I’m going to do it, i think? I don’t know what to do anymore

[idkanymore365]

I'm done. I'm going to a bridge tonight. I have no idea if I have the guts to jump but I can't carry on anymore so I don't have any other options left. I am so desperate for things to stop.

 

[verloren]

I would recommend to check if it's high enough before you jump.
As i remember if water at least 100m and 70m on ground should be ok

 

[logan]

I hope you will find another way out of your situation.

 

[FinalDestination]

I'm sorry your feeling this way. Just know if you get there and it doesn't feel time, you can still step away. Best to be sure and not rush especially if that's the method your set on.

 

[FuneralCry]

Life really can be cruel to us and I know what it is like to feel desperate. No matter what happens, I hope you can find some relief.

 

[WornOutLife]

If I were in your shoes, I would analyse all the options and consequences of failing.
Just be make sure to be 100% sure you wanna do this.

I'm sorry life has brought you to this point.

Whatever happens, I wish you lots of love and peace.

Hugs,

Matt

 

[lanax09]

If you decide to do it, I wish you a peaceful passing and I'm sorry it came to this; If you don't, I hope you can find recovery. I understand and support your decision either way.

 

[idkanymore365]

I'm just sat at the top and im so scared. It's remote so I don't have to worry about being found but I am too scared to push myself over the top. Help please. I don't know what to do. I need to do this. Someone please tell me how to get past the fear. I can't come away from here. I hate my life. I need this to work. Please someone tell me how to make myself do it

 

[Joplin]

I'm just sat at the top and im so scared. It's remote so I don't have to worry about being found but I am too scared to push myself over the top. Help please. I don't know what to do. I need to do this. Someone please tell me how to get past the fear. I can't come away from here. I hate my life. I need this to work. Please someone tell me how to make myself do it

Breathe. What do you see in front of you?

Breathe. What do you see in front of you?

I'm sorry it's come to this. Take a look around you. Take a moment to connect to the scenery. But before you go take some time to take in this world and life. What do you see. Where are you standing?

 

[idkanymore365]

Breathe. What do you see in front of you?

I'm at the top and there's just fields around me. It's over a train line. There's a motorway not far away but with trees I front of it. Im panicking because I don't know how to build up the courage even though I really don't want to live anymore. Help me please how do I do it

 

[logan]

Please give you a little more time to think about a solution or to have a good plan to go.

 

[LastLoveLetter]

Please consider allowing yourself more time. If you decide death is definitely what you want, you deserve a peaceful passing, not to die in desperation and fear. I am so sorry you are in this situation. Regardless of what you choose, I hope you find peace. Know that there is never any shame in staying, and that this community will be here for you whatever happens.

 

[idkanymore365]

Please give you a little more time to think about a solution or to have a good plan to go.

I can't. I can't face another day like this. I need to end it tonight. I don't know what to do, I'm panicking I'm just sat here crying and it's going dark and I can't build up the courage to do it but I can't go home. I'm scared of living and I'm scared of dying so what's do I do? I'm trapped up here until I built up the guts

Please consider allowing yourself more time. If you decide death is definitely what you want, you deserve a peaceful passing, not to die in desperation and fear. I am so sorry you are in this situation. Regardless of what you choose, I hope you find peace. Know that there is never any shame in staying, and that this community will be here for you whatever happens.

I can't stay. Things are too hard. I need things to end tonight.i can't live another day like this. I'm so scared. I can't get myself to jump. It's getting dark and I don't know what to do. Help I can't go home

 

[logan]

I can really understand you - feel like you. Can not live and not die.
Take your time to sit there. Crying is ok and maybe help you.
Try to arrange you thoughts - you can pass another day too - with a clear plan.
This is not the right mental state to do it.

 

[idkanymore365]

If anyone wants an update, I was found by police. I'm now waiting to be assessed to be sectioned. I hate this. I wish I'd done it. I've just made things a thousand times worse for myself. I don't understand how people can seriously think it's ok to force people to live fucking horrible lives. Thank you all for your comments. I've no idea how's police found me. It was pitch black in the middle of a public footpath on a field. No trains as they stop around 8 where I am. Possibly from the motorway? But I thought it was too far away.

 

[logan]

I'm sorry about that and it makes the situation even more messed up.
Basically, it is not forbidden to sit somewhere at night as long as you do not do anything illegal.
I hope you quickly come to peace and find a way.

 

[Joplin]

I'm so sorry that I was not available to respond. Seems we are at very different time zones. I'm so sorry to hear you feel so scared and cannot go on.

I know this sucks and must be absolutely terrifying. Just know that this sectioning too will pass and you have time to make a rational decision on how you want to exit if you still do want to after you are out.
Survival will always kick in and your method of choice makes it so hard and painful. Give yourself some time to process this. You don't have to make any decision now or answer all your life's questions at this moment.
take the break in hospital, there will always be other moments to exit.
thinking about you. You're not alone.

 

[idkanymore365]

I'm sorry about that and it makes the situation even more messed up.
Basically, it is not forbidden to sit somewhere at night as long as you do not do anything illegal.
I hope you quickly come to peace and find a way.

Exactly, I did nothing illegal and was treated like a criminal for not being able to carry on living. Thank you for your kind words, I really appreciate it.

I'm so sorry that I was not available to respond. Seems we are at very different time zones. I'm so sorry to hear you feel so scared and cannot go on.

I know this sucks and must be absolutely terrifying. Just know that this sectioning too will pass and you have time to make a rational decision on how you want to exit if you still do want to after you are out.
Survival will always kick in and your method of choice makes it so hard and painful. Give yourself some time to process this. You don't have to make any decision now or answer all your life's questions at this moment.
take the break in hospital, there will always be other moments to exit.
thinking about you. You're not alone.

Thank you for your kind words, I really appreciate it. I feel like such a failure but survival is so hard to overcome like you said. I'm trying to remember that I can always ctb when I get out, makes things easier to deal with. Thank you

 

[logan]

Exactly, I did nothing illegal and was treated like a criminal for not being able to carry on living. Thank you for your kind words, I really appreciate it.

Thank you for your kind words, I really appreciate it. I feel like such a failure but survival is so hard to overcome like you said. I'm trying to remember that I can always ctb when I get out, makes things easier to deal with. Thank you

With pleasure. What are you going to do now? Can someone in your environment help you?

 

[idkanymore365]

With pleasure. What are you going to do now? Can someone in your environment help you?

I am still detained in the hospital waiting to be assessed. They will either let me go home "with support" or put me in a psych ward. I'm hoping for the former obviously. I've been feeling like I have for at least 3 years if not longer. I need a way out because I know things will not get better. My sister is supportive of me but lives far away. Everyone else in my life thinks I'm fine. I'm 19 now so thankfully no matter what happens they will legally not be able to tell my mother which is a good thing as our relationship is very rocky.

 

[logan]

I am still detained in the hospital waiting to be assessed. They will either let me go home "with support" or put me in a psych ward. I'm hoping for the former obviously. I've been feeling like I have for at least 3 years if not longer. I need a way out because I know things will not get better. My sister is supportive of me but lives far away. Everyone else in my life thinks I'm fine. I'm 19 now so thankfully no matter what happens they will legally not be able to tell my mother which is a good thing as our relationship is very rocky.

Hopefully you don't have to go to a psychiatric hospital - that often doesn't help and you're often very isolated.
Maybe it is helpful if your mother knows how bad you feel. Often such events lead to a change in thinking. And then you can come to rest at home.
Maybe you can also stay with your sister for a while.
I hope that everything will be all right for you - you are still so young.

 

[mineko]

I'm sorry that you are going through this. Be sure to keep us updated.

 

[idkanymore365]

Hopefully you don't have to go to a psychiatric hospital - that often doesn't help and you're often very isolated.
Maybe it is helpful if your mother knows how bad you feel. Often such events lead to a change in thinking. And then you can come to rest at home.
Maybe you can also stay with your sister for a while.
I hope that everything will be all right for you - you are still so young.

Thank you I appreciate it. I've been released from hospital now thank god. I also think visiting my sister would be a good idea for a little while. Thanks for talking to me through this, it's a really lonely process to go through tbh so I really appreciate it :)

I'm sorry that you are going through this. Be sure to keep us updated.

Thank you. I've been released from the hospital. I'm under a team that will come to my house everyday for a week or so. I'm just glad they didn't section me. Not sure what to do now though, back to being trapped in the same life :/

 

[idkanymore365]

I'm sorry that you are going through this. Be sure to keep us updated.

The community team came and saw me and decided to admit me :/ so am now in hospital. I'm very scared and don't know what to do to be honest

 

[logan]

Are you now in a regular hospital or a psychiatric hospital?
When can you go home again?
I hope you are doing well under the circumstances.
Can you at least talk on the phone, for example with your sister?

 

[idkanymore365]

Are you now in a regular hospital or a psychiatric hospital?
When can you go home again?
I hope you are doing well under the circumstances.
Can you at least talk on the phone, for example with your sister?

They have put me in a psych hospital. I have no idea when I will be allowed home or even to leave - they told me it is up to the psychiatrist who will be in tomorrow. I can talk on the phone yes so that is good. I'm not allowed my charger but the nurse in charge is letting me charge it in the office when it gets low. Honestly I'm terrified, I still feel so suicidal and need an end to it all but know it is completely ridiculous to try and attempt anything in here. Thanks for the message, I appreciate it because I feel so alone at the moment

 

[logan]

They have put me in a psych hospital. I have no idea when I will be allowed home or even to leave - they told me it is up to the psychiatrist who will be in tomorrow. I can talk on the phone yes so that is good. I'm not allowed my charger but the nurse in charge is letting me charge it in the office when it gets low. Honestly I'm terrified, I still feel so suicidal and need an end to it all but know it is completely ridiculous to try and attempt anything in here. Thanks for the message, I appreciate it because I feel so alone at the moment

I was afraid that you would not be allowed to go straight home.
And they will probably let you go only when they think that you will not harm yourself.
Maybe your mother or your sister can visit you at least for a short time.
Are there other patients there with whom you can have a meaningful conversation?
My thoughts are with you - hang in there

 

[idkanymore365]

I was afraid that you would not be allowed to go straight home.
And they will probably let you go only when they think that you will not harm yourself.
Maybe your mother or your sister can visit you at least for a short time.
Are there other patients there with whom you can have a meaningful conversation?
My thoughts are with you - hang in there

Yeah, there are other patients but I'm quite anxious so haven't really had the chance to speak to them yet.
I am speaking to the psychiatrist today and he will apparently discuss leave, visitors, discharge and all of that. I hope I'm not here long, it's really busy and chaotic, and it's really stressing me out to be honest.
Thank you, that means a lot :) I'm trying

 

[logan]

Yeah, there are other patients but I'm quite anxious so haven't really had the chance to speak to them yet.
I am speaking to the psychiatrist today and he will apparently discuss leave, visitors, discharge and all of that. I hope I'm not here long, it's really busy and chaotic, and it's really stressing me out to be honest.
Thank you, that means a lot :) I'm trying

This is an exceptional situation.
It now depends on how the therapist decides and what you discuss with him.
I would say in any case that you are better at home and thus shorten the stay as much as possible.