gnomeboy17
Specialist
- Feb 11, 2020
- 355
An ad came on about a girl who just came out of chemo and everyone was clapping for her and telling her they're really proud.
I didn't kill myself. But no one notices enough to be proud of me. No one claps or cheers, I just have people being like "why you so grumpy all the time?"
I just really can't wait to get bad again so I finally do it. I can't deal with how people treat every other medical condition apart from mental health. The brief times I have talked to professionals they just say something like "oh well there's no need to kill yourself, it'll get better :) " WHEN ffs.
I feel so narcissistic for wanting someone to care. I wish I could tell someone that I purchased everything I needed and was going to kill myself, but didn't, and have them be like "wow I'm so proud of you for waking up everyday and keep living!" And have someone understand that even though I'm not actively suicidal, I'm still very depressed and still don't want to be alive.
But no one does, and never will.
It's disgusting that I saw something about a cancer survivor and all I thought about was myself. As if I don't already have enough reasons to hate myself, guess I just got one more.
I didn't kill myself. But no one notices enough to be proud of me. No one claps or cheers, I just have people being like "why you so grumpy all the time?"
I just really can't wait to get bad again so I finally do it. I can't deal with how people treat every other medical condition apart from mental health. The brief times I have talked to professionals they just say something like "oh well there's no need to kill yourself, it'll get better :) " WHEN ffs.
I feel so narcissistic for wanting someone to care. I wish I could tell someone that I purchased everything I needed and was going to kill myself, but didn't, and have them be like "wow I'm so proud of you for waking up everyday and keep living!" And have someone understand that even though I'm not actively suicidal, I'm still very depressed and still don't want to be alive.
But no one does, and never will.
It's disgusting that I saw something about a cancer survivor and all I thought about was myself. As if I don't already have enough reasons to hate myself, guess I just got one more.
