I'm not sure help?

[Irishsteve88]

Okay I'll try put this as easy to understand as I can.

My mum passed away a few years back there was a sport team she loved and I love. We use to attend games however they never got to a final. The month she died they won the cup since then the team has won the cup every year. Now they are in the final again that lands on the same day as her death anniversary. I miss her so much and I really an thinking of finally saying goodbye to the world but this final is soon an her anniversary is soon. I dont know what to do an I need help and advice. Now I dont have anymore family well I do but I dont talk to them anymore. Im alone at the age of 30. Havent seen those family members since my mums funeral thank god.

And just to be clear I have tried to end my life like hundreds of times since I was like 22 younger even. But was never successful Of the horrible life I had and scum of a dad I had.

 

[Donewith_]

I am sorry about the death of your mother. May her soul rest in peace.

I know it'll be a bit hard to cope, and to move on with life. Particularly, when you don't have other people to share your grief with. It hurts when you remember all those memories..
But, if you have no other problem except except this.. that make you want to ctb, please try to hold on. It really hurts to miss people you love. But, live for yourself. Your mom would be happy to know that.

Sorry that you have faced a lot of struggles. If possible.. try to do what you like.. or learn a new hobbie (that you are interested in ) that'll help you to distract your thoughts and help you move on with life. You can also connect with people in similar phase of life.. who lost their loved ones .. in online communities. I can't remember any specific ones.. but i found them before a while with a simple google search. It would be very comforting to talk to people who have gone through the same things as you.. and can understand you.
I hope this would go in a good way for you. I am here if you want to talk to anytime :)