Venting I'm Not Worth It

[Midnight_Rambler]

I've been hanging around here for a little bit now, but I haven't posted.
People tell me what a great guy I am, until the novelty wears off. The moment I start to trust, and speak any of my thoughts people don't find me all that great anymore. They still tell me I'm a great guy. They tell me how kind I am. They tell me all these things, but they don't mean it. My only role in this world is to be there for everybody else. Make sure they're okay. Hold them together while they fall apart. I don't matter. I have no purpose. I have no value. I'm just a toy.

I've been through a lot of trauma in my life. I'm a broken shell as a result. A broken shell hiding who I am under a mask of something entirely different. I've made several attempts over the years, but it appears that I cannot even be successful in failing to exist. I'm a completely worthless human. So, how much longer do I continue to play this game? How much longer do I pretend to be okay. Do I keep the torment inside. Every day I want to be done. I keep going for everyone else. There is nothing left in it for me.

 

[Hennessy]

I've been hanging around here for a little bit now, but I haven't posted.
People tell me what a great guy I am, until the novelty wears off. The moment I start to trust, and speak any of my thoughts people don't find me all that great anymore. They still tell me I'm a great guy. They tell me how kind I am. They tell me all these things, but they don't mean it. My only role in this world is to be there for everybody else. Make sure they're okay. Hold them together while they fall apart. I don't matter. I have no purpose. I have no value. I'm just a toy.

I've been through a lot of trauma in my life. I'm a broken shell as a result. A broken shell hiding who I am under a mask of something entirely different. I've made several attempts over the years, but it appears that I cannot even be successful in failing to exist. I'm a completely worthless human. So, how much longer do I continue to play this game? How much longer do I pretend to be okay. Do I keep the torment inside. Every day I want to be done. I keep going for everyone else. There is nothing left in it for me.

You, my friend, need a hug. I shall give you many!

 

[Guizin239]

How do you know people stop thinking you're great when you put your thoughts out there?

 

[Etherealdignity333]

I resonate with a lot of things you said.
I'm sending you love from afar, and hoping it helps put YOU back together, even the tiniest bit.

 

[Midnight_Rambler]

You, my friend, need a hug. I shall give you many!

Thank you. That's the most hugs I've gotten in a really long time.

How do you know people stop thinking you're great when you put your thoughts out there?

They start distancing themselves from me. They start to only call on me when they need something, otherwise they don't talk to me anymore. They stop wanting to be a part of my life. Other people tell me they said they don't want to talk to me anymore. There are many reasons I know this to be true.

I resonate with a lot of things you said.
I'm sending you love from afar, and hoping it helps put YOU back together, even the tiniest bit.

Thank you

 

[Beautifulletdown]

I can so relate to what you're saying because I experience the same thing in my life. It's like you plucked the thoughts right out of my head. I figured out that I'm simply a toxic person and there is something wrong with me so I should just be alone. I even reached out to someone here who said if you needed to talk to contact them. Just like everyone else I'm forgotten and discarded. I wanted to post on here but it decided against it. Just as in real life I'm invisible. Sorry. Your post just resonated with me. I hope you find people that appreciate you.

 

[LifeOver]

This post really describes my life as well. The word "friend" is not in my dictionary anymore: everyone in real life ignores me and the only reason they talk to me is to request something of me.

 

[Midnight_Rambler]

I can so relate to what you're saying because I experience the same thing in my life. It's like you plucked the thoughts right out of my head. I figured out that I'm simply a toxic person and there is something wrong with me so I should just be alone. I even reached out to someone here who said if you needed to talk to contact them. Just like everyone else I'm forgotten and discarded. I wanted to post on here but it decided against it. Just as in real life I'm invisible. Sorry. Your post just resonated with me. I hope you find people that appreciate you.

I'm equally glad and saddened by the fact you can relate. I've often wondered if I'm simply meant to be alone. Maybe I was born to suffer.

 

[Beautifulletdown]

I'm equally glad and saddened by the fact you can relate. I've often wondered if I'm simply meant to be alone. Maybe I was born to suffer.

Maybe I'm wrong but I don't think anyone is born to suffer. I've come to realize it's people that cause suffering by simple being horrible, selfish human beings. They'll use others to get what they want. To be fair because I'm sure I'll get zapped for being so broad that not all people are like that.

 

[Midnight_Rambler]

Maybe I'm wrong but I don't think anyone is born to suffer. I've come to realize it's people that cause suffering by simple being horrible, selfish human beings. They'll use others to get what they want. To be fair because I'm sure I'll get zapped for being so broad that not all people are like that.

It certainly feels I was born to suffer. My life reads like a bad horror movie. I'm not convinced everyone is selfish. There is the rare person out there who isn't, but they seem to be in short supply. Maybe I'm selfish for wanting people to be there. Don't know.

 

[Beautifulletdown]

It certainly feels I was born to suffer. My life reads like a bad horror movie. I'm not convinced everyone is selfish. There is the rare person out there who isn't, but they seem to be in short supply. Maybe I'm selfish for wanting people to be there. Don't know.

I can't believe how much I can relate to you. I was just thinking maybe I expect to much from other people which is leading me to the idea that being alone is my best bet. I wish I didnt care so much. I feel so stupid. Sorry. Anyway

 

[pole]

I've been hanging around here for a little bit now, but I haven't posted.
People tell me what a great guy I am, until the novelty wears off. The moment I start to trust, and speak any of my thoughts people don't find me all that great anymore. They still tell me I'm a great guy. They tell me how kind I am. They tell me all these things, but they don't mean it. My only role in this world is to be there for everybody else. Make sure they're okay. Hold them together while they fall apart. I don't matter. I have no purpose. I have no value. I'm just a toy.

I've been through a lot of trauma in my life. I'm a broken shell as a result. A broken shell hiding who I am under a mask of something entirely different. I've made several attempts over the years, but it appears that I cannot even be successful in failing to exist. I'm a completely worthless human. So, how much longer do I continue to play this game? How much longer do I pretend to be okay. Do I keep the torment inside. Every day I want to be done. I keep going for everyone else. There is nothing left in it for me.

you really aren't what you told yourself you are. all the people in ur life just stopped telling you the great things you were, and as soon as we loose such a thing, we resort to our thoughts and negativity that create some sort of perception for ourselves and then we force ourselves to believe this negative perception cause it's all we know about ourselves, all while drowning ourselves in our own sorrow and sadness by keeping everything inside.

worst thing is to keep the torment inside. don't keep it in and let yourself suffer. you havent had people in you're life willing to understand and listen and remind you of the type of person you are.

if you EVER need someone to talk to and pour everything you're holding inside, i'm all ears.