I’m scared

[Rye]

I don't understand why i'm scared, I had everything ready, and it would've been so easy. I think i just don't want to be nothing. I guess i wouldn't really feel/know if i was nothing. But still the thought terrifies me.

 

[WAITING TO DIE]

Same. It's perfectly normal and understandable to feel this way.
I'm not afraid of the actual act of dying anymore, yet there is always that " what happens after death " question that haunts me, even though I don't really believe that there's anything after death.
But, we just don't know to be sure, and it's so annoying.

 

[NocturnILL]

Your fear is very valid. The unknown is scary. To not know can be terrifying. All we know is what comforts us and makes us feel at ease.
SI really can mess things up

 

[Weltall]

I don't understand why i'm scared, I had everything ready, and it would've been so easy. I think i just don't want to be nothing. I guess i wouldn't really feel/know if i was nothing. But still the thought terrifies me.

This is an extremely difficult question that has no answer.
The unknown is daunting, but also captivating.
Anything, or everything, can happen.

If you need any support, then let us know.
I wish you luck on your journey friend.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

I'm sorry you have to go through that. I don't fear the unknown after death it's more like a FOMO what I could miss out in life although there's nothing to miss out it's fucked up and recovery chances are nearly 0 here. What's your method?

 

[thewalkingdread]

I think i just don't want to be nothing

Contrary to the popular and stupid superstition that suicide is selfish, killing oneself is actually the most selfless act one can ever do — one is literally and permanently anihilating the self.

That's why it's so hard to do it. We are fully aware of this "nothingness"... and, frankly, it's quite unbearable and unpleaseant to think of it — our OWN despicable demise. It's easy to accept the demise of others, but not our own.

Even if we are rationally convinced that, overall, life is a big piece of shit not even worth beggining it, it's still very hard to let go of it... to let go of ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING.

All we have ever done up to this point is mostly based on our self-interest. And our narcisist self can't deal with the fact that he will be no more. And — oh, boy! — he will do anything he can to manipulate everything in his way to his favour.

That's why we feel so much comfort when we try to deal with our own deaths by pretending or supposing that there will be an afterlife. It's the self trying to save himself through self-deception.

Some people believe in this illusionism... and it really can help, if you can genuinely believe It.

For the rest of us, not easily fooled, bearers of a more skeptical/scientific perspective, it's quite an agonizing experience to realize that everything will be gone for good.

 

[justcallmeJ]

You seem hopeless at the moment, I feel you. Might you be scared that you will regret it? Have you tried everything you could before ending it completely? I dont know whats going on with you, but I hope you dont make any rash decisions.
Much love <3

 

[gbi2]

Same. It's perfectly normal and understandable to feel this way.
I'm not afraid of the actual act of dying anymore, yet there is always that " what happens after death " question that haunts me, even though I don't really believe that there's anything after death.
But, we just don't know to be sure, and it's so annoying.

I suppose someone could say it is different if someone only dies for a few minutes, but I knew someone for a while who had been in a very bad car accident. He had brain damage and one eye was still pointing the wrong way, he eventually had surgery to mostly correct that.
One day he told me he had dies 3 times and had been brought back each time. His hearing was the last thing to go each time and he didn't experience anything that suggested an afterlife or anything like that, just everything fading one by one.

 

[WAITING TO DIE]

I suppose someone could say it is different if someone only dies for a few minutes, but I knew someone for a while who had been in a very bad car accident. He had brain damage and one eye was still pointing the wrong way, he eventually had surgery to mostly correct that.
One day he told me he had dies 3 times and had been brought back each time. His hearing was the last thing to go each time and he didn't experience anything that suggested an afterlife or anything like that, just everything fading one by one.

Thank you.
It's comforting to hear of experiences like this knowing that he didn't experience any kind of afterlife episodes.
I just want complete nothingness when I die.

 

[gbi2]

Thank you.
It's comforting to hear of experiences like this knowing that he didn't experience any kind of afterlife episodes.
I just want complete nothingness when I die.

I wish I'd have asked him more but given the trauma he must have suffered I didn't want to pry but I first thought the brain must be the last thing to go if it can process hearing still. But then when I thought of the eardrum effectively being mechanical then I suppose it is still even responding to soundwaves even when the brain is no longer doing anything, so the ears will still be working after everything else, I suppose that could mean, if anything else did happen that was anything like another world/life or whatever he would have said he heard more than just the fading or the 'real' sounds around him.

Again, I wish I'd have asked more but I haven't ever held a belief so have no real inclination to find anything out.

 

[FloraKilter]

Me too. I'm absolutely terrified of the dying process. I'm scared it won't work and I end up alive but disabled, trapped in a flesh prison. I'm scared my survival instinct will kick in and I will experience extreme regret. I'm scared it will hurt.

 

[temporarycloud]

I've had some degree of thanataphobia and suicidal thoughts from a young age. Let me tell you, having thanataphobia and being suicidal is a wild combination! I believe that death is the permanent cessation of consciousness and I know that the only reason I fear it is because my lizard brain is desperate to keep living, propogate and all that jazz, and because nonexistence by it's very definition is impossible for us to ever comprehend or consciously experience. But it doesn't make it any less daunting at times.

Please remember that you don't have to ctb if you're afraid, or if you don't feel ready. This is an extremely personal decision (the biggest one you'll ever make) so if you need time to think about it I encourage you to take some time. Once you do it there's no going back! Whatever choice you make I wish you only peace.