i dont even know what to do anymore, does everything i like even matter, does everything even matter at all? im going insane right now
Breathe!
You can bet that most everyone in this forum has felt just what you described at least once... That is why we are here. You don't matter and nothing you do matters....IF you choose to accept that.
Breathe!
My life sucks the most when I am looking for someone to fulfill me. When I am looking to fulfill someone else... That is when I find purpose. That is not easy, but it is worth it. My most suicidal moments come when I feel alone, worthless, outcast, or hopeless.
We are all still here because we really do want connection. We really do want purpose.
It is when I stop looking in the mirror and start looking at others that I feel anything matters. That is when I believe I matter. It is not easy. And I return to the top of the bridge from time to time just begging for the courage to jump. What a cycle.
But I am still here, still looking for connection... Longing for purpose.