Venting I’m getting worse. Again

[cemetorium]

I don't know where I'm going with other than to say that I'm depressed (as usual), and have been having stronger and stronger urges to commit. Lately my suicidal thoughts have been getting more and more frequent once again, and life has become unbearable. I want to drop out of college because I underestimated how much stress it would be on me, and I can't be bothered to try and keep up with it, not to mention how I'm extremely anxious and paranoid whenever I'm at school, in public, and even when I'm alone at home. Everything has become unbearable and too much for me to handle.

I don't know what to do other than just end it all. I don't know if I'll actually attempt soon, but I'm really feeling like I should find my rope and get some final things in order. I can't see any reason to go on, but I don't have a proper plan. Yet.

Also worth noting that my last 'proper' attempt was exactly 3 years ago, and my life hasn't improved and has only gotten worse. And I became an alcoholic since then. Lmao

thx for reading my ramble

 

[FuneralCry]

That must be really tiring what you are going through, it's dreadful how people have to suffer so much in this existence. But anyway, I wish you the best.

 

[anonymousfoxxo]

I am sorry to hear that. I just want to come here and wish you all the best.