I’m really struggling to find a way to go

[endofdays]

I am really struggling to ctb. I have no access to n or sn as I live in a country with strict customs controls.
The co2 levels produced by my car are far too low to be effective. I have tried to buy nitrogen but was refused.
I have tried to hang myself, but cannot summon up the courage to take the final step. I have no hope for the future and need to go now, as I cannot face another day.
I tired refusing to eat and drink but my family had me hospitalised, but now I am home again I feel no different and still desperately want to ctb, I cannot go on and no one can help me. Have life limiting disease and cannot bare to go on any longer.
I guess my question is if I buy sleeping pills wand take them will this enable me to slip the noose around my neck and just slip away or will I still be awake and feel everything?
Please help me I am desperate and do not have the will to go on

 

[VoidDesirer22]

I am really struggling to ctb. I have no access to n or sn as I live in a country with strict customs controls.
The co2 levels produced by my car are far too low to be effective. I have tried to buy nitrogen but was refused.
I have tried to hang myself, but cannot summon up the courage to take the final step. I have no hope for the future and need to go now, as I cannot face another day.
I tired refusing to eat and drink but my family had me hospitalised, but now I am home again I feel no different and still desperately want to ctb, I cannot go on and no one can help me. Have life limiting disease and cannot bare to go on any longer.
I guess my question is if I buy sleeping pills wand take them will this enable me to slip the noose around my neck and just slip away or will I still be awake and feel everything?
Please help me I am desperate and do not have the will to go on

Is your country even strict about SN?

 

[endofdays]

Yes, it is illegal and even if I could order from overseas it would be stopped at customs probably e leading to my arrest as it is used in making explosives so would look like. Terror threat

 

[hopelessgirl]

Hanging is easy. Just watch some videos about the choking game on YouTube. Lot of kids hanged themselves by accident because they were playing this choking game. They had no idea they could die.

 

[endofdays]

Just can't take that final step, tried partial but that is no better and advice gratefully recieved

 

[hopelessgirl]

Just can't take that final step, tried partial but that is no better and advice gratefully recieved

Why can't you? I know it's really hard to really do it. But if you follow the choking method it will fairly easy. To be able to do partial you need to lean forward, but you need to find the right angle and pressure. Then you will loose consciousness in as low as 10 seconds. And then you're gone. Should be painless. But it's a technique you need to master. Read about it as much as possible. You can even put soap on your rope to make it tighter because it will be a bit slippery and have less friction. You need to be really ready to die when you try partial though. Because suddenly you can loose consciousness and then you die. Many people die this way not knowing that it would really work. So be careful when you practice. You can suddenly die :-)

 

[endofdays]

Partial didn't work at all have tried multiple times having read alll the relevant posts. Plus it has a much lower success rate than suspension. I want to die more than anything as I I cannot face another day. I tried using a tourniquet but cannot push it to the end. I guess my fear is that it won't work and I will be in an even worse position than the impossible one I find myself in now.

 

[FuneralCry]

I'm sorry that you are suffering so much, I know that this life can be unbearable when you are desperate to leave. Suicide really is so difficult and more than anything I wish that it was easier to exit this world. I wish that we lived in a society where our right to die is respected and we could exit peacefully when the time is right for us. I wish you the best in whatever happens.

 

[justwanttogo]

Partial didn't work at all have tried multiple times having read alll the relevant posts. Plus it has a much lower success rate than suspension. I want to die more than anything as I I cannot face another day. I tried using a tourniquet but cannot push it to the end. I guess my fear is that it won't work and I will be in an even worse position than the impossible one I find myself in now.

i can totally relate, the fear of being in a much worse state than i am currently keeps me off.
i cant believe that there isnt just a simpler way of ctb, but as i look through the resources i cant find anything..
maan, there has to be some easy accesible medication oder chemical that makes you sleep forever