Help I'm incredibly lonely and it's unbearable, but I'm such a nervous person it's hard to make friends

[R.E.N.]

Closeness in this day and age is more difficult to attain. Even normals realize this, hence the "loneliness" epidemic is coined even from scientific professionals. There is no objective method to getting friends--it's all RNG via circumstances. Kind of like molecules colliding with the right energy, orientation, and place. Likewise, all you can really do is put yourself in situations where this kind of "collision" can happen. Online forums to trade contact information probably is the easiest for you to connect from, but the nuance is that those kind of people are even more fickle with bonding and be flakey. I don't know your circumstances IRL to suggest really anything that is surefire, but volunteering, studios (e.g. art, dance, cooking), and cons/events seem like places where you can meet people and hopefully start it off from there. In real life, it is hard to come to an event where shy people also frequent because by the definition it is contradictory (maybe a dorky kind of con tho). It is all up to luck and your courage to push through your shyness/anxiety however.

 

[enough of this]

I absolutely need friends, but whenever I'm in public or talk to anyone I don't already know I'm an absolute nervous wreck. Whenever I try to make friends online, they usually stop talking to me over a period of time or have no interest in back and forth conversation (leading to a one-sided questionnaire until I stop asking questions). I'm literally shaking some times talking/texting anyone online, in person, or over a phone. Especially strangers or anyone of the opposite sex. I would kill to have a small group of friends (let alone one person) to play games with and talk with like I used to. Maybe people confuse my lack of some areas of conversation as disinterest? I used to make so many friends so easily, but as time passes I get more shy.

It's so irritating, I feel like I don't belong anywhere. Is there any advice to where I can find shy people like me or people who are more open to someone like me?

I'm interested in talking with you. We share many of the same feelings and fears. I can be a wreck in public conversation, too.
I'm getting better, but progress is very slow. Maybe that's the only way it can happen. And yes, I would enjoy talking with you.
Please feel free to be in touch.

 

[Daft-Bear]

My DM's are open if you wanna be friends

 

[Stylite]

It is impossible to know anyone simply because we don't and can't express everything that's in us.

I agree wholeheartedly with all you said, but on this particular note- that is precisely what Tyutchev meant in his poem, "Silentium!". But that's not to say the poem was unoptimistic, as it does also say:

"Live in your inner self alone
Within your soul a world has grown"

and

"Speak not, lie hidden, and conceal
The way you dream, the things you feel.
Deep in your spirit let them rise
Akin to stars in crystal skies"

Don't expect anyone to ever know you fully and truly for who you are. They likely never will, the best they can get is close enough, but never fully there. You shouldn't count on that.

But that's alright, because you can let your soul be beautiful, a shining diamond you're proud of. Don't take this as a reason to close yourself off from being virtuous and good. You should be good, only to know that you are good, and to be content with your own actions, because at the end of the line, you should be at peace knowing you've done what you think is right. I tell you all this, but know I'm more misanthropic than not, so it's very hard for me to try to be "virtuous" in most cases as I'm usually a very judging, hateful person. You can always chat to me, though, if you want. I'm always open for conversation.