Discussion I'm quitting antidepressant, and I feel suicidal again.

[apple0613]

I took and quit more than one antidepressant, I'll say they were working for me actually.

And this time, I was taking an antidepressant called NDRI, I took this one because it has basically no withdrawal (not like SSRI) so I can quit if I decide to. However, it has side-effect just like others, I have side-effect of shaky hand problem and it's effecting my works, so I decide to quitting it, and I quit it for a week now. My hand stop shaking right after the day I quit, but for sure I knew that the deep depression will come to me at some point, since I was in a dark place before I started taking this antidepressant. I know what I feel before I took this antidepressant, I was very suicidal, I had a lot of suicide knowledge from that time, I also planed things back then.

And here I am again, I think the effect of antidepressant is going away day by day. When I was on antidepressant, or when I was like a more normal person (no offense), a lot of time I'll consider suicide as a crazy move. But now it feels like a thing I'll eventually doing it, even though I'll keep my life going normally for now, I still think ctb is the destination I'll be there eventually.
Will things getting better after ctb? I can't know that. Then how can I think that's okay? I don't know, but I do know I feel painful to be here.


I think many people here have the same feeling about ctb, I mean it feels like the destination no matter you'll do it now or later. So I think the only place I can share is here.
I'll not ctb for now, I am quitting antidepressant for works, so yeah there are works waiting for me, and I want to do those working stuffs, that's nice even though they are not life changfer by any mean.
Anyway, every person I'll meet IRL will not know anything that I mentioned in this post, glad I can share here.

 

[itsover246]

Just wanna say be careful bro stopping and starting over and over with these medications can be a recipe for disaster.

 

[apple0613]

Just wanna say be careful bro stopping and starting over and over with these medications can be a recipe for disaster.

I started taking my first antidepressant (SSRI) from like 5 years ago and lasting for at least 3 years, and I took the recent one (NDRI) for half of a year.
So it's two of them in total, the first one is kind of in long term, at least not in very short term, but yeah I know what you are talking about, those stuffs can impact life for sure.
And your tag.. Life destroyed by SSRIs, I guess you experienced quite a lot around those things.

 

[itsover246]

Yes the have totally crippled me it's why I'm here.

I mean with like stopping and starting these things you need to be careful cold turkying them is asking for trouble when if your on them again and wanna come off taper off them very slowly

 

[ThisIsMe1357]

I recently watched a documentary which asked a question about whether antidepressants are actually effective. It also mentioned a lot of side effects and withdrawal symptoms. So I would like to ask, what is taking antidepressants like? Do you just take them every day, feel better, and have no side effects? Are there different kinds to offer? And what happens when you stop taking them very suddenly?

 

[Onelegman]

I suspect that the antidepressants were prescribed to you by a doctor, he should tell you how to stop them properly. I had to drop 25 mg every 2 weeks, but it was anafranil. It was what the doctor told me.

I left them because they didn't help me at all, I'm glad they work for you.

 

[Beyond_Repair]

Antidepressant withdrawal is no joke, like others have said you may want to consult with your doctor about quitting them rather than go cold turkey. I feel you though, I'm on an SNRI and I start getting withdrawal symptoms if I forget to take them for a few days, it's not fun

 

[anon7245]

As someone who experienced a bad withdrawal symptom when I quit, (I'm going to make some assumptions based on this single post you've made so bare with me) that you should either look for a new doctor whose better than your current one, or quit the medications all together and look for other ways to deal with your problems. I've been on and off medications whether they were effective or not, but from the sounds of it you don't have many options other than to deal with the side effects or to power through the SI. Personally I believe the former is the better option but whatever you believe is best for your mental and physical health remains top priority.

 

[apple0613]

I recently watched a documentary which asked a question about whether antidepressants are actually effective. It also mentioned a lot of side effects and withdrawal symptoms. So I would like to ask, what is taking antidepressants like? Do you just take them every day, feel better, and have no side effects? Are there different kinds to offer? And what happens when you stop taking them very suddenly?

Sure.

The kinds of antidepressant I know, which are SSRIs and NDRI, you should take them regularly, and they'll take effect after at least a few weeks. SSRIs have noticeable side-effects and withdrawal, NDRI has not much withdrawal at far as I know.
When I was on SSRIs, I'll feel micro electric shocked every few seconds if I stop using it for like 24-48 hrs, and for me it'll last a month after I quitting SSRIs completely. My friends usually have that around 1-2 weeks, though. I tried quit it quickly or slowly, the withdrawal will be there anyway.

I'm not sure about the SSRIs, but NDRI surely worked for me, I felt not as painful for things even though notthing is changed at all, I still not felt happy though.

About stop taking them very suddenly, SSRIs has the withdrawal mentioned above, NDRI doesn't have noticeable withdrawal happened for me now except for the side-effect is gone immediately. However, I think there'll be some emotion hits for me at near future since NDRI helped me a lot when it started effecting.

 

[TheLastBoyOnEarth]

It's sort of a catch-22 with the antidepressants. Sometimes they get you better but also have like very bad side effects. It sucks, really. I've taken antidepressants half of my life and it's awful half the time. I wish psychiatric medication was more advanced.

 

[WaitingToGo]

Eighteen months ago I cold turkeyed off Citalopram as I wanted to feel what it was like to be the "real" me. I'd been taking it for many years previously and emotionally I was just flat. Anyway after a couple of months off it, I had a breakdown and wanted to CTB. I had (and still have) my suicide kit, but reached out for help instead. There followed several months of psychiatric help, plus going back on different antidepressants to try to reduce my suicidal thoughts. All had unsatisfactory side effects, so eventually they put me back on Citalopram again and I'm fine again. Still emotionally flat but this is definitely better than the "real" me.
Going cold turkey is not a good idea as I know only too well.

 

[bunnydetriment]

I'm on a similar boat right now