Venting i'm getting so fucking tired of this

[emptymiku]

i have a friend who i've known for a few months, he always makes me so happy and recently every time i ask to hang out he's said he was busy. and i get it, i've been there, but i'm 95% sure that at least a few times he's just been making excutes to not talk to me. and that's fine, i would do the same thing to myself. but it's just making me so sad.

i'm so tired of laying in my bed for hours and hours waiting for a response or sulking over the fact that our friendship is probably over. he was probably what temporarily brought me out of depression in the first place..

if i had one wish, i just hope that he's happy. even if he has to leave me for it. that's all i want.

maybe i'm just overreacting, i tend to do that a lot. god, i fucking hope that's what i'm doing. but for the time being i have no other option but to believe it.

friendship is a fucking curse, i hate it. i hate it so much.

 

[ipmanwc0]

I know what you mean it really sucks

 

[MidnightCat]

That kind of thought process seems familiar to me.

I hope I don't offend you in any shape or form but.. have you been diagnosed with bpd?

 

[emptymiku]

That kind of thought process seems familiar to me.

I hope I don't offend you in any shape or form but.. have you been diagnosed with bpd?

i don't think i have bpd, at least i haven't looked into it much. i do know i have depression and what this friend himself described as a "critical inner voice" which makes me constantly & sometimes irrationally think people hate me even if they haven't done anything to prove that they do

 

[Aim]

i have a friend who i've known for a few months, he always makes me so happy and recently every time i ask to hang out he's said he was busy. and i get it, i've been there, but i'm 95% sure that at least a few times he's just been making excutes to not talk to me. and that's fine, i would do the same thing to myself. but it's just making me so sad.

i'm so tired of laying in my bed for hours and hours waiting for a response or sulking over the fact that our friendship is probably over. he was probably what temporarily brought me out of depression in the first place..

if i had one wish, i just hope that he's happy. even if he has to leave me for it. that's all i want.

maybe i'm just overreacting, i tend to do that a lot. god, i fucking hope that's what i'm doing. but for the time being i have no other option but to believe it.

friendship is a fucking curse, i hate it. i hate it so much.

But cant you ask him. Tell him how you feel in a nice way. And that you were wondering if something was wrong, or if its just you that is getting paranoid. Since the relationship means alot to you. You want to know if its something wrong... or something like that. I am no expert. But feel like thats a normal legit to ask your friend about. If it makes you unease.

 

[undecided]

i don't think i have bpd, at least i haven't looked into it much. i do know i have depression and what this friend himself described as a "critical inner voice" which makes me constantly & sometimes irrationally think people hate me even if they haven't done anything to prove that they do

It might be worth you looking into the possibility that you could be suffering with bpd. There are therapies available to help to understand and manage your extreme emotions, IF bpd is what you're suffering with.

 

[ClaudeCTTE]

It's common for friendships not to show interest in us. However, sometimes it's not good to depend on friendships because he can disappoint us at some point, and in the end, we might feel depressed.

There are many reasons why he might not be so interested, but I think you can draw a more precise conclusion. It could be that he doesn't talk to you because he's genuinely very busy, he might be feeling down and not want to talk to you, or he might prefer to be alone rather than have friends. He could also be the kind of person who constantly replaces everything around him, including friendships, and seeks new experiences.

Friendships become more challenging in adulthood, although it also happens in adolescence. During these stages, people tend to be more focused on their future to the point where they put friendships aside to concentrate on their studies or work. It's sad that this happens because society is essentially the cause of these disposable friendships, where people discard us in search of something different.

In addition to that, maintaining friendships is something people need to learn to make these relationships last. Clearly, you're trying to maintain your friendship, but your friend doesn't seem to be interested, and such a friendship unfortunately doesn't work.
I forgot to mention that a true friendship is not a matter of a few months but a relationship you've been building for years.

I recommend that you stop giving importance to this friendship and seek new relationships. Perhaps you can find people who truly appreciate you.

 

[emptymiku]

But cant you ask him. Tell him how you feel in a nice way. And that you were wondering if something was wrong, or if its just you that is getting paranoid. Since the relationship means alot to you. You want to know if its something wrong... or something like that. I am no expert. But feel like thats a normal legit to ask your friend about. If it makes you unease.

i've asked him that so many times, he always says that i didn't do anything wrong. i doubt his answer would be any different

It's common for friendships not to show interest in us. However, sometimes it's not good to depend on friendships because he can disappoint us at some point, and in the end, we might feel depressed.

There are many reasons why he might not be so interested, but I think you can draw a more precise conclusion. It could be that he doesn't talk to you because he's genuinely very busy, he might be feeling down and not want to talk to you, or he might prefer to be alone rather than have friends. He could also be the kind of person who constantly replaces everything around him, including friendships, and seeks new experiences.

Friendships become more challenging in adulthood, although it also happens in adolescence. During these stages, people tend to be more focused on their future to the point where they put friendships aside to concentrate on their studies or work. It's sad that this happens because society is essentially the cause of these disposable friendships, where people discard us in search of something different.

In addition to that, maintaining friendships is something people need to learn to make these relationships last. Clearly, you're trying to maintain your friendship, but your friend doesn't seem to be interested, and such a friendship unfortunately doesn't work.
I forgot to mention that a true friendship is not a matter of a few months but a relationship you've been building for years.

I recommend that you stop giving importance to this friendship and seek new relationships. Perhaps you can find people who truly appreciate you.

i don't know. i don't want to stop being friends with him, ever. especially if he is just so busy that he can't talk to me at all. i feel so stuck but i dont feel like just ditching him especially since he's the only close friend i've had in months

 

[ClaudeCTTE]

i don't know. i don't want to stop being friends with him, ever. especially if he is just so busy that he can't talk to me at all. i feel so stuck but i dont feel like just ditching him especially since he's the only close friend i've had in months

You don't need to end the friendship.

What I meant is that you should stop suffering because of him. We all have our reasons.
It's best to be patient.
Besides, during the time when you can't talk to him, you can try talking to other people, at least so you don't feel alone. It doesn't have to be necessarily with a different friend if you don't have any friends; it can be with anyone you want.

I'm telling you this because, just like you, I had a very close friendship, but my obsession with that friendship ruined it.
I remember also complaining because that person didn't talk to me, and in the end, my friend started hating me...

 

[Pluto]

I've been through this. At some point, the drama pushes them away in a vicious circle.