Discussion I'm not exactly a "suicidal" person, but suicide is my only option. Anyone else in the same boat?

[joaosembraco12]

My story is long and full of nuances, twists and turns and everything else. But for the record, I think most people here suffer from depression and want to kill themselves, but that's not the case with me. It's not an ordinary, happy life, but it's tolerable, I don't have episodes of extreme sadness or anything. I'm incel and neet, I have autism level 2, I've tried to work and have a normal life, but I couldn't, it's extremely difficult and anguishing for me, not only because of the inability to work, but it's not worth it, my life is too bad, lonely, sad and monotonous to "make an effort" and have commitments, I don't know if anyone has been through this, but I have no motivation to have a common wageslave life. I have no technical or intellectual skills (maybe I do, but nothing of market value) and I'm worthless, with a low IQ and no future. Anyway, what has made my life " tolerable " ( in many quotation marks) is isolating myself to deal with the suffering, I stay at home all day on the internet, sometimes I do some hobbies, I eat fast food and other junk food, I smoke... I've given up on living, I'm a walking dead person, waiting to kill myself. I don't know what I'm going to do when my parents die, I'm thinking of killing myself, they're old and they're supporting me with their retirement. I don't know what to do. I know I just sounded like a bum in the story, but I swear, I promise you that I tried to socialize, to be happy, to date, to work, but the depression always consumed me. I'm afraid I won't have the courage when the time comes.