I feel like no matter how much I try I'll just never be happy. I went out today to the club with my boyfriend and a friend and at some point I just stopped moving, and was just looking around and feeling empty. When we came back home I had a big meltdown and came crying to bed to ask my boyfriend to hug me and he got angry at me, which is understandable, because he gets up at 10am and it's 3am which is understandable and told me if I don't stop I'll have to go and I just am at a point where I don't know what to do i genuinely feel so helpless I feel like I'm just going to ctb soon really. I feel personally like I genuinely don't have a reason not to, I don't have much friends and I work a shitty warehouse job in Netherlands as an immigrant. I'm so so lost and I wish I could feel normal for once but I think there's just something fundamentally wrong with me
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