I'm so lonely and I feel like it's killing me

[Kadaver]

I have one good friend who means the world to me, but I'm so dependent on him that it's smothering and pushing him away. He's suggested making new friends but that's something that's particularly difficult for me.

All I want is a romantic relationship and this ache is making me want to ctb. I look compulsively at personals on specific Reddit forums where people post looking for their person. I feel like no one is looking for me though. I feel like I'm just not what anyone wants.

I've even made a few posts myself looking for my person with no results. I feel so fucking lonely that I wish I had the courage to ctb. I don't even want to SH. I just want to disappear

 

[FuneralCry]

I do understand that loneliness really can be so painful for so many who exist here, it's cruel how people suffer, to me it's certainly understandable just wishing to disappear. But anyway best wishes.

 

[ThisUnrest]

Im so sorry you feel so horribly lonely. I know it's very painful. I hope your friend can be more understanding. It can be really hard to meet new people.

 

[Kadaver]

He's very understanding. He's the best friend I've ever had. That's why I just wish social interaction was a little easier for me. Maybe then it would be easier making friends

 

[Anikah]

I was very dependant on others for a long time, it gets better usually but it takes time, now I mostly just exist in the shadows and others are the ones smothering me

 

[brokeandbroken]

I have one good friend who means the world to me, but I'm so dependent on him that it's smothering and pushing him away. He's suggested making new friends but that's something that's particularly difficult for me.

All I want is a romantic relationship and this ache is making me want to ctb. I look compulsively at personals on specific Reddit forums where people post looking for their person. I feel like no one is looking for me though. I feel like I'm just not what anyone wants.

I've even made a few posts myself looking for my person with no results. I feel so fucking lonely that I wish I had the courage to ctb. I don't even want to SH. I just want to disappear

You aren't alone. This seems to a recurring theme in today's world. I am sorry you feel that way. It's tragic that people are more disconnected from each other then ever before. I hope you find what you are looking for.

 

[edu0z]

I have one good friend who means the world to me, but I'm so dependent on him that it's smothering and pushing him away. He's suggested making new friends but that's something that's particularly difficult for me.

All I want is a romantic relationship and this ache is making me want to ctb. I look compulsively at personals on specific Reddit forums where people post looking for their person. I feel like no one is looking for me though. I feel like I'm just not what anyone wants.

I've even made a few posts myself looking for my person with no results. I feel so fucking lonely that I wish I had the courage to ctb. I don't even want to SH. I just want to disappear

I don't know you completely, but you seem like a nice person who's just been through some rough stuff for a while and thats made it hard for you to open up to new people and to create dependencies... you can PM me if you want to talk.

 

[Sarros]

I found the relationship I thought I was looking for. Looking for so long, they were my first. But I wanted them to be someone they weren't. Romantic, physical, sexual. I never knew how much I'd want those qualities. I thought just loving someone would be enough. I...disgust myself.

 

[Kadaver]

I found the relationship I thought I was looking for. Looking for so long, they were my first. But I wanted them to be someone they weren't. Romantic, physical, sexual. I never knew how much I'd want those qualities. I thought just loving someone would be enough. I...disgust myself.

I'm so sorry.

I had something similar a while ago. I found someone who made me feel like myself in the best way possible. But he didn't feel the same and now he's just ghosting me. It makes me feel so worthless

 

[endless-void]

I have one good friend who means the world to me, but I'm so dependent on him that it's smothering and pushing him away. He's suggested making new friends but that's something that's particularly difficult for me.

All I want is a romantic relationship and this ache is making me want to ctb. I look compulsively at personals on specific Reddit forums where people post looking for their person. I feel like no one is looking for me though. I feel like I'm just not what anyone wants.

I've even made a few posts myself looking for my person with no results. I feel so fucking lonely that I wish I had the courage to ctb. I don't even want to SH. I just want to disappear

I was just about to write the same thing when I came across your post. It's even worse when no one around you can understand how bad it feels to feel alone. It gets to a point where hugs feel like nothing because I feel like it's out of pity, not love. It's been so long I don't feel loved I don't think I'll ever feel that again. I am so afraid I'll find someone to love, because I forgot how to. I forgot how to give words of encouragement, how to kiss, how to please or how be happy around someone. God I can't even please myself. I can't even make myself happy. I don't even know if I deserve it, but I crave intimacy. I just want to feel the true and unconditional warmth of someone. It's even worse when you're nothing. Not handsome, not smart, too depressed to be funny, to depressed to care. No one would like to be with someone like that and I understand it but God does it kill you to say hey, how are you? This has been happening to me since I was pretty young, so I would make friends online but I can't even do that anymore. I'm not keen on anything. I have no hobbies or any healthy behavior. I'm just a waste of space at this point. No one seems to notice me yet everyone gets annoyed by my presence. How the hell does that work? I'm not my friend's friend, I'm not a good son or brother, I'm not a good student and I'm not a good person. I'm nothing. I just want to be something to someone. If I was then maybe I'd feel alright. I feel like a ghost and if life just keeps torturing me why am I still alive? I feel like this is going to be the death of me.

 

[RosySunsets]

I was just about to write the same thing when I came across your post. It's even worse when no one around you can understand how bad it feels to feel alone. It gets to a point where hugs feel like nothing because I feel like it's out of pity, not love. It's been so long I don't feel loved I don't think I'll ever feel that again. I am so afraid I'll find someone to love, because I forgot how to. I forgot how to give words of encouragement, how to kiss, how to please or how be happy around someone. God I can't even please myself. I can't even make myself happy. I don't even know if I deserve it, but I crave intimacy. I just want to feel the true and unconditional warmth of someone. It's even worse when you're nothing. Not handsome, not smart, too depressed to be funny, to depressed to care. No one would like to be with someone like that and I understand it but God does it kill you to say hey, how are you? This has been happening to me since I was pretty young, so I would make friends online but I can't even do that anymore. I'm not keen on anything. I have no hobbies or any healthy behavior. I'm just a waste of space at this point. No one seems to notice me yet everyone gets annoyed by my presence. How the hell does that work? I'm not my friend's friend, I'm not a good son or brother, I'm not a good student and I'm not a good person. I'm nothing. I just want to be something to someone. If I was then maybe I'd feel alright. I feel like a ghost and if life just keeps torturing me why am I still alive? I feel like this is going to be the death of me.

Hi, I know you said you're not really keen on making friends online anymore but I wouldn't mind occasionally checking in on you if you're comfortable with that. Feel free to pm me anytime if you would like to, I hope things work out eventually

 

[lotus11]

I don't know what to say apart from I'm in the same boat. Never been more lonely in my life than right now. Just been ghosted by someone I fell in love with. I am a woman in my 30s. Everybody I know is in a couple, married l, has kids and I know that it is just going to be too late for me. Now I don't have time or energy or hope to fall in love again.I have always been alone. I'm just one of those people that isn't really liked. I'm too much, too difficult to love.

 

[Enlighten]

I have one good friend who means the world to me, but I'm so dependent on him that it's smothering and pushing him away. He's suggested making new friends but that's something that's particularly difficult for me.

All I want is a romantic relationship and this ache is making me want to ctb. I look compulsively at personals on specific Reddit forums where people post looking for their person. I feel like no one is looking for me though. I feel like I'm just not what anyone wants.

I've even made a few posts myself looking for my person with no results. I feel so fucking lonely that I wish I had the courage to ctb. I don't even want to SH. I just want to disappear

Hey OP, i'd love to be your friend <3. Finding love is a difficult thing indeed. At the end of the day, it's mostly how you look and what value you bring to the table. If you're doing bad on those fronts, you won't have too many options. One can only try to get better.

I don't know what to say apart from I'm in the same boat. Never been more lonely in my life than right now. Just been ghosted by someone I fell in love with. I am a woman in my 30s. Everybody I know is in a couple, married l, has kids and I know that it is just going to be too late for me. Now I don't have time or energy or hope to fall in love again.I have always been alone. I'm just one of those people that isn't really liked. I'm too much, too difficult to love.

I would love to talk with you aswell. It's never too late <3

 

[Kadaver]

Hey OP, i'd love to be your friend <3. Finding love is a difficult thing indeed. At the end of the day, it's mostly how you look and what value you bring to the table. If you're doing bad on those fronts, you won't have too many options. One can only try to get better.

I would love to talk with you aswell. It's never too late <3

I'm sorry I didn't see this sooner. I'm definitely down to chat of you are! New Friends are always nice. I am a bit socially awkward though, just a warning
I hope your having a good day

 

[tiger b]

Well I'm sorry you feel lonely. Unless you're incredibly lucky, finding decent quality and respectful romantic love is a long, difficult journey which will always involve persistence and luck - in my opinion! I hope you find what you're looking for.

Looking at your Tumblr, you seem to be a very good writer...is that Doki Doki Literature Club I see?? Man, that was dark, hit me like a sack of bricks.

Best wishes.

 

[Kadaver]

Well I'm sorry you feel lonely. Unless you're incredibly lucky, finding decent quality and respectful romantic love is a long, difficult journey which will always involve persistence and luck - in my opinion! I hope you find what you're looking for.

Looking at your Tumblr, you seem to be a very good writer...is that Doki Doki Literature Club I see?? Man, that was dark, hit me like a sack of bricks.

Best wishes.

I know finding a lasting love is hard but that's not even necessarily what I want. I just want to date someone and love them for awhile. It doesn't even have to last forever.

Thank you, I'm glad you think so. It is Doki Doki! It's Yuri!

 

[tiger b]

Well what is forever anyway...but good on you. It's nice you talk about loving them rather than first of all what they could do for you.

Yuri? Let me see...I can't remember. There was Monica and Monica...and Monica...and Monica. JUST MONICA lol

 

[IWishToDie]

I have one good friend who means the world to me, but I'm so dependent on him that it's smothering and pushing him away. He's suggested making new friends but that's something that's particularly difficult for me.

All I want is a romantic relationship and this ache is making me want to ctb. I look compulsively at personals on specific Reddit forums where people post looking for their person. I feel like no one is looking for me though. I feel like I'm just not what anyone wants.

I've even made a few posts myself looking for my person with no results. I feel so fucking lonely that I wish I had the courage to ctb. I don't even want to SH. I just want to disappear

I just can't stand music outside of https://chillstep.info

Every bloody song is about love, romance. It's soul crushing.