S
Spyro24
Member
- Jun 24, 2022
- 68
I'm on vacation right now but I can't help but feel terrible. Terrible might be the wrong word... just empty. There is nothing left to feel, no tears left to cry, absolutely nothing. I want to cry but I can't cry anymore.
I wish people would stop treating me like a toy, something they use when they need it and throw away when they no longer need it. It amazes me how many times I've had to go through the same exact thing over and over again. I trust someone, we become close and then they use me and throw me away. Maybe I'm just the problem. It feels like I have no desirable traits except maybe that I'm easily manipulated or some shit. I've resorted to eating when I feel bad and it has caused me to gain weight, making me even less desirable and even more of a laughing stock. I'm scared to death of meeting new people now just because I fear they will use me too.
I met someone on SS and thank god I did because she is the only thing holding me together and probably the only reason I haven't ctb yet. Even then I feel like I will eventually lose her too.
Apologies for the terrible post... I start thinking about what I want to write and then I end up forgetting most of it.
I wish people would stop treating me like a toy, something they use when they need it and throw away when they no longer need it. It amazes me how many times I've had to go through the same exact thing over and over again. I trust someone, we become close and then they use me and throw me away. Maybe I'm just the problem. It feels like I have no desirable traits except maybe that I'm easily manipulated or some shit. I've resorted to eating when I feel bad and it has caused me to gain weight, making me even less desirable and even more of a laughing stock. I'm scared to death of meeting new people now just because I fear they will use me too.
I met someone on SS and thank god I did because she is the only thing holding me together and probably the only reason I haven't ctb yet. Even then I feel like I will eventually lose her too.
Apologies for the terrible post... I start thinking about what I want to write and then I end up forgetting most of it.