Venting I'm meant to be alone

[I need peace]

I feel so lonely, I've been trying to talk to different people and make friends but at the end I always feel like I'm stalking/harassing them and being annoying, it feels like I'm a bad person to be around, and I truly don't know what I do so wrong

 

[FuneralCry]

I'm sorry that you are going through this. It must be so frustrating being in that situation, and I know that loneliness can be painful for many. Maybe if you are doing nothing wrong, then it could be the other people that are the problem. To me, people can be very disappointing. I wish you the best.

 

[outatime_85]

What is leading you to think people are annoyed with you?

What is leading you to think that you are someone that people do not want to be around?

Have the people you engage with specifically told you these things to your face?

Most people will let each other know if there is something they don't like or someone is annoying them.


That being said, maybe you can audit yourself, review your actions, and adjust accordingly.

Do you think you become very attached to people too fast and depend on them too much?

Do you find it hard for you to give people you like their space?

Do you constantly wonder what they are doing vs. just doing your own thing?

When the people you engage with set boundaries, does it bother you?

Do you overstep those boundaries?

I do not think anyone is meant to be alone.

I also do not think you should stop engaging with people you find interesting. However, you will have to be willing to adjust to people having boundaries and telling you there are things they will not tolerate from people they call friends, etc.

I may be off the mark here, and if I am, feel free to correct me.

Sorry for the rambling.

 

[I need peace]

What is leading you to think people are annoyed with you?

What is leading you to think that you are someone that people do not want to be around?

Have the people you engage with specifically told you these things to your face?

Most people will let each other know if there is something they don't like or someone is annoying them.


That being said, maybe you can audit yourself, review your actions, and adjust accordingly.

Do you think you become very attached to people too fast and depend on them too much?

Do you find it hard for you to give people you like their space?

Do you constantly wonder what they are doing vs. just doing your own thing?

When the people you engage with set boundaries, does it bother you?

Do you overstep those boundaries?

I do not think anyone is meant to be alone.

I also do not think you should stop engaging with people you find interesting. However, you will have to be willing to adjust to people having boundaries and telling you there are things they will not tolerate from people they call friends, etc.

I may be off the mark here, and if I am, feel free to correct me.

Sorry for the rambling.

No, you're right, kinda
I have borderline so I get attached real fast, create relationships in my head before they exist, but I don't let it show, I try to just be cool but it doesn't seem to work

 

[outatime_85]

No, you're right, kinda
I have borderline so I get attached real fast, create relationships in my head before they exist, but I don't let it show, I try to just be cool but it doesn't seem to work

Moving slower is usually the response to moving too fast, but my limited understanding of bpd indicates that it is hard for most people with it to take things slowly (impulsivity), etc.

That said, I think the alternative of just shutting yourself off to people is not a very good option either, as that can bring its own set of issues.

There must be some, I don't know, middle of the road where you can experience your life how and with whom you want.

Maybe some of the other members with a bit more experience with the subject at hand would be willing to chime in.

 

[Pluto]

If the symptoms of autism are relatable, that could give you a starting point for seeking support or resources.

In saying that, I am drawing the same conclusion regarding my own case. I have only experienced rejection or failing to authentically fit in anywhere. I would rather quit while I at least have a house and a clean conscience as a non-parent. Compromising to absolute extremes in order to pretend that I am lovable is not going to end well.