I'm looking for friends too

[KhLodyi]

I am looking for friends with whom I communicated at school and additional circles I lost contact because we communicated only because we were at school. I'm not very good at making friends, or rather, keeping in touch with them and maintaining a conversation. Maybe I've come across people who don't suit me, sometimes if the topic of conversation was interesting to me, I could keep the conversation going well, but it was rare.

I got the education that my parents wanted, but not me, I played sports that my parents also wanted, but not me, and I still live with my parents. My real desires are gradually fading and I'm thinking of ending my life, but I'm still hoping for the best.

I am 21 years old, I spend time in video games, because at least something works out in them, I constantly listen to music, sometimes I watch TV series \ movies.
Write, I will be glad to communicate with the world, even if it will not be long, maybe we'll even find common topics.


(if some phrases are strange, I just wrote with a translator)))

 

[anamikaa94]

Please fight these feelings now. Otherwise they will get worse with time. You are very young. I hope you find something that interest you.
I am here if you need a friend

 

[KhLodyi]

Please fight these feelings now. Otherwise they will get worse with time. You are very young. I hope you find something that interest you.
I am here if you need a friend

How to correspond? I don't think it will be convenient in this chat

 

[BornHated]

Spoiler: [Original Post]

I am looking for friends with whom I communicated at school and additional circles I lost contact because we communicated only because we were at school. I'm not very good at making friends, or rather, keeping in touch with them and maintaining a conversation. Maybe I've come across people who don't suit me, sometimes if the topic of conversation was interesting to me, I could keep the conversation going well, but it was rare.

I got the education that my parents wanted, but not me, I played sports that my parents also wanted, but not me, and I still live with my parents. My real desires are gradually fading and I'm thinking of ending my life, but I'm still hoping for the best.

I am 21 years old, I spend time in video games, because at least something works out in them, I constantly listen to music, sometimes I watch TV series \ movies.
Write, I will be glad to communicate with the world, even if it will not be long, maybe we'll even find common topics.


(if some phrases are strange, I just wrote with a translator)))

Hi there, I feel you. We have similar situations- I also had very controlling parents. It's horrible and lonely. I think having trustworthy friends to enjoy a mutual activity with has always helped me.

What's your first language? I also speak Spanish as a bilingual. I did learn German during my adolescence and have retained some ability with it.
I also really enjoy video games, mostly Nintendo Switch and Genshin Impact. If you think we have some game in common and would like to play, feel free to message me. :)
I also constantly listen to music! Do you have any songs you especially enjoy in your language? Favorite music genres, too? I like to share songs often.

 

[volnaya_pesnya]

I am looking for friends with whom I communicated at school and additional circles I lost contact because we communicated only because we were at school. I'm not very good at making friends, or rather, keeping in touch with them and maintaining a conversation. Maybe I've come across people who don't suit me, sometimes if the topic of conversation was interesting to me, I could keep the conversation going well, but it was rare.

I got the education that my parents wanted, but not me, I played sports that my parents also wanted, but not me, and I still live with my parents. My real desires are gradually fading and I'm thinking of ending my life, but I'm still hoping for the best.

I am 21 years old, I spend time in video games, because at least something works out in them, I constantly listen to music, sometimes I watch TV series \ movies.
Write, I will be glad to communicate with the world, even if it will not be long, maybe we'll even find common topics.


(if some phrases are strange, I just wrote with a translator)))

I understand how you feel about getting an education/going into a career that doesn't align with your interests. The way I'm trying to deal with it is by trying to find some sort of passion for the career path I now find myself in and just making the best of the situation. Unfortunately a LOT of people end up in careers that do not correspond to their actual passions, and as easy as it is to say "follow your dreams" this just isn't possible for a large portion, maybe even a majority of people. To be honest, if going back and studying something you actually feel passionate about isn't a realistic option for you, I'd just try to find some way to use your education to intersect with your interests as much as possible, and where they don't align try to find some positive aspect of what you're doing that can provide a degree of comfort for you long-term. Good luck my friend.

 

[KhLodyi]

Hi there, I feel you. We have similar situations- I also had very controlling parents. It's horrible and lonely. I think having trustworthy friends to enjoy a mutual activity with has always helped me.

What's your first language? I also speak Spanish as a bilingual. I did learn German during my adolescence and have retained some ability with it.
I also really enjoy video games, mostly Nintendo Switch and Genshin Impact. If you think we have some game in common and would like to play, feel free to message me. :)
I also constantly listen to music! Do you have any songs you especially enjoy in your language? Favorite music genres, too? I like to share songs often.

My native language is Russian, now I'm trying to learn English on my own, I studied German at school, but now I have lost the ability to do it.
I play on PC, mostly in warframe and battlefield 4.
I can't say which particular genre of music I like, I listen to different music, Now I'm listening to Jordan Critz, Mr. Kitty, Avicii, such genre as ambient and phonk, and various Russian - language songs

I understand how you feel about getting an education/going into a career that doesn't align with your interests. The way I'm trying to deal with it is by trying to find some sort of passion for the career path I now find myself in and just making the best of the situation. Unfortunately a LOT of people end up in careers that do not correspond to their actual passions, and as easy as it is to say "follow your dreams" this just isn't possible for a large portion, maybe even a majority of people. To be honest, if going back and studying something you actually feel passionate about isn't a realistic option for you, I'd just try to find some way to use your education to intersect with your interests as much as possible, and where they don't align try to find some positive aspect of what you're doing that can provide a degree of comfort for you long-term. Good luck my friend.

Thank you for a good answer, I want to go to study for the career I want, it seems to me that it's not too late, but I'm very sorry for how much time I missed doing what I didn't like

 

[anamikaa94]

How to correspond? I don't think it will be convenient in this chat

My whole life is what my parents wanted.Never actually had a chance to do what i wanted , now its too late for everything and all this brings me regret ,pain and guilt for being a coward . You are still young make a change now. Do what make you happy . I know its easier said than done. But atleast choose wisely what you want to study or do in life. Dont overthink about hurting your parents or anyone else feelings. Dont let ANYONE decide over your future.
If you dont wanna do anything they want you to do just be honest and tell them .i knoe they may not understand you but regrets are bigger than failures so try.
Find something you like : i used to read novels at your age. Now i am nore interesred in documentries and politics. If you like any of these let me know i will recommend some.

 

[KhLodyi]

My whole life is what my parents wanted.Never actually had a chance to do what i wanted , now its too late for everything and all this brings me regret ,pain and guilt for being a coward . You are still young make a change now. Do what make you happy . I know its easier said than done. But atleast choose wisely what you want to study or do in life. Dont overthink about hurting your parents or anyone else feelings. Dont let ANYONE decide over your future.
If you dont wanna do anything they want you to do just be honest and tell them .i knoe they may not understand you but regrets are bigger than failures so try.
Find something you like : i used to read novels at your age. Now i am nore interesred in documentries and politics. If you like any of these let me know i will recommend some.

Thank you for the answer, unfortunately, I have read few books and there was no interest in them, but one of the books that I really liked is "Shantaram" - a 2003 novel by Gregory David, both parts of it.
Sometimes I watch documentaries and would not refuse your selection)

 

[Domimi]

You and I have similiar backgrounds, i'm also 21y old and I spent most of my time listening to music, watching movies and playing games. I also live with my parents, though I used to be able to make money from home (don't know if it's your case). What are the things/topics that you like to talk about?

 

[KhLodyi]

You and I have similiar backgrounds, i'm also 21y old and I spent most of my time listening to music, watching movies and playing games. I also live with my parents, though I used to be able to make money from home (don't know if it's your case). What are the things/topics that you like to talk about?

I'm not working yet, I really want to do something, I've always thought of becoming a programmer and I also really like the synthesizer, but I haven't even tried playing it. But now my desire for death greatly outweighs my desire to live.
I haven't had long-term communication with people for a long time (more than six months). I communicate with random people on the internet, mainly helping beginners in games because I have reached the maximum rank))) But it won't be for long.
So it's hard for me to say what I like to talk about, because it's just heart to heart I haven't talked for a very long time. There's just no one to talk to.

 

[Unending]

I saw that you mentioned playing synth. I just started learning piano this year and have been enjoying it on and off.

 

[KhLodyi]

I saw that you mentioned playing synth. I just started learning piano this year and have been enjoying it on and off.

This is good, I would also like to learn to play keyboards, maybe even meet and play with someone from this chat, but now I need to somehow get out of the house and start doing something, for some reason I'm afraid to live))

 

[Unending]

This is good, I would also like to learn to play keyboards, maybe even meet and play with someone from this chat, but now I need to somehow get out of the house and start doing something, for some reason I'm afraid to live))

I understand where you're coming from, I'm definitely afraid to live too as my ability to hold down a job or maintain real life relationships has become increasingly poor over the last few years. I've just recently moved so I am desperately hoping that it will make my mental state better considering that I'll be around less people (my social anxiety is hard to manage even around those who I consider close friends).
Edit: I also wanted to add that since I haven't been able to overcome my fear of living a traditional life, I've been trying to learn how to live a different life that works for me even if it goes against the grain of societal norms. Easier said than done but I'm giving it my all to keep going because I'd like to experience more good things in my life if at all possible

 

[KhLodyi]

I understand where you're coming from, I'm definitely afraid to live too as my ability to hold down a job or maintain real life relationships has become increasingly poor over the last few years. I've just recently moved so I am desperately hoping that it will make my mental state better considering that I'll be around less people (my social anxiety is hard to manage even around those who I consider close friends).
Edit: I also wanted to add that since I haven't been able to overcome my fear of living a traditional life, I've been trying to learn how to live a different life that works for me even if it goes against the grain of societal norms. Easier said than done but I'm giving it my all to keep going because I'd like to experience more good things in my life if at all possible

I understand that life is very diverse, I would like to hear how you live and what you do (you can write to me in conversation) if it helped you, maybe I should try.
I hope you find a lot of good things)

 

[katara]

Hello! I'm not sure if you are still around but I just found this post so I thought I'd reach out to you. I don't really watch movies often, but I do listen to quite a lot of music and I play free online games sometime so I'm open to talk about these things.
I don't currently have any friends and I am assuming you don't either hence why you posted here. I can't say I'm the most interesting person to talk to because I honestly don't really ever have anything going on in my life, but I'm willing to talk and see if we get along. I think your profile picture is really cool looking. It reminds me of a painting you'd see in a gothic house. It actually reminds me of a horror game I played when I was younger.
I'd write on your profile but when I click on your account it's blocked, so feel free to send me a message anytime. Sense you like music do you have a Spotify? You could send me your playlist and I'll check it out and follow you on there :)

 

[KhLodyi]

Hello! I'm not sure if you are still around but I just found this post so I thought I'd reach out to you. I don't really watch movies often, but I do listen to quite a lot of music and I play free online games sometime so I'm open to talk about these things.
I don't currently have any friends and I am assuming you don't either hence why you posted here. I can't say I'm the most interesting person to talk to because I honestly don't really ever have anything going on in my life, but I'm willing to talk and see if we get along. I think your profile picture is really cool looking. It reminds me of a painting you'd see in a gothic house. It actually reminds me of a horror game I played when I was younger.
I'd write on your profile but when I click on your account it's blocked, so feel free to send me a message anytime. Sense you like music do you have a Spotify? You could send me your playlist and I'll check it out and follow you on there :)

Hello, unfortunately, I am still here in this world, I would be happy to talk to you, but you have restrictions in your profile on the circle of persons.