bitofftoomuch
hold onto those who accept your messy self
- Jul 1, 2024
- 60
it is so fucking exhausting the way people's brains are melted by capitalism and the rat race and they think every problem I have can be solved with a pep talk.
the way people have this attitude of "damn that's crazy, better fix yourself if you want to keep associating with me" is so fucking ass backwards. I can't pour from a fucking empty cup. I need people to love and support me so that I can recover; it doesn't work in reverse! When every day you're going home to a cold lonely existence it doesn't fucking matter what sort of silly life hacks or strategies people give you. Self care has its limits in utility. At a certain point i am too exhausted to do the 900 things I'm supposed to do.
And this all is apparently taboo to say? But every fucking happy person I know has loved ones they can count on. I want to shake these fuckers for the way they take this for granted. The way they assume they're some kind of special being for being able to do more than us who are alone; so many would do worse than me if placed in the same circumstances. And the thing is I don't care! I don't have any interest in being better than others I just want everyone equal. I want to live in a world where people give a flying fuck about my needs simply because I am a person; not this shithole society where everyone who isn't born into happiness has to work tirelessly to prove themselves worthy of love and basic needs.
I see so many people on this forum full of self loathing and full of "I'm the worst" for situations that aren't their fault and it PISSES ME OFF. The way the victim-blaming is so pervasive that most people who are struggling have internalized it. the way we don't talk enough about the shitty people who are actually to blame. The fact that the only socially acceptable way for me to talk about my hardships is to basically fucking apologize for them when it's society that failed me and not vice versa. The high rates of suicide we're seeing these days are caused by social murder and it's so fucking warped the way many people have bought into the narrative that it's the suiciders themselves who are to blame rather than the cruel system that caused all of the actual damage that made them suicidal.
So yeah it's just the cruel cherry on top when my own friends seem more keen to say whatever will make me shut up than to spend time helping me heal. when the shoe was on the other foot I worked so damn hard to make sunshine for friends who were on the brink of CTBing. and i just wish everyone who could do that, did do that.
the way people have this attitude of "damn that's crazy, better fix yourself if you want to keep associating with me" is so fucking ass backwards. I can't pour from a fucking empty cup. I need people to love and support me so that I can recover; it doesn't work in reverse! When every day you're going home to a cold lonely existence it doesn't fucking matter what sort of silly life hacks or strategies people give you. Self care has its limits in utility. At a certain point i am too exhausted to do the 900 things I'm supposed to do.
And this all is apparently taboo to say? But every fucking happy person I know has loved ones they can count on. I want to shake these fuckers for the way they take this for granted. The way they assume they're some kind of special being for being able to do more than us who are alone; so many would do worse than me if placed in the same circumstances. And the thing is I don't care! I don't have any interest in being better than others I just want everyone equal. I want to live in a world where people give a flying fuck about my needs simply because I am a person; not this shithole society where everyone who isn't born into happiness has to work tirelessly to prove themselves worthy of love and basic needs.
I see so many people on this forum full of self loathing and full of "I'm the worst" for situations that aren't their fault and it PISSES ME OFF. The way the victim-blaming is so pervasive that most people who are struggling have internalized it. the way we don't talk enough about the shitty people who are actually to blame. The fact that the only socially acceptable way for me to talk about my hardships is to basically fucking apologize for them when it's society that failed me and not vice versa. The high rates of suicide we're seeing these days are caused by social murder and it's so fucking warped the way many people have bought into the narrative that it's the suiciders themselves who are to blame rather than the cruel system that caused all of the actual damage that made them suicidal.
So yeah it's just the cruel cherry on top when my own friends seem more keen to say whatever will make me shut up than to spend time helping me heal. when the shoe was on the other foot I worked so damn hard to make sunshine for friends who were on the brink of CTBing. and i just wish everyone who could do that, did do that.
