wastingpotential
drowning, always.
- Feb 8, 2023
- 167
it's like every time i made even a slight update of my life on here the next day it would come crashing down 10x worse. i feel so stuck. i have no future.
and the worst part about it all is the people i'm meant to have entrusted with my entire life can see right through me and my pain and the wounds on my body and they'll just leave me be because who am i if not damaged and smothered in tear streaks and a puffy face? a happier version of me doesn't exists and this is all everyone is used to and most times it means they feel no remorse in taking advantage because, surely i can't feel worse than i already do.
i wish i had tried harder at leaving this world two years ago alongside my cats, part of me feels like maybe i did die back then, and this is all just hell now.
if it somehow isn't, i don't think i'm scared at the chance of going to hell anymore
and the worst part about it all is the people i'm meant to have entrusted with my entire life can see right through me and my pain and the wounds on my body and they'll just leave me be because who am i if not damaged and smothered in tear streaks and a puffy face? a happier version of me doesn't exists and this is all everyone is used to and most times it means they feel no remorse in taking advantage because, surely i can't feel worse than i already do.
i wish i had tried harder at leaving this world two years ago alongside my cats, part of me feels like maybe i did die back then, and this is all just hell now.
if it somehow isn't, i don't think i'm scared at the chance of going to hell anymore
