Terry A. Davis

Terry A. Davis

Member
Aug 28, 2023
67
I've recently started a new job. I'm going to kick the arse out of it and hope I somehow find happiness and fulfillment from it.

But i'm under no illusions. Life isnt going to be smooth sailing this year and if anything, it might be the most difficult year of my life so far. I can feel it in my bones its going to be incredibly difficult.

I'm doing well at the job so far but it's a viper den of gossping liars and jealous people. I have to put on an act at this place and pretend to be another personality. I am trying to show my bosses that I am capable as soon as I can to hopefully get a promotion and have less work to do (which is what would happen).

I will also try to get another girlfriend this year and theres one girl at work I get on with quite well. I'm more than willing to give it a shot if it happens because as I said, if everything goes wrong then i'll just ctb and get it over and done with. Don't give a shit about relationships at work issues or whatever anymore.



It's freeing in a way because I fully realised this year that life is an illusion and we are fucked up because we think we exist as seperate people. It's hard to describe but I genuinely believe humans are supposed to experience life like a cat or dog or other wild animal. Just playing and experiencing this mad trip called life having no concept of ego (other than self defence) or ideas of language or competition and success. Humanity has been mentally ill for thousands of years. It's not recent in my opinion. Making cities is an incredibly mentally ill thing for humans to do. It's like a corruption of our need to connect with one another. Humans feel an incredible need to connect which is healthy and good. But the creation of cities throws so many more people into a single space than we can cope with and so we feel more disconnected than ever.

But yeah. We're supposed to expeirence life like a cat just playing eating shitting and fucking. Even talking to eachother is just gibberish we all understand. Your language is gibberish to my ears and if English wasnt so well known I would sound as though I speak gibberish to yours.

Idk where im going with this but yeah. Giving it another shot. Wish me luck.
 
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unabletocope

I'd like to shut down
Mar 13, 2024
728
Good for you. I'm the opposite, 2024 is the year I've finally collapsed, I was homeless at the start of the year and that turned out even worse for me and once some longstanding issues out of that have been sorted I'm going to overdose, I think I have figured out my combination. I wish you the best and hope you make it work
 
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divinemistress36

divinemistress36

Illuminated
Jan 1, 2024
3,276
Hell yes I'm proud of you
 
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IwannaDazai

IwannaDazai

Member
Mar 3, 2024
13
Hell yeah!! I think it's gonna work out for you. You know it'll be hard at first but you're still willing to try. And people who go after things (job, girl, trophy, whatever) like they have nothing to lose tend to excel. You got thisssss <3
 
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goldenbananagirl

Member
Apr 5, 2024
62
So proud of you!
Microdosing is what made me have similar realizations. I'm only considering ctb now due to severe chronic illnesses that have diminished my quality of life.
 
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divinemistress36

divinemistress36

Illuminated
Jan 1, 2024
3,276
So proud of you!
Microdosing is what made me have similar realizations. I'm only considering ctb now due to severe chronic illnesses that have diminished my quality of life.
Microdosing is interesting sometimes it makes things seem more beautiful and spiritual and other times it brings out to much trauma
 
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goldenbananagirl

Member
Apr 5, 2024
62
Microdosing is interesting sometimes it makes things seem more beautiful and spiritual and other times it brings out to much trauma
That's true. It can definitely amplify whatever is going on internally. I found that the trauma it brought up for me was really stuff I needed to work through but I had to have a guide help me. It can be a good tool I think
 
divinemistress36

divinemistress36

Illuminated
Jan 1, 2024
3,276
That's true. It can definitely amplify whatever is going on internally. I found that the trauma it brought up for me was really stuff I needed to work through but I had to have a guide help me. It can be a good tool I think
Absolutely
 
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