I’m needed but not wanted

[loslassen]

I'm currently dwelling over being there for people no matter how fucking low I am (again) and being unable to not do so, my sister vented to me and I had a good conversation with her, when I heard her ask "can I ask you something?" I was begging her to ask about me in my mind, pathetic, only to end up hugging her or talking about life and stuff, I'm so fucking lonely it aches, I am grateful for the people around me don't get me wrong, but the lack of interest and my inability to reach out and their lack of understanding makes me feel awful, my mind feels so numb and blocked again that I don't even remember why I'm still here after wanting to ctb so bad for a while, it's probably my brain just keeping me alive, because of the countless nights crying myself to sleep over how much I suffer.

 

[Slow_Farewell]

Well, we'd like to get to know you and understand you if you'd be willing to let us. I mean, doesn't have to be me, but im sure there are people here who you'd like..I dunno, connect with? who knows, we might surprise you.