I’m just going to leave these here

[goodoldnoname923]

My memory is so foggy about this…but all i do remember is this is what made me seek out therapy and spent months trying to reflect on myself…at some point…i ended up thinking it was him who caused this but now…i feel this should be evident enough that…i was delusional…yet some small part of me believes it and i wish i could let go of that delusion because if i could get rid of that i would be able to do what i need too…take full responsibility and leave this earth behind

Judge me as harshly as you may i don't want words of kindness because i want this to be the catalyst for me tonight…i really do

 

[cetacea]

your father sounds truly awful. asking you to make friends in his stead is bizarre. that isnt normal, his behavior isnt normal or OK. you aren't delusional, he is crazy and making you think you're crazy when you're not.

 

[goodoldnoname923]

your father sounds truly awful. asking you to make friends in his stead is bizarre. that isnt normal, his behavior isnt normal or OK. you aren't delusional, he is crazy and making you think you're crazy when you're not.

No no no no you have misread these messages massively although you don't know my story

This is my friend blue (my special person who left 6 months ago) describing me she breifly compared me to her father…this is all about me buddy

Thats why i'm waiting and need to go

 

[cetacea]

No no no no you have misread these messages massively although you don't know my story

This is my friend blue (my special person who left 6 months ago) describing me she breifly compared me to her father…this is all about me buddy

Thats why i'm waiting and need to go

I apologize, I assumed the messages were from you. I think I was confused by the phrasing and I assumed "he" was referring to her father as I never saw another name or title pop up other than Lucy.

I can't tell you whether or not you really did those things. That's for you to decide. I have been in a similar situation. Someone very special to me left me July 2022 and said things like this, to my face. May I ask you how often you still think about your friend?

 

[goodoldnoname923]

I apologize, I assumed the messages were from you. I think I was confused by the phrasing and I assumed "he" was referring to her father as I never saw another name or title pop up other than Lucy.

I can't tell you whether or not you really did those things. That's for you to decide. I have been in a similar situation. Someone very special to me left me July 2022 and said things like this, to my face. May I ask you how often you still think about your friend?

I definitely did everything she mentioned as hurtful as it is to say and admit and i think about her every fucking day and she left back in mid December 2023 i even woke up this morning thinking how terrible i was to her before opening SS now

 

[itsneverbeenmoreove]

I feel like I'm looking in a mirror with some of this. Specifically the first image seems like it could've been written by my partner who just left me. Because I did constantly do the "I'm sorry" and then I do it again. I did frequently forget about conflicts we've had in the past. She did have a lot of trauma to do with her father. The thing is, like me, she is also extremely mentally ill. She has trauma that she hasn't treated that causes her to hyperfocus on negatives.

Now, I can't say if this is the same for you. I don't have that context. But I do know that initially I entirely blamed myself (as she blamed me), but as I've spent time, I've begun to view things a little more balanced. I don't know if that at all applies to you. But for me, while I still believe that I was a pretty shitty partner who was emotionally manipulative and inconsiderate and mean, I wasn't a monster. But again, that's me.

For you, it could be that you did everything wrong. I'm not going to deny that possibility. But that you have been willing to try and work on yourself indicates to me that you are not solely responsible. I don't know the context of your relationship, but people who are blameless don't write like what you've shown here. Whatever this person was to you, they clearly contributed. Might you have been more at fault? That's possible. I know I was more at fault than my partner. But like I can't reasonably say I was a monster, I cannot judge you a monster. Manipulative and mean? That's a possibility. Maybe even toxic. But I dont think I can provide you the condemnation you want.

Take that as you will, but those are my genuine thoughts. I'm sorry if this isn't what you were looking for, but given how strongly I see myself in some of these descriptions, I feel it necessary to give you feedback like that I've received.

 

[cetacea]

I definitely did everything she mentioned as hurtful as it is to say and admit and i think about her every fucking day and she left back in mid December 2023 i even woke up this morning thinking how terrible i was to her before opening SS now

I thought about the person who left me every day as well. I thought about them every waking moment and that's not an exaggeration. The only way I was able to think about something else was being prescribed meds. I don't know if it will work for you, but it is an option for you to find some peace. I'm so sorry for your pain. It is hard to carry blame like this.