I'm sick of suffering... I just took a bunch of pills.

[Folie]

Chronic pain is killing me. Literally. I can't do it anymore. All I can hope is that it knocks me the fuck out, and I don't wake up... I don't deserve to feel this way. I'm a good person. I do good things in life for people and animals alike. I don't get it! NOBODY deserves to feel this for the 16 years I've dealt with it with little to no relief at all! I just don't know how much longer I can keep going if I do wake up... When will I finally just end it all and hang myself already? The past 72 hours has been absolute HELL. I just don't know what to do with myself anymore...

Let's just hope that at the very least I sleep super hard and wake up in less pain. If not, then I don't know what tomorrow will bring... Wish me luck.

Edit: It's been about 50 minutes. Just starting to feel the effects. Ugh, pleeeeeeeeeeeeease let me sleeeeeeeeeeeeep.

 

[theguineapigking]

Hey. First, how are you doing now?

I'm sorry to hear about what you've gone through. 16 years is a long time. I don't know how people do it. Is it chronic back pain? Or fibromyalgia? Physical illnesses can be so taxing on your wellbeing, especially severe illnesses.

What pills did you take, if you don't mind answering? Certain pills like Tylenol or Advil are far more likely to send you to the hospital than they are to kill you. I don't want you to suffer unnecessarily more than you already do. If you took some otc med like that, please be ready to call 911 if the meds begin to kick in hard. I've heard of people rolling around in agony from ibuprofen(Advil) overdosing.

Best wishes in the meantime. I'm here to talk a bit if you'd like.

 

[lifeisbutadream]

Pain is such a terrible thing, and they won't even give people adequate pain relief medications because of their phony "war on drugs". Good luck, Folie, i hope you can sleep good tonight and have a good day tomorrow. I'm like that too. If i can sleep good i will usually have a much more pain free day.

 

[Folie]

I passed out shortly after my edit. I did end up throwing up, but I even took medicine for nausea hoping to prevent that. By this time though it was in my system. My friend came to check on me at around 1pm today. I had passed out in my living room. My front door wasn't even locked! (This made me more mad than anything!) I didn't use OTC meds. I used pain killers that I had put back. It made me feel like absolute shit. That's about all I can remember (and feeling sleepy of course.) My friend checked my laptop when I was in the bathroom after she got me up. I know she saw this site. One of my tabs was opened to this site, and I would never leave it open like that for it to be so easily found. I would at least flip to another tab if it was still open UNLESS I was so out of it that I just didn't do it to begin with. Regardless, I'm sure she saw this, and now I feel embarrassed... We sat and talked all afternoon. I'm glad she came over. She's been my best friend since I was 10, and these are exactly the reasons why. She gets my pain. She's a nurse now. I'm just thankful to have her in my life.

I just didn't wanna feel anymore pain...

 

[socrates]

I'm glad you have such a good friend! Friend are one of the best things about life. Chronic pain is EVIL no one deserves to go through it. Part of me thinks that big pharam just tries to numb the pain so you keep coming back for more. It make sense if true, but it would also be one of the evilest things imaginable. I really hope you feel better!

 

[Folie]

I'm glad you have such a good friend! Friend are one of the best things about life. Chronic pain is EVIL no one deserves to go through it. Part of me thinks that big pharam just tries to numb the pain so you keep coming back for more. It make sense if true, but it would also be one of the evilest things imaginable. I really hope you feel better!

I'm lucky to have someone in my life willing to help and not judge that I want to go sooner than later due to suffering from chronic pain. (Her being a nurse doesn't hurt either.) I won't do it with her around when I finally do it for real, but I thought it would be smart to try. I'm glad I did. If you really want it then passing out isn't that hard to do because it happens so fast. She wasn't ok with it for many years, but after seeing me suffer for so long she's come to accept that at some point it's going to happen.