Venting i'm so fucking tired of people giving me platitudes instead of genuine love and support

[bitofftoomuch]

it is so fucking exhausting the way people's brains are melted by capitalism and the rat race and they think every problem I have can be solved with a pep talk.

the way people have this attitude of "damn that's crazy, better fix yourself if you want to keep associating with me" is so fucking ass backwards. I can't pour from a fucking empty cup. I need people to love and support me so that I can recover; it doesn't work in reverse! When every day you're going home to a cold lonely existence it doesn't fucking matter what sort of silly life hacks or strategies people give you. Self care has its limits in utility. At a certain point i am too exhausted to do the 900 things I'm supposed to do.

And this all is apparently taboo to say? But every fucking happy person I know has loved ones they can count on. I want to shake these fuckers for the way they take this for granted. The way they assume they're some kind of special being for being able to do more than us who are alone; so many would do worse than me if placed in the same circumstances. And the thing is I don't care! I don't have any interest in being better than others I just want everyone equal. I want to live in a world where people give a flying fuck about my needs simply because I am a person; not this shithole society where everyone who isn't born into happiness has to work tirelessly to prove themselves worthy of love and basic needs.

I see so many people on this forum full of self loathing and full of "I'm the worst" for situations that aren't their fault and it PISSES ME OFF. The way the victim-blaming is so pervasive that most people who are struggling have internalized it. the way we don't talk enough about the shitty people who are actually to blame. The fact that the only socially acceptable way for me to talk about my hardships is to basically fucking apologize for them when it's society that failed me and not vice versa. The high rates of suicide we're seeing these days are caused by social murder and it's so fucking warped the way many people have bought into the narrative that it's the suiciders themselves who are to blame rather than the cruel system that caused all of the actual damage that made them suicidal.

So yeah it's just the cruel cherry on top when my own friends seem more keen to say whatever will make me shut up than to spend time helping me heal. when the shoe was on the other foot I worked so damn hard to make sunshine for friends who were on the brink of CTBing. and i just wish everyone who could do that, did do that.

 

[Alexei_Kirillov]

Preach, couldn't have said it better myself. Like I get that dealing with suicidal/depressed people can be exhausting and burdensome, but if that's the case, then just level with us and be honest instead of spouting off platitudes and then still having the audacity to claim that "I'm here for you" ,"let me know if you want to talk" etc.

 

[pyx]

pretty much spot on. if you aren't properly integrated into society, you will lack a robust support network. you're then bound to fall through the cracks and be met with indifference and apathy. why must we work so hard for basic liberties?

 

[bitofftoomuch]

Preach, couldn't have said it better myself. Like I get that dealing with suicidal/depressed people can be exhausting and burdensome, but if that's the case, then just level with us and be honest instead of spouting gff platitudes and then still having the audacity to claim that "I'm here for you" ,"let me know if you want to talk" etc.

And the thing is it doesn't need to be hard and can actually be quite easy if both parties set and respect boundaries + limits. People need to, as you allude to, tell others what their limit is instead of paying lipservice and then going back on it. It's easy to respect a limit when it's clear and that makes spending time together easy to manage. But if instead the suicidal person doesn't know the rules that's how you wind up with a mess.

I used to let suicidal friends crash in my living room (still will in fact, just don't currently have any local suicidal friends). I'd go about my day and maybe wind down watching a movie or show with them. They agreed to not go on negative rants that I didn't have the spoons to listen to, and i agreed not to stick them in a hospital. It was honestly a positive experience for both of us. I've also had good friends of mine in the past figured out I could briefly state my pain and then enjoy a night out with them after very brief comforting. One need only be honest and then hang out with us like we're normal people. brief and tiny but solid reassurance goes so much farther than rambly bullshit.

 

[divinemistress36]

The cold hard truth is we are on our own in this world

 

[-Link-]

the way people have this attitude of "damn that's crazy, better fix yourself if you want to keep associating with me" is so fucking ass backwards.

Thank you for the lol...

I know you didn't mean this comedically in any way, but I was just picturing somebody actually speaking these words instead of the usual go-to platitudes...

(at least it would be honest?...........)

 

[Reflection]

Preach, couldn't have said it better myself. Like I get that dealing with suicidal/depressed people can be exhausting and burdensome, but if that's the case, then just level with us and be honest instead of spouting off platitudes and then still having the audacity to claim that "I'm here for you" ,"let me know if you want to talk" etc.

One thing I can give my ex credits for is how brutally honest she is; she really lets me know that she doesn't give a fuck about me and that I'm on my own. And while I think she's usually so cruel towards me after she left I can't help but respect that somehow.

 

[Alexei_Kirillov]

And the thing is it doesn't need to be hard and can actually be quite easy if both parties set and respect boundaries + limits. People need to, as you allude to, tell others what their limit is instead of paying lipservice and then going back on it. It's easy to respect a limit when it's clear and that makes spending time together easy to manage. But if instead the suicidal person doesn't know the rules that's how you wind up with a mess.

I used to let suicidal friends crash in my living room (still will in fact, just don't currently have any local suicidal friends). I'd go about my day and maybe wind down watching a movie or show with them. They agreed to not go on negative rants that I didn't have the spoons to listen to, and i agreed not to stick them in a hospital. It was honestly a positive experience for both of us. I've also had good friends of mine in the past figured out I could briefly state my pain and then enjoy a night out with them after very brief comforting. One need only be honest and then hang out with us like we're normal people. brief and tiny but solid reassurance goes so much farther than rambly bullshit.

You're an awesome friend, that kind of thing is literally exactly what I needed -- just the physical presence of another person (who I don't have to mask around).

 

[AliceTheGoon]

But every fucking happy person I know has loved ones they can count on.

That's an interesting thought. I was happiest when I could be counted on. One of the worst things about losing my health is the feeling that I've let people down.

 

[Ichigo]

below a system that is so callous and inherently anti-human such as this one, youre damn lucky if youre happy. A small few are fortunate enough to reign at the very top of the pile, while many stay forever at the bottom. Down here is rough. down here It is a challenging battlefield. Our judgement is clouded by propaganda that has been fed us to since we were a child and ancient primitive instincts carved out by evolution. Discussions about societal problems and the slowly decaying fabric of society are Regulated to the small corners of the internet. these small corners are becoming increasingly smaller and more spread out as the google corporation continues its monopolization of the last free land, the internet.

 

[Adûnâi]

So yeah it's just the cruel cherry on top when my own friends seem more keen to say whatever will make me shut up than to spend time helping me heal. when the shoe was on the other foot I worked so damn hard to make sunshine for friends who were on the brink of CTBing. and i just wish everyone who could do that, did do that.

Getting cucked because no reciprocity, yay!

the way people have this attitude of "damn that's crazy, better fix yourself if you want to keep associating with me" is so fucking ass backwards.

I'm really close to sinning this myself right now, because my future gf is sending my fetish things to her 40+ yo taxi driver and that's just way too much. But I've been at it for 7 months now, so I'm probably not like this.

I used to let suicidal friends crash in my living room (still will in fact, just don't currently have any local suicidal friends). I'd go about my day and maybe wind down watching a movie or show with them. They agreed to not go on negative rants that I didn't have the spoons to listen to, and i agreed not to stick them in a hospital.

Both ideas are so weird and incomprehensible though. Imagine not listening to someone's problems. And imagine referring to mental asylums where people get lobotomised and drugged and raped and restrained as "hospitals". Yuck. (I'm not attacking you, I'm sleepy, goodbye.)

 

[bitofftoomuch]

You're an awesome friend, that kind of thing is literally exactly what I needed -- just the physical presence of another person (who I don't have to mask around).

Feel free to dm me. My presence here is highly streaky and my poor EF's means I don't always check everything so I can't guarantee a prompt response but I'll look for your message.

 

[-nobodyknows-]

I feel somewhat similarly, but in my situation I don't really blame them for it because I am sure they would stay with me if they could. I imagine that hearing about how I feel like I should ctb is too much for most people to handle.