I'm New Here

[Bombastus]

Hello everyone,

I am new here, 31M. I have tried a great many things to try to achieve a sense of feeling good. I am taking the so called "anti-depressants" which can only be described and pointless and ineffective. All of these magnificent things people tell me are worth living for, are out of my reach and always have been.
Statistically speaking, there will always be someone who commits suicide, there will always be the person who dies alone and unloved, the person who can't seem to get anywhere in their career and is doomed to stay entry level on minimum wage into their old age. I don't think I can be convinced that there could be a silver lining for me.

Is there a thread where abbreviations are explained? I have found a very cheap and easy way to generate h2s but I'm still researching how to go about it to achieve success %100 and still looking at other options. I'm not in a hurry to leave. My biggest (of many) obstacle is the fear of pain and discomfort that many methods threaten. The thought of eternal rest is an enticing one but there are so many things that could go wrong and result in me being even worse off - like surviving with permanent injuries

 

[xo777]

Oh hi welcome! I'm sorry that life had brought you here but I hope this page helps x

What abbreviations were you looking at?
Ctb- Catch the bus- to commit

 

[Bombastus]

Thank you Catprincess. I read things like "SN" and "N from D" and I think I know what they are but I'm not certain. I'm still reading the site rules I have only just signed up in the last 20 mins or so

 

[outrider567]

Thank you Catprincess. I read things like "SN" and "N from D" and I think I know what they are but I'm not certain. I'm still reading the site rules I have only just signed up in the last 20 mins or so

SN Sodium Nitrite---N from D is Nembutal from D(can't list sources)--N2 is Nitrogen

 

[Bombastus]

Thankyou very much

 

[FuneralCry]

This life really is so depressing and I know that it can be so dreadful when everything feels hopeless. I'm sorry that it has come to this point for you. Suicide really is so difficult and I wish that there is a way to peacefully pass away in my sleep without having to go through the process of planning ctb. The fear of failure is the main thing that holds me back from attempting personally. I also just want to rest forever, to me it is comforting the thought of all the suffering ending. I wish you the best in whatever you decide to do.

 

[Bombastus]

This life really is so depressing and I know that it can be so dreadful when everything feels hopeless. I'm sorry that it has come to this point for you. Suicide really is so difficult and I wish that there is a way to peacefully pass away in my sleep without having to go through the process of planning ctb. The fear of failure is the main thing that holds me back from attempting personally. I also just want to rest forever, to me it is comforting the thought of all the suffering ending. I wish you the best in whatever you decide to do.

I feel what you are saying, I live on the 5th floor of an apartment building, many times I've tried drinking to the point I can work up the courage to jump off but the thought of getting paralysed and failing to die stops me no matter how out of my mind I get

 

[Lost in a Dream]

I've tried taking anti-depressants as well, but yet here I am anyway. It sucks when we try to be happy and fix our problems, only for our efforts to backfire and we end up wanting out anyway, but at least we can say we tried, right? Now that you're here, I'm sure you will have no issues with finding a peaceful way out, since this is where I learned about SN.

Welcome to SS, I hope you enjoy your stay, whether it's only for a few days, or for many years. It's possible that being here might make the decision to CTB a little more difficult, since interacting with people who understand your pain and won't judge you, can make you want to stick around longer than you thought. That is certainly the case for me.

 

[Bombastus]

I've tried taking anti-depressants as well, but yet here I am anyway. It sucks when we try to be happy and fix our problems, only for our efforts to backfire and we end up wanting out anyway, but at least we can say we tried, right? Now that you're here, I'm sure you will have no issues with finding a peaceful way out, since this is where I learned about SN.

Welcome to SS, I hope you enjoy your stay, no whether it's only for a few days, or for many years. It's possible that being here might make the decision to CTB a little more difficult, since interacting with people who understand your pain and won't judge you, can make you want to stick around longer than you thought. That is certainly the case for me.

Thanks for the welcome, I'm sure I'll find a lot of help here. And if being here makes me want to stick around a bit longer it can't be a bad thing

 

[Sobreviviente]

I feel what you are saying, I live on the 5th floor of an apartment building, many times I've tried drinking to the point I can work up the courage to jump off but the thought of getting paralysed and failing to die stops me no matter how out of my mind I get

Please don't ever try jumping. Personally I jumped under the train and ended up disabled, lost both of my legs. Moreover 5th floor might be not enough to ctb, I would say that probability to end up alive but with serious injuries is quite high.

 

[outrider567]

I feel what you are saying, I live on the 5th floor of an apartment building, many times I've tried drinking to the point I can work up the courage to jump off but the thought of getting paralysed and failing to die stops me no matter how out of my mind I get

Yeah I don't get it either, falling from a great height must be terrifying---and the 5th floor is not high enough anyway--I think at least 10 floors or higher for concrete landing--Google 'NYC suicides', the most dramatic one I remember was long ago when the AIDS epidemic was raging, and up until 1996, AIDS was a death sentence and an awful way to die--Two gay men wrapped each other together with their purple curtains, and they plunged 24 floors to their deaths--

 

[NobodyKnowsMe]

I wouldn't say to "not every jump", but if you are going to you need to make sure it is of sufficient height. At least 150 ft high over land (preferably over a hard concrete surface) and 250 ft if over water.

This thread has links to lots of resource info, including abbreviations:

https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/suicide-resource-compilation.3/