I'm not sure that I'll be here by this time next week

[mrwizard11]

I've been struggling with suicidal thoughts over the past month since my wife of 10 years left me. Some days are easier than others but the weekend is always a mixed bag of mostly chaos for me. I don't really have a will to live without my wife.

She gave me her reasons for leaving and they never really made sense. I've eventually come to find out she had an emotional affair and she wanted to try her hand with the new guy. Within a month she's completely moved out and has completely replaced me with her new friend in every possible way. I can't even imagine she is the same person I stood next to 10 years ago and told her forever.

This is the only solution to a permanent problem. I've been trying to get over her. I made new friends. I even started talking to a few new women, but it's not the same. I just want the pain to go away. I want someone to want me again. I don't want to wake up alone anymore. I want someone to hold me and tell me they appreciate everything I've done for them. I want my wife back even though she broke me.

I think I am going to do it. I just can't take the pain anymore. Half of me is missing. It hurts so much and I'm tired of it. I'm fucking tired of feeling so broken and destroyed. I just want it to stop. The last few items I need arrive on Monday and I think I will do it before the end of the week. Why prolong the inevitable.

I just want the pain to stop.

 

[thirdrailer]

Getting dumped for an emotional affair by a long term partner feels truly awful. Whether you go forward with your plan or find another way to navigate the pain -- it seems like you haven't decided -- I hope you find the peace you need.

 

[GasMonkey]

What's your method?

 

[mrwizard11]

What's your method?

Exit bag with Argon. I have everything except the canister and regulator, which comes Monday. I haven't decided between the bag and an NRB mask yet though. I've got both but worried about the mask slipping.

 

[GasMonkey]

The ExitBag is safer. NRB masks, even tho they are plausible to CTB and likely to work, are not explicitly designed to protect you from the external air and can originate issues with the mask's fit/placement in the face, which can cause air to leak into the mask, like it happened to one of the subjects on the Dignitas study.​

Where are you from?

 

[FuneralCry]

That really does sound like a painful situation to be trapped in, the unfortunate reality is that in this cruel world you cannot rely on other people, they can be so incredibly disappointing and just create more problems. But anyway it's very much understandable wishing to be free from all the suffering, I hope that when the time is right for you to leave you find the freedom that you search for.

 

[TheDizzenter]

I feel really bad for ya, my man. It shows how certain people don't see the impact they cause to someone.
I got that trust isn't a toy, and I'm only wishing you, that a painful condition as that, all you really deserve is a rest.
When the time is the best for you take what you need, go for It. For your best, for yourself.

 

[It'sMyLife]

"I can't even imagine she is the same person I stood next to 10 years ago and told her forever"
Yeah she probably isn't the same unfortunately and you're very
Close to being a lot like you were back then. It's just the nature of the different sexes. This little statement below is considered to be a joke but it's very true I think.

A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he does'nt. A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change and she does.

 

[mrwizard11]

Unfortunately the last item I needed was delayed, but it is comforting getting some of the pieces in place. This is where I plan to do it and I want to make it cozier for the final exit.

 

[Das Nichts]

If this is some comfort to you, this also goes the other way. Breaking up and deeply regretting that with no chance to fix it.

 

[outrider567]

Its only been a month since she left you? I would give everything more time

Exit bag with Argon. I have everything except the canister and regulator, which comes Monday. I haven't decided between the bag and an NRB mask yet though. I've got both but worried about the mask slipping.

An EEBD hood is another option

 

[GasMonkey]

An EEBD hood is another option

That's more complex to implement now that escMode is gone, but still feasible if you manage to get an EEBD hood and connect it to a flow regulator using an adapter, just that you can't no longer buy a ready to use kit.​

 

[outrider567]

EscMode is gone!?

 

[GasMonkey]

Yep.

 

[Per Ardua Ad Astra]

EscMode is gone!?

Yep.

Permanently?

Does anyone know — Has the owner replied with confirmation?

OP — Apologies

 

[Vizzy]

Permanently?

Does anyone know — Has the owner replied with confirmation?

OP — Apologies

I am sure permanently

Owner is caught in Canada and facing a lot of murder investigations, he supplied sn too

 

[GasMonkey]

Permanently?

That depends on the outcome of the trial.

facing a lot of murder investigations

Nah they are charging him with assisting suicide, not murder lol.

 

[Vizzy]

That depends on the outcome of the trial.


Nah they are charging him with assisting suicide, not murder lol.

I don't think he is gonna sell again after all this, even if he gets acquitted Canadian police will keep an eye on him lol

If he get convicted, he is going to prison for longtime for assisted suicide

In Canada people looking at him like a evil and cruel person, even his community hates him!

 

[Meditation guide]

I think I remember someone who kept promoting escmode regulators on here. I wonder if that was this guy:

Who is Kenneth Law? What we know as police worldwide investigate Canadian man | Globalnews.ca

Kenneth Law, 57, is being investigating by several police forces worldwide for allegedly selling a lethal substance online to those at risk of self-harm.

globalnews.ca

The regulators he sold were basic inexpensive regulators he had put his own brand on. I remember saying the to him, that I found the same regulator only without his brand. It was about a $50 one he was selling for a lot more, $200 or something.

 

[Jonaxthewise37]

Please try to remember that death is permanent and life is temporary, death breeds hate and malice, just know that being suicidal is okay, committing it isn't.