F

Forever Sleep

Earned it we have...
May 4, 2022
8,842
I feel relieved for you. I can't help but find it appalling though that life is so bad for some of us that we feel so excited at the prospect of being rid of it! It's understandable of course but I wish the people that hold power in this world- would be parents, politicians could see and acknowledge this. If this isn't demonstrative that this world is a living hell for some people- I don't know what would get through to them. If I'm honest- I hope they feel embarassed by it but I don't expect they're capable of that. I imagine those sorts at the very top are sociopaths/ narcissists. Maybe the odd psychopath too. I hope you find your freedom though. Sorry life has clearly been so unfair for you.
 
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throneofdispair03

throneofdispair03

is a mistake
Jan 10, 2024
236
godspeed, my friend.
 
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Noc

Noc

Member
Jan 6, 2024
32
I understand why you'd feel so relieved to have a way to voluntarily leave this existence, I wish you the best and I hope that you find the freedom you search f
I feel relieved for you. I can't help but find it appalling though that life is so bad for some of us that we feel so excited at the prospect of being rid of it! It's understandable of course but I wish the people that hold power in this world- would be parents, politicians could see and acknowledge this. If this isn't demonstrative that this world is a living hell for some people- I don't know what would get through to them. If I'm honest- I hope they feel embarassed by it but I don't expect they're capable of that. I imagine those sorts at the very top are sociopaths/ narcissists. Maybe the odd psychopath too. I hope you find your freedom though. Sorry life has clearly been so unfair for you.
Just like you said. The anwser is that ppl don't care btw. Also, when I die, all of those who traumatized me will simply go on with their lives, like they didn't destroy people and bring them to the end point. No one except for maybe you guys here will know my story and I'll never get justice. That's how it is with most people who suicide I believe.
 
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Illegal Preclear

Illegal Preclear

The CEO of CTB
Sep 6, 2022
218
I want to get to where you are mentally so bad. Even if you handed me SN right now I'd be too afraid, just because I've never attempted CTB before and I don't know what SI REALLY kicking in is like. I don't know why humans don't just have a switch to turn SI off (obviously because that's now how life or evolution works, but it'd be nice). I'd feel the way you did if you handed my a firearm, because it's the ultimate INSTANTANEOUS, no thought build-up required way of doing it. But at the same time, peacefully drifting off in my bed in my 'sanctuary' aka my room with SN (which from what I understand is supposed to be near-painless)? Sounds so blissfully peaceful. I just hope I can get to that ecstatic place of ABOLUTE SURETY and suppression of SI that I'm hearing from you right now.

Just like you said. The anwser is that ppl don't care btw. Also, when I die, all of those who traumatized me will simply go on with their lives, like they didn't destroy people and bring them to the end point. No one except for maybe you guys here will know my story and I'll never get justice. That's how it is with most people who suicide I believe.

I've had to deal with my best friend CTBing before me in 2015 so I've already gone through myself what guilt-trippers try and put on us with that 'THINK OF THE PEOPLE YOU'LL LEAVE BEHIND' nonsense. They'll move on. Even the most empathic will move on, and those on the other side of that spectrum won't be phased. When I think about my best friend, I just think about how hard I WISH I could have the courage he did and how much better off he is than me now.
 
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Noc

Noc

Member
Jan 6, 2024
32
I want to get to where you are mentally so bad. Even if you handed me SN right now I'd be too afraid, just because I've never attempted CTB before and I don't know what SI REALLY kicking in is like. I don't know why humans don't just have a switch to turn SI off (obviously because that's now how life or evolution works, but it'd be nice). I'd feel the way you did if you handed my a firearm, because it's the ultimate INSTANTANEOUS, no thought build-up required way of doing it. But at the same time, peacefully drifting off in my bed in my 'sanctuary' aka my room with SN (which from what I understand is supposed to be near-painless)? Sounds so blissfully peaceful. I just hope I can get to that ecstatic place of ABOLUTE SURETY and suppression of SI that I'm hearing from you right now.



I've had to deal with my best friend CTBing before me in 2015 so I've already gone through myself what guilt-trippers try and put on us with that 'THINK OF THE PEOPLE YOU'LL LEAVE BEHIND' nonsense. They'll move on. Even the most empathic will move on, and those on the other side of that spectrum won't be phased. When I think about my best friend, I just think about how hard I WISH I could have the courage he did and how much better off he is than me now.
Oh honey idk where I said that I suppressed my SI or why you think so. I'm afraid of the useless SI kicking in. Today I went from crying of happiness to looking and my cat and crying of some kind of fear. There's def some uncertainty, fear of something unknown, I haven't tried with sn before so I have no clue what will happen. I can only hope for SI to leave.
 
Illegal Preclear

Illegal Preclear

The CEO of CTB
Sep 6, 2022
218
Oh honey idk where I said that I suppressed my SI or why you think so. I'm afraid of the useless SI kicking in. Today I went from crying of happiness to looking and my cat and crying of some kind of fear. There's def some uncertainty, fear of something unknown, I haven't tried with sn before so I have no clue what will happen. I can only hope for SI to leave.
I wasn't referring to you in terms of suppressing SI, I was referring to the OP. In their complete euphoria they sound like they have that crap totally suppressed and I was saying I WISH I could put my fear behind me and get to that point.
 
ijustwishtodie

ijustwishtodie

death will be my ultimate bliss
Oct 29, 2023
4,244
I wish you find your peace at long last. Best of luck
 
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