Venting im lying when i say i want to kms

[hmskms]

i keep saying that i want death and darkness, but in all honesty, i just want to wake up in a better place :v

i keep imagining myself waking up on a grassy bed in the middle of a jungle with no recollection of anything. just mild bewilderment and a hint of optimism.

anyone else feel the same?

 

[LaVieEnRose]

Is there any way you think you could find some semblance of that on this Earth? Because that's all we have.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

I 'd say most people here would not consider CTB if they found a solution for their personal problems that forces them to CTB sooner or later, me included.

 

[Cepi]

I think it's possible to have no recollection of your trauma and just be in this happy go lucky haze with a good distraction or job. That's what's working for me. Just find something you wanna do and work towards it and have this optimism that life may suck for me and maybe it always will, but everyday it'll get better just this tiny bit. Day by day the darkness will start to be illuminated by your courage to preserve in this tough situation but ultimately whether you decide to live or ctb you can at least say I lived life to the fullest and I'm proud of myself for that. I bet that level of satisfaction will be orgasmic and should give you encouragement to keep trying in this world. I've also heard having a method of ctb makes life easier for us cause you can choose to leave at anytime and feel like you're not trapped here. Anywho good luck

 

[Forever Sleep]

Yes, I do understand. I can imagine a carefree life. I can imagine all sorts. It would be awesome to be able to breath underwater and explore the ocean without having to pay for it. But it's fantasy for me. I know that even my more possible wishes like getting a financially stable job in the field I'm best at, trained in and comparitively enjoy is INCREDIBLY difficult and unlikely.

More than anything though- I'm sick of trying in this life. Even taking a break/ holiday is temporary and it requires money. The reality of most people's lives is scratching out a living and trying to distract themselves as much as possible- as far as I can see. For me- it's gotten to the point where I don't think anything would realistically be good enough to make this life worth it.

Still- I can't say I want to go through the process of death either! I'd just like to be able to painlessly disappear. Even better if people would forget I had even existed- it's not like I want to hurt people. It's so shit where all your options whether they be to do with living or dying look awful!

 

[Ｓanctioned Suicide]

Is there any way you think you could find some semblance of that on this Earth? Because that's all we have.

Can you define Semblance?