Venting I'm gonna attempt in a few days.

[ExtraordinaryDefeat_]

I feel so hopeless, so broken, so lonely, so defeated. Please, may somebody talk to me... I just can't, I can't do this anymore...

 

[Celerity]

What has happened in your life to bring you to this point? It sounds like you are in the midst of a crisis with your timeline.

 

[ExtraordinaryDefeat_]

What has happened in your life to bring you to this point? It sounds like you are in the midst of a crisis with your timeline.

My helplessness and hopelessness. I walk through the ashes of my passions and I know that I will never be like other people my age. I will never be truly happy. I'm a lonely human wreck who was left behind and destroyed by the system. I have always had high ambitions but that led to me comparing myself to the others and because of that, I can't move a muscle. I'm paralyzed. I'm useless and I need to vanish ASAP. I don't want to see myself in the mirror anymore.

 

[FinalDestination]

My helplessness and hopelessness. I walk through the ashes of my passions and I know that I will never be like other people my age. I will never be truly happy. I'm a lonely human wreck who was left behind and destroyed by the system. I have always had high ambitions but that led to me comparing myself to the others and because of that, I can't move a muscle. I'm paralyzed. I'm useless and I need to vanish ASAP. I don't want to see myself in the mirror anymore.

I feel similar to you on some of that. I'm just lagging behind everyone else and I just can't ever bring myself to do anything.
Comparison can be the worst though and a hard cycle to escape. If you ever want to talk I'm here just pm me

 

[Celerity]

My helplessness and hopelessness. I walk through the ashes of my passions and I know that I will never be like other people my age. I will never be truly happy. I'm a lonely human wreck who was left behind and destroyed by the system. I have always had high ambitions but that led to me comparing myself to the others and because of that, I can't move a muscle. I'm paralyzed. I'm useless and I need to vanish ASAP. I don't want to see myself in the mirror anymore.

How old are you? What ambitious did you have, and why are they out of reach?

 

[ExtraordinaryDefeat_]

How old are you? What ambitious did you have, and why are they out of reach?

I'm 18 and I want to become civilian airlines pilot and also be a very healthy person (physically). The thing is I'm very ineficient at math and all the topics needed to be a pilot and also I'm so suicidal I don't have any strenghs left to start improving my life. My "demon" is draining all my energy, I'm just its fodder and nothing more. I'm just a fodder at this state. I'm paralyzed.

 

[Celerity]

I'm 18 and I want to become civilian airlines pilot and also be a very healthy person (physically). The thing is I'm very ineficient at math and all the topics needed to be a pilot and also I'm so suicidal I don't have any strenghs left to start improving my life. My "demon" is draining all my energy, I'm just its fodder and nothing more. I'm just a fodder at this state. I'm paralyzed.

I am 10 years older than you. I won't say it gets better - obviously, if I thought it did, I wouldn't be here - but I will say that there is a huge difference between what I want to do now for work and what I wanted when I was 18.

Have you talked about how you feel to anybody you know?

 

[ExtraordinaryDefeat_]

I am 10 years older than you. I won't say it gets better - obviously, if I thought it did, I wouldn't be here - but I will say that there is a huge difference between what I want to do now for work and what I wanted when I was 18.

Have you talked about how you feel to anybody you know?

Yes, two therapist and almost a year on meds. Nothing worked, not even shrooms. My family is powerless against my disorders.

 

[Celerity]

Yes, two therapist and almost a year on meds. Nothing worked, not even shrooms. My family is powerless against my disorders.

What kind of meds for which disorders?

 

[ExtraordinaryDefeat_]

What kind of meds for which disorders?

risperidone, venlafaxine, lamotrix. Risperidone is for OCD, Venlafaxine is an SNRI and lamotrix for CHAD

 

[Celerity]

risperidone, venlafaxine, lamotrix. Risperidone is for OCD, Venlafaxine is an SNRI and lamotrix for CHAD

I have no been on this medications before and am only familiar with OCD. What is the other disorder?

 

[ExtraordinaryDefeat_]

I have no been on this medications before and am only familiar with OCD. What is the other disorder?

CHAD
"A group of recurrent mental disorders in which depressive and manic or hypomanic syndromes occur, separated (or not) by symptom-free periods. These states can change from day to day. Bipolar affective disorder is incurable. Treatment is limited to medications to alleviate its course. A complete cure is not possible with current medical knowledge. A diagnosis of bipolar affective disorder can be made when a person has at least two affective episodes: depression, hypomania, mania, or mixed, and at least one of these episodes was not a depressive episode. If there is a recurrence of a depressive episode without mania, hypomania, or a mixed episode, a diagnosis of unipolar affective disorder (recurrent depressive disorder) is made."

 

[Celerity]

CHAD
"A group of recurrent mental disorders in which depressive and manic or hypomanic syndromes occur, separated (or not) by symptom-free periods. These states can change from day to day. Bipolar affective disorder is incurable. Treatment is limited to medications to alleviate its course. A complete cure is not possible with current medical knowledge. A diagnosis of bipolar affective disorder can be made when a person has at least two affective episodes: depression, hypomania, mania, or mixed, and at least one of these episodes was not a depressive episode. If there is a recurrence of a depressive episode without mania, hypomania, or a mixed episode, a diagnosis of unipolar affective disorder (recurrent depressive disorder) is made."

So basically a more general form of bipolar disorder?

 

[ExtraordinaryDefeat_]

So basically a more general form of bipolar disorder?

CHAD is a bipolar disorder.

 

[LONE WOLF.]

@ExtraordinaryDefeat_ l feel your pain and am so sorry you're going through this! Let's start with your Demon You are in charge of your life not 'your demon'! Kick the buggers backside up behind its ears and stick a Crucifix onto its forehead,the indent will be burnt onto there for all time then order it to begone from you and your home for all eternity, it and others of it's kind are unwelcome and You banish the unholy unclean monster back to the bowels of hell from whence it came! Smudge your home using a white Sage Stick (do every room and place a line of salt along your front doorstep to prevent it attempting to return which it will! But You are the master of your own destiny not some bastard hellspawn! I send you Positive energy and a Big Old Hug! And my Dog sends you a Friendly Woof! I will light a white candle for you as soon as darkness falls my friend, Be Strong

 

[FuneralCry]

Living really is painful, I'm sorry to hear you are suffering so much. I wish you well.