I'm so tired. I'm not sure yet if I really wanna do it.

[Sadness20]

I'm really tired. If I do it, I need some way to do it impulsively without having to plan for days otherwise I probably won't do it. If I do it impulsively I don't think the SI will be a great hindrance. I just hate myself pretty bad, I feel like I'm a pretty bad person.

 

[StarCaller'sStaff]

Bad people don't stress over thinking they are bad people, they're either content with being bad or don't even see themselves as bad to begin with. You are not a bad person, you are most likely hurt, to the extent that you feel underserving of happiness, but that's not true. You deserve to be loved, and you deserve to be happy.
Suicide is the final escape, it's something you do when literally everything else fails. Really, really think about whether you truly want to end your life or not, do not do it impulsively. Thank you for being alive up until now

 

[Sadness20]

Bad people don't stress over thinking they are bad people, they're either content with being bad or don't even see themselves as bad to begin with. You are not a bad person, you are most likely hurt, to the extent that you feel underserving of happiness, but that's not true. You deserve to be loved, and you deserve to be happy.
Suicide is the final escape, it's something you do when literally everything else fails. Really, really think about whether you truly want to end your life or not, do not do it impulsively. Thank you for being alive up until now

I'm so tired.

 

[StarCaller'sStaff]

I'm so tired.

I understand that. I understand that very well.

 

[BlueberrySylv]

I'm so tired.

life is really horrible...unfair and, to be frank shit too.
I understand that feeling of tiredness, going through so much and everything for. what right.
but hey don't worry you're loved and are a good person, you're important and you matter as well.
don't push yourself too much on this.

ctb is really...hard, and it must be known that if you really do it impulsively then you might have regrets. things that you might still want and haven't had yet.
so if I had to say it myself, just chose your method and...wait, until your 100% sure. and know that it's really really what you want

 

[OptingOutSmiling]

I don't think you are a bad person, please don't think that. Self hate is normal, not healthy I guess, but normal and especially if we tired. I hope you can find a way to rest, or even break away somewhere rather than doing something impulsive. Sending you love.

 

[astr4]

i'm really sorry. our brains are so confusing and it's so strange how despite so much suffering, some small silly part of ourselves still feels hope for things to be different. i guess that's the SI at work.

the one thought i always find reassuring is that death will always be there whether we like it or not. if things get any worse, more than you can handle, you have a way out. and if things get better, again, it's there as a backup plan. i think if you're still feeling undecided and like you have to do it impulsively, it's probably a sign you're not fully ready yet, and that's okay, death will always be there waiting for whenever you really are ready. it's okay to not force yourself into anything.

 

[eternallyluna]

the one thought i always find reassuring is that death will always be there whether we like it or not. if things get any worse, more than you can handle, you have a way out. and if things get better, again, it's there as a backup plan.

This might be the only thing in the world that brings me true comfort.

The cycle is exhausting though, you know? Like things will get better for a bit and then boom you're right back in the hole.

It's so draining both physically and mentally.