tpboy

tpboy

No Karma Cafe
Aug 4, 2023
326
Really and Truley I have never wanted to CTB. I am being forced into making this choice. Without going to deep into it I was very injured and then got MND because of my injuries. Im loosing my ability to walk at all. It's getting hard to even get a spoon to my mouth. Dizzy all the time and lost a lot of my vision. Writing you all here is a bit labored. It's just me and my Mom who is 92 and having her own struggles. I dread the dead i have to CTB but I/m terrified about the places my body is headed. I have put a date on it by the end of the year. Just don't know if i will have the strength to go thru with it. My methods are not great. I reall thing that maybe a gun is best but how do i get the will to pull the trigger? This is all so very difficult, and my heart goes out to every single one on here that is grappling with some pf these same decisions. Any words anyone has would be much appreciated.
 
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SVEN

Enlightened
Apr 3, 2023
1,787
It truly is a hellish position in which you find yourself. If you have access to a firearm then you are ahead of many of us in countries where we lack any means of obtaining one.
As the days and weeks pass you may find that your deteriorating health will help to focus your thoughts on the choices open to you. Ultimately I guess that only you will be able to decide when you've reached that point where escape from the prison you feel your body becoming is better than what you daily endure.
Very best wishes whatever your decision.
 
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bored2death

Member
Aug 9, 2023
60
i'm sorry to hear that. i hope you find a way to peace, whatever that ends up being to you.
 
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FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
38,894
That really sounds so horrifying what you've been through but anyway I wish you the best. I believe that when it comes to going through with it, those who succeeded who had access to a reliable method, just got so determined and knew that it was the right time.
 
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tpboy

tpboy

No Karma Cafe
Aug 4, 2023
326
It truly is a hellish position in which you find yourself. If you have access to a firearm then you are ahead of many of us in countries where we lack any means of obtaining one.
As the days and weeks pass you may find that your deteriorating health will help to focus your thoughts on the choices open to you. Ultimately I guess that only you will be able to decide when you've reached that point where escape from the prison you feel your body becoming is better than what you daily endure.
Very best wishes whatever your decision.
Thank you for these kind words.
 
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