I’m done

[ghu_123]

I have so much bent up rage that I don't know what to do with it.
Everything in my life is failing and I'm so fucking tired of trying. I have ADHD, depression, I'm a coward, can't stand up for myself, naive and good for nothing.
I don't know what to do.

 

[Buried_Kid]

Were you diagnosed with those? If so, do you still go to therapy/psychiatrist?

Are you under treatment? How is that going?

I thought I could have adhd some time ago, I told that to my therapist and she told me she didn't like to diagnose things, because she didn't believe in diagnoses or something like that.
I then started going to a psychiatrist, told him my symptoms, but he gave me some anti-depression pills. Which didn't do much, because I couldn't withstand taking something for months until feeling a difference, and it didn't help at all with my motivation problems either.

 

[ghu_123]

Were you diagnosed with those? If so, do you still go to therapy/psychiatrist?

Are you under treatment? How is that going?

I thought I could have adhd some time ago, I told that to my therapist and she told me she didn't like to diagnose things, because she didn't believe in diagnoses or something like that.
I then started going to a psychiatrist, told him my symptoms, but he gave me some anti-depression pills. Which didn't do much, because I couldn't withstand taking something for months until feeling a difference, and it didn't help at all with my motivation problems either.

Yes I'm diagnosed with adhd and depression. I don't have any will power to do anything all I can do is make mistakes at my work. If I had method I would've cbt but I'm just too tired to do anything.
I feel that I'm utterly defeated by life. I don't know what to do

 

[Buried_Kid]

Sadly it isn't that easy to kill oneself peacefully and effortlessly. I guess that's why we see so many people taking drugs and just trying to cope with life instead of killing themselves.

 

[ghu_123]

Sadly it isn't that easy to kill oneself peacefully and effortlessly. I guess that's why we see so many people taking drugs and just trying to cope with life instead of killing themselves.

My only cope is lifting weights and even that fails me when I'm just overwhelmed with work and life.
I feel stuck and I need help but I don't know where to start. Therapy won't work, medication won't work. I'm just continuous failure who can't find his place in this world.

 

[theboy]

don't be so hard on yourself. from what you say, you can solve those self-esteem problems.

 

[ghu_123]

I've been trying my whole life. I'm just tired man, and for what exactly?
What it is in this world that is worth all of this effort? For the life of me I couldn't find it. And even if I'm willing to put this effort just because I can, I always fail. I was bad at school and university and I'm bad at my work. I live in a country that despises their expat population. How is it my fault that I was born here? Worse yet the country that I hold the passport of is Syria.
Europe will only take me if I was a super talented person with skills. I have no skills, and frankly I don't want to. I just want to give up and be done. Why is it that so radical?

don't be so hard on yourself. from what you say, you can solve those self-esteem problems.

 

[theboy]

I've been trying my whole life. I'm just tired man, and for what exactly?
What it is in this world that is worth all of this effort? For the life of me I couldn't find it. And even if I'm willing to put this effort just because I can, I always fail. I was bad at school and university and I'm bad at my work. I live in a country that despises their expat population. How is it my fault that I was born here? Worse yet the country that I hold the passport of is Syria.
Europe will only take me if I was a super talented person with skills. I have no skills, and frankly I don't want to. I just want to give up and be done. Why is it that so radical?

I am sorry you are going through this difficult time and asking yourself many questions. Sometimes I also ask myself these existential questions and they make me fall into a deep hole and confuse me. I hope that you can get out of this torment. anything pm

 

[uzuf86]

OP, you should seek therapy. Just search for therapists around you and tell them everything you're going through. If it's not too late you can turn things around. It's most likely that your situation is not like mine where there are absolutely 0 ways to move forward in life.
Build your confidence to move forward and look for whatever that gives you happiness.

 

[ghu_123]

OP, you should seek therapy. Just search for therapists around you and tell them everything you're going through. If it's not too late you can turn things around. It's most likely that your situation is not like mine where there are absolutely 0 ways to move forward in life.
Build your confidence to move forward and look for whatever that gives you happiness.

Why? I don't mean to come up as annoying but for the life of me I can't figure out a good why?
Why do I need to put all of this effort just to exits?
I'm completely alone, I've done therapy before with multiple people, didn't work for me. Tried meds, it's all for nothing.

My job sucks my soul away, I have no friends, no one to talk to, my family can't help me and I have to run away from them because they are Muslim and I'm an atheist.

Everything is so wrong in my life and I don't want to fix it. I'm just tired and want to give up.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

Why? I don't mean to come up as annoying but for the life of me I can't figure out a good why?
Why do I need to put all of this effort just to exits?
I'm completely alone, I've done therapy before with multiple people, didn't work for me. Tried meds, it's all for nothing.

My job sucks my soul away, I have no friends, no one to talk to, my family can't help me and I have to run away from them because they are Muslim and I'm an atheist.

Everything is so wrong in my life and I don't want to fix it. I'm just tired and want to give up.

I'm sorry you have to go through this and there's additional issues with religious stuff making your life so unbearable. Did choose a method?

 

[ghu_123]

I'm sorry you have to go through this and there's additional issues with religious stuff making your life so unbearable. Did choose a method?

No, I want it to like an accident. I don't want my family to know that I have cbted

 

[Praestat_Mori]

No, I want it to like an accident. I don't want my family to know that I have cbted

Making it look like an accident is a very difficult task, if not almost impossible.

 

[ghu_123]

Yep I know but that's how I want it go.
I honestly don't care about how the rest of the world would feel about it. All can go to hell. But my parents, they don't deserve to go through that hell.