big deal" and I hate how it feels like he uses that as a weapon on me I feel like I'm going to make impulsive decisions on my own life because im just so tired. I dont feel worth anything I dont see the point in fixing my life if its going to feel so empty. I know he has to leave for me to get better but I at least want to feel like there was a foundation built first which was why I made that list.
just the audacity to me... I dont know I feel like I have the worst reasons to want to go, at least priorities in why I want to go. I feel so numb at this point I can only cry when hes around me and ignoring me. other than that I sit and stare at my ceiling all day waiting for him to come back so I can at least see him.
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