Venting I’m going to die

[deletedaccount30982]

For anyone who doesn't know me, I've been here since December 2020. I've had a few failed attempts, I have been hospitalized and in a residential treatment center, and received lots and lots of therapy since I joined but it has all been futile. All of that is just since I've joined, I've had more attempts and lots and lots more treatment before joining that also failed to work. As of a couple months ago however, I have developed health issues, it got so severe I was intubated in a coma for a few days last month. I did not have the opportunity to refuse treatment as I was brought into the hospital unconscious. I've been medically stabilized with medication, so I am okay for now, however I have also fully relapsed into my eating disorder. These two issues combined are very dangerous as my health is already teetering on the edge, and I know it isn't long before my eating disorder completely throws things out of a safe range. I am not actively suicidal right now, I am actually enjoying life and have a lot of things going for me, but I do not fear death either. I am going to die within the next year if I do not treat my eating disorder, however I do not care to get help for it. Maybe my body will do the work for me and I can avoid having to kill myself.

 

[d3c4y]

I'm sorry that your life has been so hard.. I hope you find the peace you're looking for

 

[SmollMushroom]

I'm not sure about your intentions and I didn't fully understand the severity of your illness too, but know that if you ever want to talk to someone, you will always be welcome here. I wish you the best!