I'm sick of this demented life

[purplerapture]

I'm sick of it all of how you need to meet certain expectations to have worth it's like a theatrical play you need to keep pretending and moving along or else you're a worthless piece of shit. You need to have a good body a good job good grades good social life good this good that fuck you I'm sick of this mask I have to keep wearing I don't want to read the "script" anymore I don't want any of this anymore but if I don't then the alternative of being put aside is unfathomable.

I've been in that spot before I know how it hurts to be seen as someone who is "less" I'm so tired I don't want to live and slowly become less and less because let's face it the expectations will keep increasing with time this won't end I don't want any of this I don't derive any satisfaction from this I just want to be left alone. I don't want this job I don't want this degree I don't want to be forced to keep going out I don't want to play along anymore I need a way out already.

 

[charlotte_]

I feel this with every single fiber with my body. Life is so cruel and selfish. It moves on constantly, and we're forced to move on along. If we fall, we'll be stepped on and ran all over, covered in filth. I understand the feeling of being "less". It feels as if your being hung on the thread, and just a single mistake and the thread will be severed, leaving you to fall to endless nowhere. It is sad, really, and sorry that I don't know how to help you other than just telling you I understand. But I hope the best for you, on whatever path you may choose. We don't deserve to suffer just for struggling.

 

[Zegers]

Indeed, you need certain characteristics, in every culture and country it varies but everywhere it is like a game, only here you don't choose the skills.

 

[purplerapture]

I feel this with every single fiber with my body. Life is so cruel and selfish. It moves on constantly, and we're forced to move on along. If we fall, we'll be stepped on and ran all over, covered in filth. I understand the feeling of being "less". It feels as if your being hung on the thread, and just a single mistake and the thread will be severed, leaving you to fall to endless nowhere. It is sad, really, and sorry that I don't know how to help you other than just telling you I understand. But I hope the best for you, on whatever path you may choose. We don't deserve to suffer just for struggling.

You described exactly how it feels wow imagine how amazing it would be to just run off to a forest cabin where we no longer have to play along, sadly it'll never happen.

Indeed, you need certain characteristics, in every culture and country it varies but everywhere it is like a game, only here you don't choose the skills.

Exactly and in my culture I'd say I'm doing everything perfectly so far from a job to an education but at some point there will be an expectation of me to get married and have kids like everyone else and that's something I refuse to do. I've already done so much to "fit" in I refuse to compromise anymore of myself I'm sick of it.

 

[StaticCryBabye]

It's like society is a bunch of dictators, forcing us to follow their script or be thrown in the trash. I know how much it sucks to be seen as inferior, and I hate that you have to go through it too. Honestly, it's all just a bunch of bullshit, and we don't owe anyone anything. We should be free to live our lives on our own terms, not society's.

 

[Jezzibell]

My mother was a narcissist. She destroyed me by having silent expectations. When I was successful and had money, she used to visit every week and do some paid house cleaning for me. When I gave up my job she stopped visiting. I strived my whole life and she never once hugged me, said she was proud of me or told me she loved me. Instead she put me fown in front of others like telling my ex my teeth had been removed and I needed dentures. It was mortifying. She told even strangers that I was an unnatural oddity because it didn't want a relationship. So I can really relate.

 

[purplerapture]

It's like society is a bunch of dictators, forcing us to follow their script or be thrown in the trash. I know how much it sucks to be seen as inferior, and I hate that you have to go through it too. Honestly, it's all just a bunch of bullshit, and we don't owe anyone anything. We should be free to live our lives on our own terms, not society's.

Exactly!!! and it's especially stressful now in my early 20s where I have to start working for a future that I don't even care about having it sucks so bad to be trapped like this it's our lives we should have the right to live exactly how we want to

My mother was a narcissist. She destroyed me by having silent expectations. When I was successful and had money, she used to visit every week and do some paid house cleaning for me. When I gave up my job she stopped visiting. I strived my whole life and she never once hugged me, said she was proud of me or told me she loved me. Instead she put me fown in front of others like telling my ex my teeth had been removed and I needed dentures. It was mortifying. She told even strangers that I was an unnatural oddity because it didn't want a relationship. So I can really relate.

I'm sorry you had to deal with it it reminds me of my mom a bit. She had all these expectations without saying them she never bothered to criticize me or advice me but instead yelling insults at me suddenly when I didn't meet them. She never taught me anything ever I'm 22 and I still don't know most basic stuff I feel like I'm already way behind everyone else I'm so tired.

She never respects my wishes for space she still tries to tell me what to wear that I have to yell at her, she used to talk about me behind my back, years ago I heard her crying about me to my cousin she made me seem like a pathetic loner when I was just studying by myself. She still tells everyone that she looks forward to me getting married and have children when I prefer women. It's exhausting

 

[FuneralCry]

It's very much understandable wishing to be free from this hellish world where people suffer all through no fault of their own. Life really is so cruel to me and I hate how continuing to exist is always viewed as an obligation rather than a personal choice.