Venting I’m growing more hostile towards people who care about me.

[flyingtopluto]

I have to admit that I do feel guilty for pushing everyone is my life away, but I just want to be left alone until I CTB. After my last attempt, which sent me to a mental facility for a week, I've found my mental health deteriorating by the minute and my family has been trying to push me back on track. However, I simply lack the motivation to try to be productive again. I don't want to play catch-up when I give up so easily. I regret not making the right decisions in the past and it constantly eats me out alive whenever I reminisce on what could've been. My family has been nothing but supportive; I am aware that I'm blessed to have such good people in my life. I truly don't deserve them, which is one of the reasons why I am so self-destructive. By no means am I blaming them for my problems, I know that my actions led to who I am today.

 

[Un-]

I know how you feel.. I'm trying to recover, but when I get really, really down, I avoid everyone.. I wish I could offer advice, but I'm exactly like you. It's so depressing when it feels like we can only die.. I hope the best for you.

 

[FuneralCry]

It's understandable, at least to me wishing to be left alone. People can be tiring even if they mean well and of course others cannot see this existence from our point of view. The reality is that some people just don't want to suffer anymore and yet so many people in this world refuse to come to terms with this and insist that life must always be prolonged, even if the person doesn't want to be here anymore. But I certainly understand having no motivation to carry on existing, I never really have done at all, there is nothing desirable about existing at all to me.

 

[Teddybear]

Depression is a single child that loathes any company beyond its own.

 

[locked*n*loaded]

It's completely understandable to want to push people away so as to potentially lessen the hurt on them.